sleepking69
Member
... Man that's incredible... Good on you for being able to achieve that man, I can't imagine what that would be like.
Changing my life for the better
- Thread starter elephantricity
- Start date
... Man that's incredible... Good on you for being able to achieve that man, I can't imagine what that would be like.
elephantricity
Active Member
Thanks sleepking, yeah quitting heroin was the biggest challenge of my life hands down, but knowing I had the strength to do that, makes this journey of no PMO much more realistic and doable.
Day 13
So kind of some disappointing news. The girl I've been dating said she isn't looking for anything serious. Her reason being that right when we started a month and a half ago, she had just broken up with her BF. We also had sex VERY quickly. She said she likes me but feels like things were moving fast with us and wasnt ready to committ. I told her I still want to hang out with her, and we can slow things down, but the more I think about that, I feel like its going to relegate me to the friend zone, which is NOT something I want with her. She said she is still wants to hang out, but I think I need to put some distance between us until if and when she is willing to start dating again.
Just being on the same page with her helped A LOT emotionally, and I actually feel great today, like a small weight has been lifted. Plus, I think its probably better to not be having sex right now. Knowing where she stands gives me more ambition to start going out with friends and meeting new women and friends. It gives me time to better myself socially, as well as physically with exercise. That way if we ever do get back together down the road, I can be a better person for her and for myself.
Whatever happens, I feel like I have the tools to be happy right now, with previous woman an event like this would crush me emotionally, but I quit porn, I quit drugs, my life is AMAZING right now.
Thank you guys for all the support...
Day 13
So kind of some disappointing news. The girl I've been dating said she isn't looking for anything serious. Her reason being that right when we started a month and a half ago, she had just broken up with her BF. We also had sex VERY quickly. She said she likes me but feels like things were moving fast with us and wasnt ready to committ. I told her I still want to hang out with her, and we can slow things down, but the more I think about that, I feel like its going to relegate me to the friend zone, which is NOT something I want with her. She said she is still wants to hang out, but I think I need to put some distance between us until if and when she is willing to start dating again.
Just being on the same page with her helped A LOT emotionally, and I actually feel great today, like a small weight has been lifted. Plus, I think its probably better to not be having sex right now. Knowing where she stands gives me more ambition to start going out with friends and meeting new women and friends. It gives me time to better myself socially, as well as physically with exercise. That way if we ever do get back together down the road, I can be a better person for her and for myself.
Whatever happens, I feel like I have the tools to be happy right now, with previous woman an event like this would crush me emotionally, but I quit porn, I quit drugs, my life is AMAZING right now.
Thank you guys for all the support...
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 14
Up and down day thus far. Hung out with a friend and played disc golf. I felt so energetic and talkative, definitely felt like I had energy beaming off me. The downside is loneliness and wanting to seek affection. I haven't really felt this strong desire since college. I think a big part of it was quitting porn and dating an amazing girl at the same time. The girl is moving on, and I'm left without that energy release and reciprocation. So not having that has made me have some urges to view P.
But I'm stronger than that. There are so many other women out there, others will I know I can connect better with, and have such a better relationship with. I need to save myself for something bigger and better.
Up and down day thus far. Hung out with a friend and played disc golf. I felt so energetic and talkative, definitely felt like I had energy beaming off me. The downside is loneliness and wanting to seek affection. I haven't really felt this strong desire since college. I think a big part of it was quitting porn and dating an amazing girl at the same time. The girl is moving on, and I'm left without that energy release and reciprocation. So not having that has made me have some urges to view P.
But I'm stronger than that. There are so many other women out there, others will I know I can connect better with, and have such a better relationship with. I need to save myself for something bigger and better.
sleepking69
Member
If it helps at all, I think that not having a release can be a good thing, at least temporarily.
When I was younger, I had a natural energy and zest for life, that I would unfortunately "clip" / "stunt" through PMO. As I got older and kept on PMO'ing, that energy level lowered and lowered, which is probably what led to a lot of issues in my emotional health. I think that through this reboot, my lack of release is allowing my once damaged and overused energy to heal, and slowly return to its normal state (at which point I will try to find a partner/reintroduce MO).
I don't know if the same thing applies to you, but you saying that you feel more "energetic and talkative" might imply that it does. In this case temporarily not having a release could be a good thing! Let me know what you think
elephantricity
Active Member
sleepking69 said:
If it helps at all, I think that not having a release can be a good thing, at least temporarily.
When I was younger, I had a natural energy and zest for life, that I would unfortunately "clip" / "stunt" through PMO. As I got older and kept on PMO'ing, that energy level lowered and lowered, which is probably what led to a lot of issues in my emotional health. I think that through this reboot, my lack of release is allowing my once damaged and overused energy to heal, and slowly return to its normal state (at which point I will try to find a partner/reintroduce MO).
I don't know if the same thing applies to you, but you saying that you feel more "energetic and talkative" might imply that it does. In this case temporarily not having a release could be a good thing! Let me know what you think
Without a doubt man. When I had my relapse, that energy release felt AMAZING, then as I had that chaser effect, it got less, and less, and less intense.. until basically within 2 days, I was back to where I was before I started my first streak.. So I believe my body needs that healing. However, its that companionship that isn't there anymore thats hard to get over. Its getting easier every day though, and I just need to set my sights forward, and not get caught up in the past.
elephantricity
Active Member
DAY 15
Its that thing where your feeling again for the first time in a long time, but you don't wanna feel. Part of 'waking up' from the daily haze of emptying your masculine energy to a virtual reality and not in REAL LIFE, is facing a full spectrum of emotions again. Its not like I didn't experience emotions before, but now they are just amplified by 10. To go from the top of Everest, to bottom of the Mariana trench. I guess this is what its like to feel bipolar. I've never been a very emotional guy, I never strayed far from a baseline, and yet in the past couple months, I've gone in both directions further than I've been.. ever I think.
At least I can acknowledge these emotions and not feel threatened into a full blown relapse. I'm typing on a computer right now, and P is the last thing on my mind. How is that? Because I'm experiencing LIFE again. All the ups and downs, bliss and banal. The ups are ALWAYS worth living for. Always worth carrying on another day for. NEVER GIVE UP GUYS.... EVER
EDIT: hooray for page 2 I guess
Its that thing where your feeling again for the first time in a long time, but you don't wanna feel. Part of 'waking up' from the daily haze of emptying your masculine energy to a virtual reality and not in REAL LIFE, is facing a full spectrum of emotions again. Its not like I didn't experience emotions before, but now they are just amplified by 10. To go from the top of Everest, to bottom of the Mariana trench. I guess this is what its like to feel bipolar. I've never been a very emotional guy, I never strayed far from a baseline, and yet in the past couple months, I've gone in both directions further than I've been.. ever I think.
At least I can acknowledge these emotions and not feel threatened into a full blown relapse. I'm typing on a computer right now, and P is the last thing on my mind. How is that? Because I'm experiencing LIFE again. All the ups and downs, bliss and banal. The ups are ALWAYS worth living for. Always worth carrying on another day for. NEVER GIVE UP GUYS.... EVER
EDIT: hooray for page 2 I guess
elephantricity
Active Member
DAY 19
Just got home from going out with my band mate for drinks after work. I really enjoyed that. Going out and being social can be so beneficial. I wanted to stay out longer because I was meeting people and having a good time, but alas, I have to get up at 5:30AM and I'm a responsible adult now!
Just got home from going out with my band mate for drinks after work. I really enjoyed that. Going out and being social can be so beneficial. I wanted to stay out longer because I was meeting people and having a good time, but alas, I have to get up at 5:30AM and I'm a responsible adult now!
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 26
Little update before work. I had my first ever wet dream last night. Very strange feeling. I never had one during puberty or adolescence. But yeah, I've felt like I've been in somewhat of a flatline since day 3. Even though I've been more outgoing and social, just sexually I'm not feeling all there. I've been doing the bar scene with a band mate of mine and have met several women.. several of them make the offer for me to come over, but I always make the excuse that I have work early in the morning. Its not like I'm anxious about sex, because I'm sure I could perform well (minus the DE), but sex isn't really a top priority for me right now. I told myself I was going to set a high standard for myself for the women I choose to sleep with. Although, holding off on sex with someone I'm into will be beneficial in the long run, should I choose to persue a more serious relationship... Almost on my 2nd day 30.. which will be Christmas.. I know I will be surpassing it by a mile.
Little update before work. I had my first ever wet dream last night. Very strange feeling. I never had one during puberty or adolescence. But yeah, I've felt like I've been in somewhat of a flatline since day 3. Even though I've been more outgoing and social, just sexually I'm not feeling all there. I've been doing the bar scene with a band mate of mine and have met several women.. several of them make the offer for me to come over, but I always make the excuse that I have work early in the morning. Its not like I'm anxious about sex, because I'm sure I could perform well (minus the DE), but sex isn't really a top priority for me right now. I told myself I was going to set a high standard for myself for the women I choose to sleep with. Although, holding off on sex with someone I'm into will be beneficial in the long run, should I choose to persue a more serious relationship... Almost on my 2nd day 30.. which will be Christmas.. I know I will be surpassing it by a mile.
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 2.
Well I've been struggling lately with P. Probably because I haven't been active on these forums, who knows. But yeah, my mood has been terrible, compared to how I was feeling 3 months ago. I was literally buzzing off life, dating a killer girl, quitting P, then it kind of all came crashing down pretty quick once I started back with porn and stopped seeing that girl. Made me know how it feels to be bi-polar. Not fun.. So I'm back at it again with getting my shit back in order. I also picked up smoking cigs again, which I hate. The worst part of addiction is, telling yourself your going to stop, hundreds of times, and then in the next instant, your primal brain comes up with some stupid reason to view P, and your rational mind goes out the window. I consider myself somewhat intelligent, and to have your mode of reasoning just hijacked by the disease of addiction is very disheartening. Well, I got 1 day under my belt again, which was a challenge in itself, but I needed to get started again somewhere..
Well I've been struggling lately with P. Probably because I haven't been active on these forums, who knows. But yeah, my mood has been terrible, compared to how I was feeling 3 months ago. I was literally buzzing off life, dating a killer girl, quitting P, then it kind of all came crashing down pretty quick once I started back with porn and stopped seeing that girl. Made me know how it feels to be bi-polar. Not fun.. So I'm back at it again with getting my shit back in order. I also picked up smoking cigs again, which I hate. The worst part of addiction is, telling yourself your going to stop, hundreds of times, and then in the next instant, your primal brain comes up with some stupid reason to view P, and your rational mind goes out the window. I consider myself somewhat intelligent, and to have your mode of reasoning just hijacked by the disease of addiction is very disheartening. Well, I got 1 day under my belt again, which was a challenge in itself, but I needed to get started again somewhere..
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 4
I swear, just getting a few days of no PMO really helps to elevate my mood and motivation. It proves to me how destructive P is for myself. I recently quit my office job because it was sucking my soul and I couldn't take it. Thankfully, money hasn't been an issue for me, but the free time probably contributed to my multiple relapses. I need to use the free time I have an really be more productive.
I swear, just getting a few days of no PMO really helps to elevate my mood and motivation. It proves to me how destructive P is for myself. I recently quit my office job because it was sucking my soul and I couldn't take it. Thankfully, money hasn't been an issue for me, but the free time probably contributed to my multiple relapses. I need to use the free time I have an really be more productive.
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 6
Well today I experienced the 'super powers' that come from the 'no fap' mindset. I swear, not having porn in your life really allows you to observe and be more present in the world. I was getting a banana shake at Coldstone, and in line, there was a really cute Indian girl behind me. I turn around and she is looking at me and smiles. I would swear this hasn't happened to me at all when I'm viewing porn on the regular. Its like girls can just sense something about you when you are living a healthy productive life. So noticing she is alone, and tell her "You can't just do that and not say hello" She immediately smiles and gets a little nervous which was cute. I proceed to ask her what a gorgeous girl like her is doing alone at coldstone, and we chat for a minute, and since I didn't have anywhere to be, I asked her if she wanted to sit down with me. So I basically got an instant date, and I definitely attribute that to kicking porn out of my life and not M'ing. Got her number, and I plan on hanging out with her again next week. Like I said, these kind of things just never happened to me when I was PMO'ing, or maybe its that I was just so in my own head that I didn't care to notice these signals from women.
Guys, having a life free of PMO allows you to take life by the horns. You will just have an energy about you, and people DO notice it.
Well today I experienced the 'super powers' that come from the 'no fap' mindset. I swear, not having porn in your life really allows you to observe and be more present in the world. I was getting a banana shake at Coldstone, and in line, there was a really cute Indian girl behind me. I turn around and she is looking at me and smiles. I would swear this hasn't happened to me at all when I'm viewing porn on the regular. Its like girls can just sense something about you when you are living a healthy productive life. So noticing she is alone, and tell her "You can't just do that and not say hello" She immediately smiles and gets a little nervous which was cute. I proceed to ask her what a gorgeous girl like her is doing alone at coldstone, and we chat for a minute, and since I didn't have anywhere to be, I asked her if she wanted to sit down with me. So I basically got an instant date, and I definitely attribute that to kicking porn out of my life and not M'ing. Got her number, and I plan on hanging out with her again next week. Like I said, these kind of things just never happened to me when I was PMO'ing, or maybe its that I was just so in my own head that I didn't care to notice these signals from women.
Guys, having a life free of PMO allows you to take life by the horns. You will just have an energy about you, and people DO notice it.
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 15
Just posting here to keep track of my days clean. My mood has been definitely improved. Just more positive energy. Definitely had the urge to view P last night. The trick is just not dwelling on those thoughts when they come up. Something I've been thinking about is the whole flatline and loss of libido thing.
I'm never sure if I'm in a flatline. I mean, when I see an attractive woman, I definitely still feel that sexual attraction within me, although maybe its whether the arousal being present or not that dictates whether or not I'm in a flatline. The obvious physical symptom would be the shriveled penis. That seems to come and go. But whether or not I have that symptom, I'm still sexually attracted to women. I don't think that EVER goes away for me. So its hard to say whether or not my libido is affected.
Just posting here to keep track of my days clean. My mood has been definitely improved. Just more positive energy. Definitely had the urge to view P last night. The trick is just not dwelling on those thoughts when they come up. Something I've been thinking about is the whole flatline and loss of libido thing.
I'm never sure if I'm in a flatline. I mean, when I see an attractive woman, I definitely still feel that sexual attraction within me, although maybe its whether the arousal being present or not that dictates whether or not I'm in a flatline. The obvious physical symptom would be the shriveled penis. That seems to come and go. But whether or not I have that symptom, I'm still sexually attracted to women. I don't think that EVER goes away for me. So its hard to say whether or not my libido is affected.
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 20
Been getting some strong urges, but it feels rewarding when you fight them off.
Been getting some strong urges, but it feels rewarding when you fight them off.
elephantricity
Active Member
DAY 1
Damn, so okay, been struggling a lot the past couple of months. I need to get pornography out of my life, when I think back a little less than a year ago when I started this journey I had a REALLY good start. I think a big part of that was having a girlfriend at the time, so porn was just not appealing or even compared to the natural high I was getting off being with that girl. When that ended, I didn't dive straight back into P, it was more of a slow process. Add into that the fact that I've recently gotten off a medication I was prescribed 7 years ago, and my natural endorphin/dopamine production has essentially stop producing those feel good chemicals and I'm in a pretty sour and depressed mood. Thanks to neural plasticity however, my brain will recover from not having that medication I was prescribed any longer, but I just need to ride it out. Could take a few months. I'm pretty much thinking of it in the same terms as a reboot. For those curious, the medication was similar to methadone, something they give opiate addicts to get them off illegal narcotic street drugs. Essentially drug replacement. I was glad for it, because it gave me 7 years to reconnect with family, get financially stable and reconnect with good friends. But after that long of a time, struggling with P, and feeling like the medicine was doing more harm than good compared to the first several years, it was time to get off.
The depressive mood getting off my medication has put me into has made sliding back into P more tempting. However, I have so many reasons to stop. For one thing, when I get a couple weeks free of PMO, I'm much more social. Its only when I'm in a social mood that I can attract women, and when I'm in some sort of relationship wit a woman, porn is less appealing and even easy to completely ignore. So one thing snowballs into the other and my life improves. The past month or so I've only been able to string 2-3 days before relapsing. But I'm not giving up to this addiction, I've beaten other addictions, I can beat this one.
Damn, so okay, been struggling a lot the past couple of months. I need to get pornography out of my life, when I think back a little less than a year ago when I started this journey I had a REALLY good start. I think a big part of that was having a girlfriend at the time, so porn was just not appealing or even compared to the natural high I was getting off being with that girl. When that ended, I didn't dive straight back into P, it was more of a slow process. Add into that the fact that I've recently gotten off a medication I was prescribed 7 years ago, and my natural endorphin/dopamine production has essentially stop producing those feel good chemicals and I'm in a pretty sour and depressed mood. Thanks to neural plasticity however, my brain will recover from not having that medication I was prescribed any longer, but I just need to ride it out. Could take a few months. I'm pretty much thinking of it in the same terms as a reboot. For those curious, the medication was similar to methadone, something they give opiate addicts to get them off illegal narcotic street drugs. Essentially drug replacement. I was glad for it, because it gave me 7 years to reconnect with family, get financially stable and reconnect with good friends. But after that long of a time, struggling with P, and feeling like the medicine was doing more harm than good compared to the first several years, it was time to get off.
The depressive mood getting off my medication has put me into has made sliding back into P more tempting. However, I have so many reasons to stop. For one thing, when I get a couple weeks free of PMO, I'm much more social. Its only when I'm in a social mood that I can attract women, and when I'm in some sort of relationship wit a woman, porn is less appealing and even easy to completely ignore. So one thing snowballs into the other and my life improves. The past month or so I've only been able to string 2-3 days before relapsing. But I'm not giving up to this addiction, I've beaten other addictions, I can beat this one.
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 5
Really proud of just getting past 3 days.. its easily been over a month or more since I've had more than 3 days. The past 2 weeks have been really good though. Exercising regularly, going out on the weekends and hitting on girls with some friends. Today was the first day of having a real urge to PMO in these 5 days. It hits me like a ton of bricks, but thankfully, it only lasts maybe 10-30 seconds. Once I get overcome the urge, the desire pretty much floats away. Not the same as drug addiction, as that presents more physical symptoms, of which I have experienced. So getting over a PMO urge is in a sense easier.. It just hits you in the face harder for a short amount of time. I think my strategy really just needs to be having a plan in face for when I get that horny smack in the face.
Really proud of just getting past 3 days.. its easily been over a month or more since I've had more than 3 days. The past 2 weeks have been really good though. Exercising regularly, going out on the weekends and hitting on girls with some friends. Today was the first day of having a real urge to PMO in these 5 days. It hits me like a ton of bricks, but thankfully, it only lasts maybe 10-30 seconds. Once I get overcome the urge, the desire pretty much floats away. Not the same as drug addiction, as that presents more physical symptoms, of which I have experienced. So getting over a PMO urge is in a sense easier.. It just hits you in the face harder for a short amount of time. I think my strategy really just needs to be having a plan in face for when I get that horny smack in the face.
elephantricity
Active Member
DAY 7
Wow, first week in awhile. Was close to relapsing yesterday, but thankfully, the desire was short lived, though intense.
Wow, first week in awhile. Was close to relapsing yesterday, but thankfully, the desire was short lived, though intense.
elephantricity
Active Member
DAY 11
So doing really well in terms of urges. I had one yesterday, but got through it by just calming myself. Been going out a bunch recently. I've gotten to third base with 2 girls the past week, with the intention of not taking it further. But I honestly felt myself pretty turned on. Like it felt like I would have been ready for sex, but the last time I had sex, I thought the same thing, and lost my erection pretty quickly. So I'm definitely not rushing into sex, but I'm not afraid of escalating on a girl if I'm really into her.
My new band has our first show tonight, so that will definitely be fun.
So doing really well in terms of urges. I had one yesterday, but got through it by just calming myself. Been going out a bunch recently. I've gotten to third base with 2 girls the past week, with the intention of not taking it further. But I honestly felt myself pretty turned on. Like it felt like I would have been ready for sex, but the last time I had sex, I thought the same thing, and lost my erection pretty quickly. So I'm definitely not rushing into sex, but I'm not afraid of escalating on a girl if I'm really into her.
My new band has our first show tonight, so that will definitely be fun.
elephantricity
Active Member
Day 1
Triggers ahead
Yeah so things were going great. Been hanging out with this girl. I was on day 12 and played a gig with my band and went bar hoping and this new girl I met came to hang out. Later in the night we are making out, I'm fingering her and getting turned on. She proceeds to give me head and says "wow your pretty big", (I'm just average size but it made me feel good to hear her say that lol) and I felt like I would have been ready to go for sex, but we decided not to because for one thing.. we were in my freaking CAR! lol. I wasn't dissapointed or anything in not 'going for it' because sex isn't a massive priority for me.. mainly just meeting new women, and I've found my better relationships were when me and the girl waited to have sex. Anyways, the next day, I don't know what happened but I relapsed. 4 times in one day. Then I relapsed once yesterday. So its been about 24 hours since I last PMO'd and let me tell you. That 2nd day, I was just WIPED of energy. I think I took like a 3 hour nap, already after getting over 9 hours of sleep. It just completely zombified me. Whats true without a doubt though are the benefits I was getting before my relapse. So I'm reaching back up to that. Plus, I've gotten some of my friends to take up NoFap. We should all make a bet out of it to stay motivated. Even though I don't need that because there is LEAGUES of motivation for me to no watching porn any more. I'm getting better at this...In the beginning of this journey, I was hoping I could kick P in one go, but when I think about my past with my other addictions, it was a slow and long process, but I've always prevailed over my other addictions. Drugs, soda, fast food etc. So for me, P is the 'last great frontier.' If my past history is any indication.. I WILL BEAT THIS!
Triggers ahead
Yeah so things were going great. Been hanging out with this girl. I was on day 12 and played a gig with my band and went bar hoping and this new girl I met came to hang out. Later in the night we are making out, I'm fingering her and getting turned on. She proceeds to give me head and says "wow your pretty big", (I'm just average size but it made me feel good to hear her say that lol) and I felt like I would have been ready to go for sex, but we decided not to because for one thing.. we were in my freaking CAR! lol. I wasn't dissapointed or anything in not 'going for it' because sex isn't a massive priority for me.. mainly just meeting new women, and I've found my better relationships were when me and the girl waited to have sex. Anyways, the next day, I don't know what happened but I relapsed. 4 times in one day. Then I relapsed once yesterday. So its been about 24 hours since I last PMO'd and let me tell you. That 2nd day, I was just WIPED of energy. I think I took like a 3 hour nap, already after getting over 9 hours of sleep. It just completely zombified me. Whats true without a doubt though are the benefits I was getting before my relapse. So I'm reaching back up to that. Plus, I've gotten some of my friends to take up NoFap. We should all make a bet out of it to stay motivated. Even though I don't need that because there is LEAGUES of motivation for me to no watching porn any more. I'm getting better at this...In the beginning of this journey, I was hoping I could kick P in one go, but when I think about my past with my other addictions, it was a slow and long process, but I've always prevailed over my other addictions. Drugs, soda, fast food etc. So for me, P is the 'last great frontier.' If my past history is any indication.. I WILL BEAT THIS!
elephantricity
Active Member
DAY 2 -- CURED?!
Triggers ahead
Okay wow, I'm hesitant to say I'm cured, because it came out of nowhere, and I was only on day 2. But from self diagnosing myself as having DE, I, for the first time in my 29 years of life, came during PIV sex, and WITH A CONDOM no less! I've also slept with around 20 girls up until now. I was honestly shocked and didn't even expect it to happen. Though I've relapsed a handful of times during the start of the journey, I was able to reduce my frequency of viewing porn DRASTICALLY for the first time in 10 years, and I think that alone helped immensely in allowing my brain to partially rewire. The first round of sex with this girl I didn't cum and actually 'faked' an orgasm.. even though I know I could keep going. She said she was like 3 seconds from O'ing herself, so we went for round 2 like 10 minutes later. Well low and behold, it happened. I had to fuck her pretty hard, but it happened.. It was blissful. I'm even more committed now to staying off P forever, as I've tasted the fruits of success. Through the relapses, I honestly thought I might never be able to O with an actual person, but it happened. I feel like I'm fucking 18 years old again. It was strange, because the sex 'felt' like all the other times. I wasn't getting tons of sensations and feeling slightly numb, but when I ramped up the tempo, I was able to O.
Its also strange I'm writing this massive success story on my 100th post. Weird.
Triggers ahead
Okay wow, I'm hesitant to say I'm cured, because it came out of nowhere, and I was only on day 2. But from self diagnosing myself as having DE, I, for the first time in my 29 years of life, came during PIV sex, and WITH A CONDOM no less! I've also slept with around 20 girls up until now. I was honestly shocked and didn't even expect it to happen. Though I've relapsed a handful of times during the start of the journey, I was able to reduce my frequency of viewing porn DRASTICALLY for the first time in 10 years, and I think that alone helped immensely in allowing my brain to partially rewire. The first round of sex with this girl I didn't cum and actually 'faked' an orgasm.. even though I know I could keep going. She said she was like 3 seconds from O'ing herself, so we went for round 2 like 10 minutes later. Well low and behold, it happened. I had to fuck her pretty hard, but it happened.. It was blissful. I'm even more committed now to staying off P forever, as I've tasted the fruits of success. Through the relapses, I honestly thought I might never be able to O with an actual person, but it happened. I feel like I'm fucking 18 years old again. It was strange, because the sex 'felt' like all the other times. I wasn't getting tons of sensations and feeling slightly numb, but when I ramped up the tempo, I was able to O.
Its also strange I'm writing this massive success story on my 100th post. Weird.