When do we start rewiring?

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GoodMood

Member
Hey...so, my reboot so far:

1) One streak of 40 days. Relapsed. Binged. Back to square one.

2) One streak of 47 days. Relapsed once. Lasted 20 seconds on a pic. No binging. Progress still there.

3) Been on hard mode since that last relapse, It's been 14 days. Had one wet dream. Some morning wood and night erections.


I tested myself, I got a 80% erection while slowly massaging my dick. No deathgrip, no fantasy. The erection goes down after 30 seconds, 1 min though.

For the last 14 days I almost haven't had any urges. So I guess I am in a flatline? Do you necessarily have to feel like shit when in flatline? I just feel the same as usual. Some days I'm in a good mood, some days I feel a little bit down. Depends on the days. My change in lifestyle is definitly helping me feeling better than worse.

I do meditation once or twice a day for 20-30 mins.
Cold showers only, for the last 2 months
Work out hard 6 days a week
Good nutrition

My questions are:

1) When do you start rewiring?
2) Once I start getting urges again, will that mean my libido is coming back?
3) How do you know your libido is back?

I don't really understand the difference between your brain wanting his fix and real libido.

Thx for your help guys!
 
M

Mart71

Guest
The short answer is, you can start rewiring from the very first day of your reboot. Rewiring does not only mean "having sex".

Rewiring is anything related to a real partner you find attractive. Just spending a good time with a girl you like = you are rewiring. You can do that deep in a flatline.

Then there is the whole thing about holding hands, embracing, looking into each others eyes, opening up to another person, creating a bond, kissing, SMELLING, FEELING, making out, petting, caressing etc - all these things still do not involve penetrative sex. They can also be done in a flatline or from day one. And these are the things, that REALLY rewire your brain to the real thing btw. Otherwise going to hookers would work as a way to get better, but that usually doesn't work.

Even more important is the desire you develop for this real partner. The longing. If you are lucky, you'll even have a crush or fall in love. Still no sex needed to fall in love...

The urges that drive you to be with your partner and the longing to have sex with her as a person - that is real libido.

The urge to sit in a dark room and fap to a screen - that is your brain wanting a fix.

The urge to masturbate to fantasies about your partner - that is somewhere inbetween these two.

I realize this is probably not the answer you are looking or hoping for, but it is my opinion about the matter.
 
G

GoodMood

Member
Actually that's a good answer.

I was wondering whether I should start dating again or not. I guess I will....plus it's the summer...better enjoy it while it lasts.

Thanks man.
 
Madaemosewa

Madaemosewa

Member
Keep motivated and determined. You're doing well. I came up with the idea of downloading k9 and writing a hard password of numbers letters and complex keys on the 0-9 keys. I cannot remember it for the life of me and I hid it in 3 places (so after 120 days at least 1 will probably remain) which are very hard to reach, which will take a long time to retrieve. (Before this I changed the settings so I cannot see any porn, but can still go on educational resources) . Therefore, if or when I get an urge, I cannot get on porn, unless I get the password back and change the setting, which I doubt will happen before I change my mind as it's hard to get . I also cut the charger on my Ipad. I'm porn free- essentially.
 
G

GoodMood

Member
Hooked up with a girl last night, didn't waste anytime lol. But no sex...I promised myself I would go 90 days hard mode. It was great, a lot of tension, kissing, heavy petting...maybe that explains why I had a wet dream this morning.

On the way to seeing her I was feeling so clear minded and cheerful, I even spoke with people on the subway...the kind of shit I would NEVER do, not sober at least...

To be honnest I was a little skeptical about the benefits of no PMO on social anxiety and confidence..I had been this way for so many years I just started believing that it was me...that it was just my personnality and I had to live with it.

But I saw yesterday that it was all true, and that it does work. I even start speaking my mind and imposing myself...these behavious just come naturally...it's really weird..in a good way.

When I was a teen, like around 15, I was a leader...I had my group of friends...I would crack all the jokes...start all the trends..influence people etc..then that all changed.

Maybe no pmo can bring out that side of me again. I'm really excited to see where this is going.
 
H

Hedges

Member
GoodMood said:
On the way to seeing her I was feeling so clear minded and cheerful, I even spoke with people on the subway...the kind of shit I would NEVER do, not sober at least...

To be honnest I was a little skeptical about the benefits of no PMO on social anxiety and confidence..I had been this way for so many years I just started believing that it was me...that it was just my personnality and I had to live with it.

But I saw yesterday that it was all true, and that it does work. I even start speaking my mind and imposing myself...these behavious just come naturally...it's really weird..in a good way.

When I was a teen, like around 15, I was a leader...I had my group of friends...I would crack all the jokes...start all the trends..influence people etc..then that all changed.

Maybe no pmo can bring out that side of me again. I'm really excited to see where this is going.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear man! We have the same stories being young and a leader in group of friends.  This was exactly what I was too and looking forward to it! I am starting to see that same type of quality coming back out of myself and it is such an amazing feeling!
 
G

GoodMood

Member
Ok...so...I invited this girl over tonight. Even though I took 2 ED pills, I still couldn't get it up while she was blowing me

At least now I know that i'm in a proper flatline....I wasn't sure before that.

I feel relieved...that means I'm going through the process. I really hesitated before inviting her because I promised myself I would go 90 days hardmode, but I thought I was good to start rewiring.

Now I know. I'm just gonna stick to the 90 days hardmode, and I'm glad I didn't break my promise.

 
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