chat-addict
Member
Hi.
I just had an expericence, that made me wonder.....
I am on day 16 in what I consider to be my last reboot ever.
I know from previous attempts that if I?d relapse right now, my muscles would tremble and shake at the moment I fired up the incognito web-browser.... I?ve been there, done that.. I know how it feels..
But tonight I played ?hearts? (a card game) with my wife and two children. Of course just as a family activity - and obviously no money involved. I?ve never gambled with money involved and I?ve never bought a lottery coupon, and I feel no desire at all to do neither. But playing regular games with my loving family is something that we all enjoy...
But tonight, I managed to ?hit the jackpot? while playing hearts with my family. Thus, I collected all the valuable cards, meaning I won big time over them. If I?d miss just one of the valuable cards I would have lost big time. So either I would win big time or lose big time. But I won. And when it was clear that I could not lose the game, I felt the well-known trembling all in my body - which probably means that a lot of dopamine was released.... It?s kind of silly, though. All I won was some fictive points on a piece of paper and the right to laugh at my wonderful family. In no way it should be anything close to how it would be to relapse to the addiction I?m escaping from.
Is this bad during a reboot? I was really frightened.... On one side, I realise that dopamine was released, but on the other hand... If I can?t play an innocent card game with my family.....
What do you all think about this??
I just had an expericence, that made me wonder.....
I am on day 16 in what I consider to be my last reboot ever.
I know from previous attempts that if I?d relapse right now, my muscles would tremble and shake at the moment I fired up the incognito web-browser.... I?ve been there, done that.. I know how it feels..
But tonight I played ?hearts? (a card game) with my wife and two children. Of course just as a family activity - and obviously no money involved. I?ve never gambled with money involved and I?ve never bought a lottery coupon, and I feel no desire at all to do neither. But playing regular games with my loving family is something that we all enjoy...
But tonight, I managed to ?hit the jackpot? while playing hearts with my family. Thus, I collected all the valuable cards, meaning I won big time over them. If I?d miss just one of the valuable cards I would have lost big time. So either I would win big time or lose big time. But I won. And when it was clear that I could not lose the game, I felt the well-known trembling all in my body - which probably means that a lot of dopamine was released.... It?s kind of silly, though. All I won was some fictive points on a piece of paper and the right to laugh at my wonderful family. In no way it should be anything close to how it would be to relapse to the addiction I?m escaping from.
Is this bad during a reboot? I was really frightened.... On one side, I realise that dopamine was released, but on the other hand... If I can?t play an innocent card game with my family.....
What do you all think about this??