I thought I would share my very sad sad story. Any words of wisdom/encouragement would be much appreciated.
I am an athletic 20 yr old straight male. Had been seriously addicted to jacking it to fully clothed instagram models (and extremely embarrassed about it) since I was about 17 years old. I only did this because I was a fool and did not know the harm i was causing myself. Instagram models are all i really ever used to get me going, but sometimes just used my imagination. Experienced somewhat weak erections for a couple months leading up to my flatline, until sometime in march when it felt like a switch flipped in my head and I could no longer get it up to anything at all. I am almost sure the problem isn't below the belt because I get very occasional morning wood and maybe once every couple days after 10 minutes of playing pocket pool (without using imagination) ill feel signs of life in my pants, but this is very infrequent and rarely occurs.
I have a girlfriend who I love very much, we started going out after my initial flatline. Spending time with her feels rehabilitating, but I feel immense guilt whenever I'm around her. Were taking things slow, mostly because I feel too much shame to be able to tell ANYONE (even my doctor) about my problems let alone her. It feels like I am intentionally pushing her away at times and I hate myself for it. It adds to the guilt keeping quiet about my condition, but I know it would bring me to tears no matter who I told and I am just not prepared to do that.
I started going to the gym with old friends and running long distances almost every day to blow off steam but it doesn't ease the pain much. Now I am more fit than ever before, but it honestly makes me feel even worse knowing how broken i am on the inside.
I am now about exactly 3 months in to my reboot with basically zero improvement. I had some pretty severe depression for about the entirety of the 2nd-3rd month and that feels slightly less severe now, but it still has been coming back in cycles. That is about the only thing that has changed.
Thanks for reading
I am an athletic 20 yr old straight male. Had been seriously addicted to jacking it to fully clothed instagram models (and extremely embarrassed about it) since I was about 17 years old. I only did this because I was a fool and did not know the harm i was causing myself. Instagram models are all i really ever used to get me going, but sometimes just used my imagination. Experienced somewhat weak erections for a couple months leading up to my flatline, until sometime in march when it felt like a switch flipped in my head and I could no longer get it up to anything at all. I am almost sure the problem isn't below the belt because I get very occasional morning wood and maybe once every couple days after 10 minutes of playing pocket pool (without using imagination) ill feel signs of life in my pants, but this is very infrequent and rarely occurs.
I have a girlfriend who I love very much, we started going out after my initial flatline. Spending time with her feels rehabilitating, but I feel immense guilt whenever I'm around her. Were taking things slow, mostly because I feel too much shame to be able to tell ANYONE (even my doctor) about my problems let alone her. It feels like I am intentionally pushing her away at times and I hate myself for it. It adds to the guilt keeping quiet about my condition, but I know it would bring me to tears no matter who I told and I am just not prepared to do that.
I started going to the gym with old friends and running long distances almost every day to blow off steam but it doesn't ease the pain much. Now I am more fit than ever before, but it honestly makes me feel even worse knowing how broken i am on the inside.
I am now about exactly 3 months in to my reboot with basically zero improvement. I had some pretty severe depression for about the entirety of the 2nd-3rd month and that feels slightly less severe now, but it still has been coming back in cycles. That is about the only thing that has changed.
Thanks for reading