DeltaFosAware
Active Member
It's interesting that you ask if the porn image hints will ever totally drop from your mind. (You were wise taking care what you selected on Netflix. This again shows you not so much maybe exercising 'control' as a new found freedom of choice.)
That links into me during moments of boredom when I am near a computer or the inter-net. For one reason or another I have heaps of time on my hands at the moment. In many ways it's a fantastic blessing. My previous job nearly burned me out both mentally and physically. It was certainly a factor behind my depression and it's good just now to start to recover my time and my balance in my life.
It may be good but it makes me think how lucky I am that through avoidance many of the porn triggers are simply gone. The main one that can hook me back is mere 'curiosity.' If you think about that it's not a million miles from 'novelty', a major part of my porn addiction. Being somehow 'curious as to if there is a winning ticket' can easily lead to a click fest of willy pulling indulgence. Yet, and here's the good news, having sorted out so much of what was 'behind the porn' the search for novelty, that began with human curiosity, does not HAVE to end in PMO.
The way I see it is a bit like being an alcoholic. It's maybe not a good idea for me to walk down a street with a bar in every corner but slowly I WILL be able to go in and have a soft drink. What I am looking for is simply NEVER going to be found in porn. I could wank myself to a spent husk, emotionally and mentally drain all I have, suck all goodness out of life and STILL not find the golden nugget! What I HAVE found though is that Porn does ALTER the way you look at women.
Okay, for most of us the alteration is not 'dangerous' because we can separate fantasy and reality. Yet you do see yourself objectifying ordinary women, becoming less sensitive to them as living, breathing humans. For me the change comes about more when I see myself as wanting to RELATE to PEOPLE not just women. In relating to people you can touch their souls, entwine with their feelings, their hopes and desires, in porn you ONLY have an image that constantly changes...In a very real way porn is STUPID and it feeds your own stupidity. Possibly it relates totally to the idea of a 'stupor', rather than it being drunk or drug created, the dopamine rush in your head has stupefied you during the action of your right hand....
Keep up the good work my friend. Bless you and yours as always.
That links into me during moments of boredom when I am near a computer or the inter-net. For one reason or another I have heaps of time on my hands at the moment. In many ways it's a fantastic blessing. My previous job nearly burned me out both mentally and physically. It was certainly a factor behind my depression and it's good just now to start to recover my time and my balance in my life.
It may be good but it makes me think how lucky I am that through avoidance many of the porn triggers are simply gone. The main one that can hook me back is mere 'curiosity.' If you think about that it's not a million miles from 'novelty', a major part of my porn addiction. Being somehow 'curious as to if there is a winning ticket' can easily lead to a click fest of willy pulling indulgence. Yet, and here's the good news, having sorted out so much of what was 'behind the porn' the search for novelty, that began with human curiosity, does not HAVE to end in PMO.
The way I see it is a bit like being an alcoholic. It's maybe not a good idea for me to walk down a street with a bar in every corner but slowly I WILL be able to go in and have a soft drink. What I am looking for is simply NEVER going to be found in porn. I could wank myself to a spent husk, emotionally and mentally drain all I have, suck all goodness out of life and STILL not find the golden nugget! What I HAVE found though is that Porn does ALTER the way you look at women.
Okay, for most of us the alteration is not 'dangerous' because we can separate fantasy and reality. Yet you do see yourself objectifying ordinary women, becoming less sensitive to them as living, breathing humans. For me the change comes about more when I see myself as wanting to RELATE to PEOPLE not just women. In relating to people you can touch their souls, entwine with their feelings, their hopes and desires, in porn you ONLY have an image that constantly changes...In a very real way porn is STUPID and it feeds your own stupidity. Possibly it relates totally to the idea of a 'stupor', rather than it being drunk or drug created, the dopamine rush in your head has stupefied you during the action of your right hand....
Keep up the good work my friend. Bless you and yours as always.
