Dan F. - Comitting to the journey - Enough is enough

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Dfletch07

Member
Day 85+...

Well here we are, almost 5 days out from 90 and even i'm curious to things. My mindset hasn't been there of late these days. I wish I could say I didn't know why, but it is obvious.

Start, still pondering about Jane (GET OVER IT DUDE...), but same time have met two other women and had sex without an issue. It was relieving to have those encounters with them and with a condom. These women won't amount to what Jane was in my eyes and in reality, that is without the blinders on. I hate this fucking bar or standard that I have in my head. I want a caliber woman and now my focus has shifted outside this whole "no-fap" epidemic that popped up in my life.

Things I have noticed that needed to be PRIORITY... the "no-fap" isn't done, but to go look at porn is no longer an option of mine. Things are recovering, but my mind is craving and desiring sex 24/7...literally.

Priorities that needed to be changed immediately.

1.) Develop a stronger intentional social life
2.) Develop what a quality women is in my eyes, but don't focus on it.
3.) Refind your purpose and passions in life
....I did with my triathlon training, i've never trained this hard and it is encouraging
4.) Find friends, real friends that can make a difference as I can in their life.
5.) Move the FUCK on! (Hey D, did you read that as you wrote MOVE THE FUCK ON).
....I unvailed some truth today about her devious lies; so much for "open and honest"

Appreciate the uplifting messages. Dam these last 70 days have felt like a rant about Jane over PMO recovering. Yet that has been seen behind the scenes.
 
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Dfletch07

Member
Day 96+

Well the journey is successful, but far from over. I cannot attest to its benefit of commitment that has long been overdue. This has taught me though a bigger purpose. Sadly my attachment was codependent to a toxic woman in my life during this journey, but I am grateful of her help in during it. Much more to do, but this now puts focus on bigger areas.

For the PMO journey...where have I seen my benefits.

Sex..I can now have multiple rounds WITH a condom! That is HUGE for me as I have was risky in the past because my man was exhausted or ruined to the sensation
...Libido - I am starting to feel that passion and desire
...Erections - Up and Down still, morning woods are lacking, but my other encounters have not been an issue.
...Focus/Mental - Work, memory, recalling, and other important things are no longer an issue; I am back in my intelligent grounds.
...Self-Esteem - It is training me to want sex with a woman, have confidence, take advantage of what I have and want.

Things to work on...

Codependency - I have to focus on myself and be happy in myself. Sex is a STRONG toxic way to irrationally look at a woman. I value the desire for intimacy with a woman, but I NEED to be happy with who I am and what my life is all about before I look at bringing a woman into the equation.

Do not be complacent - I will NOT fall back to my PMO ways even though I miss what once was.

WALK AWAY AND DON"T LOOK BACK!?!? - You HAVE to be able to walk away from a toxic relationship; I still struggle there. Jane is nothing but a cheating woman who is ENRAGED by a mass sex addiction. Am I jealous she isn't in my arms anymore, hell yes. Yet, I do not miss the dishonesty, silver tongue tipped words, and lack of communication. I am grateful for our encounter and things she taught me along the way. Even though she was gorgeous in many areas, she will find out her hyper sexual ways will ruin her life soon. I set myself up for failure there because the relationship we established was already on a bed of lies. Recognize who you are getting into with before you become attached.

My 90 day journey has been rewarding and I am glad to not be face in front of a computer jerking off and telling my body this is what sex is, because it is not. LIVE gentlemen and women, LIVE!

From a man who is progressing to moving on,
From someone who has loved and admired a cursed unicorn,
From a man whore with to many unknown and forgotten lovers,
From an individual who wants nothing but the best for everyone (including Jane),
From an ungrateful bastard who needs to appreciate what is in front of him,
From a desperate romantic naive lover,
From a boy who finally sees it is time to become the man he rightfully should be,
From an honest Joe in the middle of no where,
LIVE YOUR LIFE OUTSIDE OF PORN AND FIND WORTHY INDIVIDUALS

I am still plagued with my sexual ambitions and desires. I just hope to find a woman who can exceed my own outside the vanilla lifestyle. Loving myself and forgiving my past transgressions.
 
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