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Looking for some advice
- Thread starter Whynot
- Start date
JedClampett
Active Member
Papa:
What do you consider porn? To me P is anything that causes erotic behavior.
So that could be a girl in a bikini. Perhaps I am wrong, I would love to have the opinions
of others. However even if it's not true the a bikini is P, that is where it starts for me on IT
What do you consider porn? To me P is anything that causes erotic behavior.
So that could be a girl in a bikini. Perhaps I am wrong, I would love to have the opinions
of others. However even if it's not true the a bikini is P, that is where it starts for me on IT
I consider porn being the naked women on screens and all that other stuff that goes along with it, I don?t want to get into details due to triggers, I think women in bikinis on a screen would be considered moderate porn and it would definitely lead you to porn so I would just try to stay away from that as well
T
Totte
Guest
papa said:I consider porn being the naked women on screens and all that other stuff that goes along with it, I don?t want to get into details due to triggers, I think women in bikinis on a screen would be considered moderate porn and it would definitely lead you to porn so I would just try to stay away from that as well
Interesting!
How would it be if i see a movie on TV and there are sex scene or the like?
Well it can be a triger but can it hurt the progress? (if you don't fall in to the trap)
T
D
Deadcat
Guest
Papa, I am similar. I am only 88 days into my journey w/o porn. I have used PMO long enough that I too was PMOing while not erect. I now have a severe problem with PE when having sex with my wife. Besides my porn use, I have never cheated on my wife so I can't speak to that. I can usually get erect while MOing. I do not prescribe to hardmode (which could be why my recovery is slow). I believe this site specifically (according to Gabe's video's I've watched) is not against MOing. In fact, a video I watched yesterday on TEDx talked about many benefits of masterbating. I think our problem is related to masterbating to porn. I also believe during recovery, masterbating at all confuses our brains and slows healing. But after healed, I don't believe masterbation is a problem, in fact, it's natural and probably healthy. However, instead of turning on your laptop or an erotic video, you should simply be able to take a long hot shower and take care of yourself. It's that extra added stimuli that we see to need that causes the problems in our brains and creates issues when in situations with real women. That at least is my problem. I've PMOed so much that now my super attractive wife doesn't create the natural physical responses that it should in my brain/body. That's why I'm not watching porn. I'm hoping that this reboot wakes up my brain/body so that the mere sight of my wife is all I need for a good evening for the both of us.
I think Gabe says in a video that the average man should be able to stimulate his penus with simply the touch of his hand. For those of us who have been PMOing for years, that doesn't happen. And if you've been doing it so long that you've been PMOing or MOing while soft, you've likely been doing it far too long (my case).
Back when I thought my technique was wrong, I watched videos and read up on masterbating. I have read that to last longer you can practice starting, getting erect, then stopping. It says to repeat that several times. This action retrains your brain to last longer. It's not worked for me but that's because I haven't healed from my PIED yet. If I still PE after I'm healed, I might try that. Some sites say to do this without Oing. I believe the theory is that your brain needs to learn that getting erect doesn't mean that it's time O. Currently due to guilt, many of us rebooters are used to PMOing as quickly as we can so as not to get caught. This was harmful and created problems. Not we have to retrain our brains that MOing and having sex takes longer. The video on TEDx on masterbation and other sites I've visited talks about setting aside a good 20 minutes or longer to masterbate so as not to create the PE problem.
WARNING: If you plan to search out the TEDx video on masterbation, the woman teaching is attractive. If that's a trigger, don't watch it. Gary Wilson's video on PIED is on TEDx. There are several other good ones as well. I watched one by a church pastor with a problem with porn. It was pretty good and let's you know that even the best of us have this problem. We shouldn't feel so bad that we fell into the trap when someone like a church pastor has as well. But that said, this is a sickness and we all need healing. While I'm not necessarily against porn, I don't believe anything positive comes from it. This is an industry that I would not mind seeing fail. But since there our millions out there just like us, I don't think it every will. I just pray I can teach my children not to fall into the same porn trap that I did.
I think Gabe says in a video that the average man should be able to stimulate his penus with simply the touch of his hand. For those of us who have been PMOing for years, that doesn't happen. And if you've been doing it so long that you've been PMOing or MOing while soft, you've likely been doing it far too long (my case).
Back when I thought my technique was wrong, I watched videos and read up on masterbating. I have read that to last longer you can practice starting, getting erect, then stopping. It says to repeat that several times. This action retrains your brain to last longer. It's not worked for me but that's because I haven't healed from my PIED yet. If I still PE after I'm healed, I might try that. Some sites say to do this without Oing. I believe the theory is that your brain needs to learn that getting erect doesn't mean that it's time O. Currently due to guilt, many of us rebooters are used to PMOing as quickly as we can so as not to get caught. This was harmful and created problems. Not we have to retrain our brains that MOing and having sex takes longer. The video on TEDx on masterbation and other sites I've visited talks about setting aside a good 20 minutes or longer to masterbate so as not to create the PE problem.
WARNING: If you plan to search out the TEDx video on masterbation, the woman teaching is attractive. If that's a trigger, don't watch it. Gary Wilson's video on PIED is on TEDx. There are several other good ones as well. I watched one by a church pastor with a problem with porn. It was pretty good and let's you know that even the best of us have this problem. We shouldn't feel so bad that we fell into the trap when someone like a church pastor has as well. But that said, this is a sickness and we all need healing. While I'm not necessarily against porn, I don't believe anything positive comes from it. This is an industry that I would not mind seeing fail. But since there our millions out there just like us, I don't think it every will. I just pray I can teach my children not to fall into the same porn trap that I did.
Hey deadcat those are great words and advice I really do appreciate your message. My problem is not that I M with no erection, I wake up every morning with a woody, the problem that I had was that it was about 130 days of no PMO and then when my wife touched me down there it didn?t take long at all to O and I was not fully erect. If possible can you send me the links of those videos you had suggested to watch? You can PM me if you like.
JedClampett
Active Member
Is there such a thing as precum? One of my old girlfriends got wet when we were making out.
I freaked and told her I did not want to have intercourse because of HIV infection.
Needless to say that was the end of that relationship.
Do men and women have precum?
By the way I am 60 and am a virgin!
I freaked and told her I did not want to have intercourse because of HIV infection.
Needless to say that was the end of that relationship.
Do men and women have precum?
By the way I am 60 and am a virgin!
misc person 86
Active Member
JedClampett said:Is there such a thing as precum? One of my old girlfriends got wet when we were making out.
I freaked and told her I did not want to have intercourse because of HIV infection.
Needless to say that was the end of that relationship.
Do men and women have precum?
By the way I am 60 and am a virgin!
Men release precum, womens vaginas lubricate when they become aroused, don't think it's called pre cum though.
The precum in men is enough to make a woman pregnant.
HIV is transferred through blood, not pre cum.
T
Totte
Guest
Deadcat said:Papa, I am similar. I am only 88 days into my journey w/o porn. I have used PMO long enough that I too was PMOing while not erect. I now have a severe problem with PE when having sex with my wife. Besides my porn use, I have never cheated on my wife so I can't speak to that. I can usually get erect while MOing. I do not prescribe to hardmode (which could be why my recovery is slow). I believe this site specifically (according to Gabe's video's I've watched) is not against MOing. In fact, a video I watched yesterday on TEDx talked about many benefits of masterbating. I think our problem is related to masterbating to porn. I also believe during recovery, masterbating at all confuses our brains and slows healing. But after healed, I don't believe masterbation is a problem, in fact, it's natural and probably healthy. However, instead of turning on your laptop or an erotic video, you should simply be able to take a long hot shower and take care of yourself. It's that extra added stimuli that we see to need that causes the problems in our brains and creates issues when in situations with real women. That at least is my problem. I've PMOed so much that now my super attractive wife doesn't create the natural physical responses that it should in my brain/body. That's why I'm not watching porn. I'm hoping that this reboot wakes up my brain/body so that the mere sight of my wife is all I need for a good evening for the both of us.
I think Gabe says in a video that the average man should be able to stimulate his penus with simply the touch of his hand. For those of us who have been PMOing for years, that doesn't happen. And if you've been doing it so long that you've been PMOing or MOing while soft, you've likely been doing it far too long (my case).
Back when I thought my technique was wrong, I watched videos and read up on masterbating. I have read that to last longer you can practice starting, getting erect, then stopping. It says to repeat that several times. This action retrains your brain to last longer. It's not worked for me but that's because I haven't healed from my PIED yet. If I still PE after I'm healed, I might try that. Some sites say to do this without Oing. I believe the theory is that your brain needs to learn that getting erect doesn't mean that it's time O. Currently due to guilt, many of us rebooters are used to PMOing as quickly as we can so as not to get caught. This was harmful and created problems. Not we have to retrain our brains that MOing and having sex takes longer. The video on TEDx on masterbation and other sites I've visited talks about setting aside a good 20 minutes or longer to masterbate so as not to create the PE problem.
WARNING: If you plan to search out the TEDx video on masterbation, the woman teaching is attractive. If that's a trigger, don't watch it. Gary Wilson's video on PIED is on TEDx. There are several other good ones as well. I watched one by a church pastor with a problem with porn. It was pretty good and let's you know that even the best of us have this problem. We shouldn't feel so bad that we fell into the trap when someone like a church pastor has as well. But that said, this is a sickness and we all need healing. While I'm not necessarily against porn, I don't believe anything positive comes from it. This is an industry that I would not mind seeing fail. But since there our millions out there just like us, I don't think it every will. I just pray I can teach my children not to fall into the same porn trap that I did.
Hello thanks for Charing can you post the links to the TEDx videos?
Please
T
JedClampett
Active Member
Si:
Thank you for the information about precum. I think I have experienced this through PMO. Then after another hour
of PMO I might get an O. Does this sound normal?
I know though that I must give up PMO because it's not normal sex. It's only fantasy.
Women do not look like that, act like that, and etc. (Although during PMO I tell myself they do.)
I appreciate your help because I am struggling to give this up again.
Thank you for the information about precum. I think I have experienced this through PMO. Then after another hour
of PMO I might get an O. Does this sound normal?
I know though that I must give up PMO because it's not normal sex. It's only fantasy.
Women do not look like that, act like that, and etc. (Although during PMO I tell myself they do.)
I appreciate your help because I am struggling to give this up again.
D
Deadcat
Guest
I posted links to these videos in my journal (Over 40 - Deadcat's Journal). If you wish, feel free to go check them out.