I'm on my way!

K

KW1989KW

Active Member
21zo,

I found it hard at first to go hard mode, but I'll be honest, cutting it out for longer periods of time and working to better the distance between MO's helped me. Then it became easy to not MO for 20 days, then 30, then 40 and now over 50 days. What encourages me is my want to be with a woman again. I want nothing more than to feel as I once did about them. It is slowly but surely coming back. As I said above, I am feeling something I haven't felt since I was a teen. If this isn't a sign that NO P and NO MO is working then I don't know what else is. I had doubts for sure, but going hard mode has really opened my eyes to something. I love it.

Keep up the hard work, stay away from P, try not to excite yourself by any touching and STOP the MO. Once you touch it's hard to stop trust me. Strive to better your days without any MO. It'll get better, but you need to just do it. That's it..... JUST DO IT.

Let me know if you need any help.

ImOnMyWay
 
K

KW1989KW

Active Member
Week 9:

Hey all, it's been a couple weeks sorry for that. Everything seems to be going really well. I had an unbelievable night with my lady last Friday. We sat on my patio with some beers, we cooked together, walked my pup and had a little movie night. Lets just say the I don't remember the movies.... I feel unbelievable with this girl. We told each other we wanted to go slow and that's what we're doing. We're enjoying the moments. We got a little hot and heavy and you know what, my buddy was erect the entire time. We didn't make love yet, but definitely fooled around a bit and it feels amazing. She made a comment to me that if I went another hour erect she would take me to the Dr.'s..... HAHA. So as we laid there together my new girl and I decided to become exclusive. I couldn't be more happy. I'm actually really anxious to go see her tonight as I sit in my office writing this.

So what have I noticed:

- My anxiety about sex is slowly going away. Am I nervous sure, but I'm feeling more comfortable around my girl.
- My morning woods are on and off. Some mornings they're unbelievable and other days they are eh.... okay.
- I noticed after my weekend high with my lady that I went into a bit of a flatline..... but as I sit here I'm getting excited thinking about her.
- I've noticed my stress at work and my side business has caused me a little frustration with my libido or arousal through the week. I was not stressed for
  a while and as soon as my busy season started I could feel my sex drive dip a bit.
- I am happy to say I have not M'ed or MO'ed since the start of my hard mode. Here I am 9 weeks in and I've noticed some huge gains and some small
  dips. I feel this is natural.
- P is not something I think about anymore. I don't even go through the search on Instagram anymore. I found it was a trigger and I just don't do it.
- After that wet dream I did fall into a small flatline, but I came right out of it.
- I am more passionate with the girl I am seeing unlike any other I've been with. I pull her aside from what shes doing all the time and start kissing her.
  If we're walking through the street I pull her away to an alley and make out with her against a wall. I have not done this in years because I felt insecure.
- My sex drive seems to be what I'd call normal. I don't fantasize at work like I once did. If the thought comes to mind I realize the thoughts there and let
  it go. I become aroused when the weekend arrives and I get to see my lady. I feel this is normal.
- Through the week I go into a non-sexual mood. It honestly feels that way. I work a lot and feel without my lady around I have no need to be aroused
  anyway.

All in all I feel really good. Some days I'm not aroused at all. (Like at all) And other days I'm beyond excited. This seems to be a normal pattern for me and may this is a normal pattern without any other stimulation. I am aroused when I need to be. Hey, the way I look at it, 2 years ago I was in a shell and had no way out. Now..... I'm P free, I have a GF, I am learning to deal with stress and I've become more comfortable with myself than ever before. This is all a success in my book.

Let me know if this helps anyone.

Hope you all are doing great and have found that this reboot definitely helps.

ImOnMyWay
 
K

KW1989KW

Active Member
MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERS. I APOLOGIZE, BUT I WANT TO SHARE MY UPDATE!!!

So I have a bit of a success story for all of you! My girl and I got pretty heated on the couch Saturday evening and it went in the direction I knew it would. I was rock hard the whole time making out with her cloths still on. All of a sudden my anxiety kicked in and I went soft. I was really upset with myself and discussed with her I just needed to be comfortable and I will be fine. That my anxiety sometimes kicks in and as a result this is what happens. She completely understood and was really really cool about the situation. She also made a comment saying whatever it took she would wait. :) So the night went on and I could tell I was a bit upset about my buddy not working again. Only this time I knew it had nothing to do with P since I haven't seen P in over a year and a half or better. Lost track to be honest. This time I knew it was performance anxiety and stress. So after discussing my issue about my anxiety and stress from work, we went back to relaxing together which turned into making out which turned into other stuff. We didn't make love yet because we want to wait, but we did foreplay and I was able to make her O and I was able to O from her just touching me. This happened three times between midnight and the next morning. I was focused on her the whole time. My mind never wandered to any P or any other girl. I was completely focused on her. The feeling, the touches, the smells, her reactions and body movements. I was concerned if I would last long enough and my buddy did go a little soft, but then bounced right back. She even said to me that I seemed a bit more comfortable..... I smiled and she smiled back. We laid there with each other and took in the moment. It was really special.

I can't stress enough how honesty and the person you are with makes all the difference. Just talking to my GF about it made me feel better. I didn't go into that I used to watch P because honestly I have not looked at it or thought about it in a pretty decent amount of time. My only concern is that I feel I am in a bit of a flat line after being in such a high right now. Not sure how normal this is. But I am going to read some success stories and see if this is common. Lets be honest, it's been several years since I've had any successful sex. This is a huge breakthrough for me. And I feel I have found someone truly special looking for something real.

I now need to work on my stress at work and my anxiety over sex. Both things I am pretty sure I can tackle. I mean I made it through the reboot... and now look.... positive things are happening. :)

I hope you all are having a successful reboot as well.

My best,

ImOnMyWay
 
K

KW1989KW

Active Member
Love thyself, Thank you for the kind words. It makes this journey a lot better when you know there are people supporting you through the good and bad.

Real quick, I had a panic attack yesterday AM because of work and the stress of it. So I made it a point this AM to meditate before work and bring my dog to work. What a world of a difference. Complete 180 from yesterday. Just shows you how non-linear life can be. We need to take these bad moments and learn from them to move forward. Same with the reboot. We did something shitty (WATCHED P) and now we know the consequences. We learned from the bad habit and are fixing it.

Anyway, I am feeling better today which is all I can ask for.

Good luck all,

ImOnMyWay
 
K

KW1989KW

Active Member
Everyone, I am here to tell you I have finally written a success story!!!!!!!!!!!!  :D A story that still has some chapters left to fill, but I feel is a success. Take a look and let me know what you think.

My best to all and keep up all the hard work.

ImOnMyWay
 
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