mousemat1
Well-Known Member
Week 35, day 243.
The last 3 days have been absolutely shit! In fact, they've been shitter than shit!
I've had porn cravings as severe as I had in week one. I'm crawling out of my fucking skin here! It's as though the cravings had just been hiding in the shadows and as soon as my attention was distracted they came slithering out. The cravings are manifesting themselves as an actual physical force which is increasing the pressure inside my head. I'm about ready to explode. I keep catching myself fantasising about a fetish which I know to be porn induced because I didn't have it 5 years ago. I'm not having porn flashbacks because I've forgotten most of the porn scenes I've seen, but the fantasising about situations I would like to be in is driving me mad!
Fortunately, I haven't relapsed. I haven't looked at porn. I don't understand how I've ended up fighting this battle like it's day one again!
Sorry for the rant, but I just needed to write shit down to give myself some perspective and hopefully it will help anyone else who find themselves in the same boat.
The last 3 days have been absolutely shit! In fact, they've been shitter than shit!
I've had porn cravings as severe as I had in week one. I'm crawling out of my fucking skin here! It's as though the cravings had just been hiding in the shadows and as soon as my attention was distracted they came slithering out. The cravings are manifesting themselves as an actual physical force which is increasing the pressure inside my head. I'm about ready to explode. I keep catching myself fantasising about a fetish which I know to be porn induced because I didn't have it 5 years ago. I'm not having porn flashbacks because I've forgotten most of the porn scenes I've seen, but the fantasising about situations I would like to be in is driving me mad!
Fortunately, I haven't relapsed. I haven't looked at porn. I don't understand how I've ended up fighting this battle like it's day one again!
Sorry for the rant, but I just needed to write shit down to give myself some perspective and hopefully it will help anyone else who find themselves in the same boat.