my 1st week....

Karzam

Karzam

Active Member
Aye, good work Ralenty - I really do think it's a process of being aware of the urges, and also why they might be there. As a point of reference, you may wish to block those Whatsapp contacts, or at least ask those people not to send them (if they're friends)...I can't think of anything more likely to derail the whole process.

Karzam
 
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ralenty

Member
Day 43: or should I say day 1?  Yes I?m sorry to report here that shit happened this weekend. Not that I fell into routines/practices that I was immersed in before, but I clearly violated some principles and rules that I imposed to myself at the beginning of this journey. I spent around 2 hours yesterday looking at porn. I avoided masturbation but I could not avoid surfing the net...

The way I feel today is really bad.

I am determined to analyze what happened and take steps so that it does not happen again. Surely it has to do with some situation that is stressing me these days as well as, no doubt, with an excess of confidence in my progress.

One thing is for sure: I will think calmly and I will come back here to continue the fight. A lesson that I have learned already and I will not forget is that there cannot be a single day in a looooong period of time in which I do not spend some time working on this fight, either coming to this forum, meditating or reading about it. I hope I come out  reinforced from this episode but I don?t know....... Now I feel low and really disapointed with myself.

I wanna thank you all for your last comments of support (ClaudeBolling, Karzam, mousemat1)....I need to make peace with myself but first I wanted to make peace with you....thanks

 
ClaudeBolling

ClaudeBolling

Member
If I may ask, what led you to go and sit in front of the PC or laptop. I find it best over weekends to stay away from devices that link to the net as much as possible. If I must, I do it with someone or on someone elses pc, then there is no way I can drift
 
D

Deadcat

Guest
Congrats Ralenty on your Reboot.  I think you have the right mindset and I do believe rebooting can only help your relationship with your partner.  I'm on day 84 and I've seen tremendous improvements in my relationship, although I am far from fully healed. 

In regards to your relapse, I would not worry about it.  We are all allowed to fail but that doesn't mean you should quit.  Keep going.  I don't believe in restarting your counter either.  Every day you choose to give up porn should be counted and we should take pride in this choice.

We sound similar.  Keep up the fight.  I have hope that healing awaits.  If you've watched the videos (and you should), it took Gabe and others 6 months to a year before they found healing.  This just means we need to fight longer before we get our payoff.  I'm ready to feel what life without porn feels like and how much better my life with my wife can be!  Best of luck!
 
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ralenty

Member
Day 1: I do not feel very communicative about the shit I'm in. In short, It?s been a month of ups and downs that maybe was not as bad as in previous times but it has to end. I just want to go back to the fight with everything I got. Peace brothers (thanks deadcat...)
 
R

ralenty

Member
Day 2: Learning about meditation. It?s a great thing that needs to be taken seriously I think. I still cannot understand how I did not notice the relevance that meditation really has....peace
 
R

ralenty

Member
Day 3: sunny day so a bit of good mood in the air...still feeling insecure on my strength but working on that.....peace
 
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ralenty

Member
Day 4: I started today to practice meditation in the mornings. I get up a little earlier and take a few minutes to concentrate on my breathing. I do not last long because I am get easily distracted  but I think it's worth it. I feel that I started my day  calmer and with a firm footing. I hope I can make this a routine. Peace
 
R

ralenty

Member
Day 5: Looooong road ahead.....I have the feeling that I still have a lot to do to become the person I wanna be, and that is where I am focusing right now so I am trying to build new habits ...... I hope that the efforts I make are not temporary but remain .....peace
 
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