Age 26 - Time to change!

[jjhh]

Past couple of days I had some testicle pains.
Yesterday I was jogging and this morning the pain was getting worse.
I have read some stories about testicle infections due to no-fap... scary stuff...
Anyway so I did MO one time just to clean the pipes.  Not making a habit out of it and I did reset the counter.
I think it was about 24 days, before reset?

Continuing hardmode now!

Edit. The thing is I don't have any wet dreams. No sex in my dreams at all in a long time.

 

[qrayzHD]

Keep track of how many days you have gone without porn because that really means something.

 

[jjhh]

Keep track of how many days you have gone without porn because that really means something.

Yeah, perhaps I should.
I don't really have a goal set in number of days though, and I'm getting lazy at counting days and reseting counters!  ;D
I don't have too much drive towards porn anymore... It's been well over 2 months since I last did the whole PMO thing.
Sometimes when I browse the web I get the temporary urge to google some adult imagery... Sometimes I end up doing it for a minute. But not to the point of diving in and really enjoying it like I used to.

I'm hoping to ditch that habit completely anyway.

Edit.
No more pain in the balls btw! That's a relief.

 

[jjhh]

Reset due MO, no porn.
The tracer effect get's me again... I just could not sleep, and O was the only thing that helped. Besides gf is being a tease. And I love it. Haha.
At least I know she doesn't mind me masturbating about her, so I don't feel bad.
Still, I'm keep trying the hardmode....

I did tell her that I have been struggling with porn in the past, that I'm pretty much clear of it now, and that she has been great help to me by directing my thoughts towards her and away from porn.
I didn't really go into specifics or mention my reboot. Anyway, she took it really well and thanked me for telling her.
Awesome woman she is. Felt good to get that off my heart!

 

[jjhh]

Girlfriend giving me hints that she is ready to be proposed.
That's why she is teasing me, trying to speed things up... She behaved super conservative until she was sure I was not only interested at sex. Then she started showing her wild side. Oh boy...
I got my proposal schedule planned already, but I like to keep her guessing and trying to rush me. Lol.  ;D

Counter reset again. Oh well, I'm not giving up.

 

[qrayzHD]

Awesome, great to hear.

 

[jjhh]

Yeah, thanks grayz.
I almost feel bad about writing this journal. My life going so good atm, and for most here it's the opposite.
But just weeks before starting this journal I was in one of the lowest points of my life.
I hope that can be an encouragement to some guys who are going through hell.

I'm motivated to go hardcore again. Like seriously this time. No more stopping at 30 days.

 

[qrayzHD]

You sound like a great guy and you deserve all of the success that we are all hoping to achieve, i have been struggling with hardmode lately and would also like to try harder, lets do it.

 

[jjhh]

You sound like a great guy and you deserve all of the success that we are all hoping to achieve, i have been struggling with hardmode lately and would also like to try harder, lets do it.

Good luck to you!
There's only one way to do hardmode: The hard way.  ;D

Though starting the hardmode the third time, I have noticed it's alot easier than the first time was.
I guess it's just body adjusting to less O? It's not a cold turkey-quit anymore.
Also I think I'm mentally less hooked to MO, so that even if feeling aroused the MO doesn't immediately enter my mind like it used to.

 

[nasferatu]

You sound like a great guy and you deserve all of the success that we are all hoping to achieve, i have been struggling with hardmode lately and would also like to try harder, lets do it.

Good luck to you!
There's only one way to do hardmode: The hard way.  ;D

Though starting the hardmode the third time, I have noticed it's alot easier than the first time was.
I guess it's just body adjusting to less O? It's not a cold turkey-quit anymore.
Also I think I'm mentally less hooked to MO, so that even if feeling aroused the MO doesn't immediately enter my mind like it used to.

That's awesome. Glad everything's going so well for you. I originally read this whole thread about 5 or 6 days ago and just signed up the other day. Took me a few minutes to track it down because I wanted to comment.

I've been rebooting for 7 days now and I'm on my 8th. I never thought I'd make it this far to be honest with you, but I'm glad I did. One of the reasons I wanted to comment on your thread is because you mentioned your problems with acne and how it improved when you gave up PMO.

I'm was a bit skeptical that abstaining from PMO could improve your skin. When you research acne information, everything I've ever seen says masturbation has nothing to do with acne. Well I've had acne since I was 12-13 and my whole face has what I would call minor scarring. My teenage years were the worst. I'm 26 now and I still get cysts and whiteheads just not as many. Usually 1 or 2 white heads every day. The past month was really bad for me. I had a nasty cyst on my chin that swelled up and turned purple. It was quite disfiguring and it contributed to me not going work that morning and quitting my new job. The week before that, I had an embarrassing sore spot on the corner of my lower lip where a large pimple had been. Needless to say I was having a bad month.

After abstaining from PMO I have to say my skin has been a lot clearer than before I started. As I type this I have one tiny white head on my temple and a tiny cyst under the skin on my cheek. Both barely noticeable. I think my complexion as a whole looks better too. Not as red.

Now I'm not gonna say no PMO is a miracle cure for acne, and I think it wouldn't have made much of a difference when I was younger because my hormones were out of control anyway, and haven't always been PMOing. But right now, either it's really coincidental timing or it's helping my skin to not break out as much. I plan to keep an eye on it tosee if it continues but it's definitely interesting to watch.

 

[jjhh]

Thanks for your reply nasferatu.
I have also been very skeptical about masturbation affecting acne before. Few years ago I figured I would try abstaining to see if it has any effect, but I lacked the motivation to do more than few days.
But now when I did the 30 days of no-MO, my skin was truly better than ever. I would say around 80% clear within a month. And I didn't change anything else really, food, skin products or anything like that.
And once I started the MO again, I started breaking out within a week or so.
Could be a coincidence, but it definately motivates me to do hardcore again and I hope it motivates you too!

So yeah, I will report more about it once I get some more weeks in my counter.

 

[jjhh]

Doing good, staying strong!
I had a busy and fun week. Haven't been enging or anywhere close to relapse past days.

One of the biggest changes I have noticed in myself is huge reduction in anxiety levels, both performance and social anxiety.
I actually volunteered to do some public speaking tomorrow. That's something the "old me" would never volunteer to do!
Yet I'm not too stressed about it now. I'm just going to go with the flow and see how it goes...

 

[datkid93]

Sounds Like Your Doing Great man and making progress! Keep going and keep that positive attitude. Feel like like alot of us including myself could use that.

 

[jjhh]

Sounds Like Your Doing Great man and making progress! Keep going and keep that positive attitude. Feel like like alot of us including myself could use that.

Thanks man.
Public speaking went well. I was a bit anxious yet not enough to bother me much. It wasn't a big talk or audience, but I went out of my comfort zone again yet did ok. That feels good.
Close to two weeks of no-MO and I see my acne clearing again. Nice.

 

[jjhh]

Very close to relapse today.
Girlfriend turning me on yesterday so today I ended up googling erotic stuff and edging for a moment.
I need to kill that habit or I can't do this long term.

 

[jjhh]

20 days, yay. Feels good.
Relationship with gf going great. Work is good. Skin looking good. No pain in the balls. Phew.
No flatlining in sight, been very horny at times, especially the mornings when waking up early.
I'm still learning to cope with it and trying not to let my guard down.

 

[Vargulf]

Just checking in jjhh, I hope your still going great and the relationship is growing with the gf, man. How long have you been PMO free now?

 

[jjhh]

Just checking in jjhh, I hope your still going great and the relationship is growing with the gf, man. How long have you been PMO free now?

Thanks for asking, I'm doing good.
Been very busy lately, in a good way. I did fall into minor MO again, but I don't feel too bad about it. Haven't touched porn and that's the important part IMO.
I don't really feel much urge to MO anymore, but I'm still getting the occasional relapse when I'm low on motivation and tired etc.
Sticking with it!
Relation with gf is growing very well. Growing into deeper, more open and more relaxed relationship and that's wonderful. We are going to spend the christmas together and I'm waiting eagerly for it.
Started taking some meds for acne recently and that's working out nicely. Because of that I can't report on the possible PMO&acne connection anymore though.

 

[Vargulf]

That interesting I have struggled with some bad skin too and come to think of it mine has cleared up since PM free. I hope it doesn't come back with regular normal sexual activity

Hope the Xmas goes awesome, you'll be fine through this now with such a good girl by your side. Good work bro!

 

[jjhh]

Sorry for not updating.
I proposed her at new years eve. She said yes. 
Never been happier!

Still having some difficulty with hardcore no-mo, but I keep working on it.