This is something I've been really thinking about quite a bit recently. I've been involved in the whole PUA community and wondering just how important looks really are (to both sexes) and if there is a difference to what we're both attracted to.
I read a book by W. Anton that really shed some light on this whole subject.
From an evolutionary point of view, men are hard-wired to be attracted to womens' bodies, because it is how they choose a woman who will have the most success in bearing children and remaining alive and healthy afterwards. What men consider hot (warning, skip to next paragraph, as these will be triggers: perky breasts, slender bodies, youthful looking face, etc.)
are really just indicators of the most healthy females to reproduce with. Back in early times, before all the technology we take for granted today, there were no doctor reports on whether or not a woman had a disease, whether or not a woman could or could not have children, etc. So men relied upon what a woman's body looked like in order to guage her suitability for reproduction. Another factor here is that technology is keeping people alive that would normally have died back in these times as well. We now have electricity, indoor & outdoor plumbing (most countries), don't have to hunt for our own food - but can get it at the supermarket, etc. All of these conveniences mean that people who are not in the best shape physically, are surviving just fine, because they are not required to do much; however, even though this is the case now, for most of our history, this has not been the case, and it's like our brains are struggling to catch up, so men are still attracted to womens' bodies. It is not because they are shallow, not because they are not open-minded, etc. this is a natural evolutionary causation - it's hard-wired into males to be attracted to womens' bodies, period.
Most of society says men should be more like women these days, afterall, women are not concerned with mens' bodies or looks that much, but look deeper into what a man's personality and behaviors are. This sounds like solid advice, until you begin to understand that women are hard-wired to be attracted to this exact thing from men. The reason is that men do not give birth to babies - so, women for most of history, did not care about men's bodies, but rather their willingness and capability to protect and keep them and their offspring safe. Men were the ones who were responsible to keep women and their children safe from predators, from other men who wanted what they had, from men who wanted to take their woman, etc. Women therefore naturally began to select men based upon their confident demeanor, which translated into their ability to take care of them. Women, to this day, still look for confident men, and it's not because they are any less shallow than men, but rather because it's what has proved to show the most suitable men to reproduce with, in order to have protection and safety for them and their offspring. Thus, what turns women on, is not a guy's legs, or his body in general, but rather the way he acts, and how confident he appears to be. Women are turned on to things that signify a suitable sexual partner, the same way men are.
Now, what really complicates things nowadays is that women and babies are not really in any real threat anymore. They live in houses, they can call the cops, they can shop at a grocery store, etc. Men and their abilities is not really needed anymore, so society says that we need to make men more like women, because their particular strengths are not necessary any longer. What they fail to realize however is that when something goes wrong (and it always does), they will not have any men to depend upon, because they are all being feminized by society at large. Women complain these days, "where are all the real men at"? Well, to answer that question, look at how many young boys and men in general are being socialized to be more feminine. They are told not to be so violent, they are told as boys not to play with weapons, but rather try barbie dolls, etc. Men still have this drive to protect and conquer, because that is what they are born for, but society would have them brainwashed to believe they hold no value in this mindset, and thus must adopt a mindset that is more based upon harmony, cooperation, and congruence.
So, this kind of a post reminds me of all of these things, and how utterly lost most men really are, and I feel I must put down these thoughts, because these are things society does not like to talk about. Women do age, and become less attractive physically; men do go through life crises, and become less confident in themselves for a time. I think the key is for both sexes to understand what the other one is attracted to and do their best to keep themselves attractive for the other. For men to work solely on their bodies in the gym, and to neglect making their women feel cherieshed and loved and taken care of, will only push women away. For women to neglect working on their bodies, and only focus on making herself a better person internally, will only push men away. We must learn what the other sex needs, and view ourselves from that perspective, in order to remain attractive to them.
I hope this helps to clarify some things.
