Hi,
I am a religious Jew, 31 years old, married and have 2 great kids.
I first viewed porn when I was 12 years old when one of my siblings showed me something I had no idea about. Since then its pretty much been a sown hill battle. Being a religious Jew, I found this incredibly tough as there is no one I felt I could speak to about this issue. I know that I've felt guilty about it. I managed to find an accountability partner whom I know, but that fell away a few months ago - it was too hard for me to keep telling him of my failure even though I know he only wants me to succeed.
I've always been a pretty "happy go lucky kind of person" but found that this is changing and I dont like it. I get mad at my kids all the time, haven't had or even wanted sex with my wife in ages. I've managed to go more than 3 months without porn for a while, but I think it was more out of "avoidance" than an actual decision not to engage again... if that makes sense. I am part of a jewish group similar to this one (but with a different angle - called guard your eyes) but the scientific side on this site really makes a lot of sense to me.
I'm here because I feel most of the symptoms discussed on the yourbrainonporn site, I feel I have no energy where I used to have tons. I have no motivation for anything, my career has sloped, though I just started a business with a friend - but I feel like I add very little value, suffer from low self esteem and confidence, struggle to connect with people like I used to, low libido and pretty much want to be alone alot and do my own thing. I WANT MY LIFE BACK, so here I am.
As I write this, I am on my 4th day of no PMO and feel pretty good about it, but I want more than just avoidance. I want to spend my time connecting with my wife, friends and family. I want the passion back in my marriage. I want more intimacy with my wife, but afraid that I dont even know what that really looks like. I'm looking forward to the journey though I know its going to be a tough one - what keeps me going is that I know there is more to life and happy to be going for that as my goal
I'm looking for an accountability partner here, so if you need one, please PM me.
I am a religious Jew, 31 years old, married and have 2 great kids.
I first viewed porn when I was 12 years old when one of my siblings showed me something I had no idea about. Since then its pretty much been a sown hill battle. Being a religious Jew, I found this incredibly tough as there is no one I felt I could speak to about this issue. I know that I've felt guilty about it. I managed to find an accountability partner whom I know, but that fell away a few months ago - it was too hard for me to keep telling him of my failure even though I know he only wants me to succeed.
I've always been a pretty "happy go lucky kind of person" but found that this is changing and I dont like it. I get mad at my kids all the time, haven't had or even wanted sex with my wife in ages. I've managed to go more than 3 months without porn for a while, but I think it was more out of "avoidance" than an actual decision not to engage again... if that makes sense. I am part of a jewish group similar to this one (but with a different angle - called guard your eyes) but the scientific side on this site really makes a lot of sense to me.
I'm here because I feel most of the symptoms discussed on the yourbrainonporn site, I feel I have no energy where I used to have tons. I have no motivation for anything, my career has sloped, though I just started a business with a friend - but I feel like I add very little value, suffer from low self esteem and confidence, struggle to connect with people like I used to, low libido and pretty much want to be alone alot and do my own thing. I WANT MY LIFE BACK, so here I am.
As I write this, I am on my 4th day of no PMO and feel pretty good about it, but I want more than just avoidance. I want to spend my time connecting with my wife, friends and family. I want the passion back in my marriage. I want more intimacy with my wife, but afraid that I dont even know what that really looks like. I'm looking forward to the journey though I know its going to be a tough one - what keeps me going is that I know there is more to life and happy to be going for that as my goal
I'm looking for an accountability partner here, so if you need one, please PM me.