40 YO, never married, addicted to porn since 14.

[Havetodothis40]

This weekend I tried to have sex.  I went soft after only a little bit.  I was a bit dissapointed.  I couldn't really feel anything.  I think this was due to the death grip issue.

As I think about it, this really shows I am making progress. I started out not even being able to get hard when with a girl. I am just focusing on the positive. 

I feel great overall.

 

[lyon03]

Congratulations brother! I agree the real thing is much better than PMO-sex. Well done.

 

[Havetodothis40]

32 days.  Wow, I feel great about that.  Right now everything seems to be coming together well in my life.  I'm with a girl that is understanding and seems to be really interested in working with me on this issue. 

I really feel like I have a great chance of beating this and turning my life into what it should have been a long long time ago.

Be awesome!

 

[lyon03]

Keep going brother! May the force (and forceful wood) be with you.

 

[PMOVictory]

HTDT

I'm happy for you that you are doing so great, It's been quite a bumpy road!
But things are changing for the better now!

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!

PS Congratz on 33 days! 8)

 

[Havetodothis40]

Thanks PMOVictory!

It has been a bumpy road.  But sometimes those bumps are needed.  Even though I am doing well, I did have some urges to look at P today.  I shut them down.  But the fact that they are still creeping in, is proof I have to keep diligent.  I can not just run on autopilot.

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi HTDT

One of the most dangerous things you can do is to think that you have gained control and then start to run on auto pilot.
You must remember you on 30+ days trying to break an addiction that are so strong. On top of it all it took many decades to build those neuropathways that are like highways leading to PMO.

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!

 

[Havetodothis40]

I am still doing well.  No setbacks.  I feel great.  A lot of good things are happening for me.

I agree PMOV,  Autopilot is a dangerous thing. 

Be awesome everyone!

 

[savingmysoul]

Keep hanging tough -
Know where you want to go, don't forget where you have been.

you will be fine.

find your strength

 

[Havetodothis40]

Wow, I just realized my 90 day mark will be Valentines day.

I have been spending nights with the girl and usually we just make out and some heavy petting.  It's awesome.  Last night I performed oral on her, and she enjoyed it a lot.  Later I woke up with night wood and she returned the favor.  It was the most intense O, I have ever had.  My mind is blown.  On one hand I am extremely happy that I had this experience and she was the reason for it.  On the other I think about all the amazing times I missed because I was addicted to PMO for so long.

Either way, I am moving on and in a really good spot.  I am in a good relationship, and I am seeing improvements with my PIED.  I really feel it's just a matter of time.  I have to remain diligent.

Be awesome

 

[PMOVictory]

HTDT

Glad that things are working out for you!
As you know I've been following you from the beginning or you posting here.
You have came a long way and this is just awesome!
Stay strong and receive the Blessings!

 

[Havetodothis40]

Wow, 43 days,  I feel really good about my progress.

At my GF's request I got Viagra. And I finally had sex with her twice.  It was great and she is really patient.  I came way too quickly. I attribute that to not having real sex in such a long long time (over 10 years). 

The Viagra worked and I do plan on using it as a crutch until I can maintain an erection with out the pills. 

This is great progress for me, and I think it will help with the rewiring part of this journey.

Continue to be awesome.

 

[Havetodothis40]

Last Night I got into bed with my GF, and got an erection.  No Viagra needed.  We didn't have sex, just fooled around for a bit and then slept.  It was a super long day for her, and I was pretty tired.  I am just excited I got an erection in the evening with no pharmaceutical help.

Little things like this give me hope.

Continue to be awesome.

 

[thimbuk2]

Very encouraging post HTDT. Thank You!! I made it 100 days, thought I had this thing by the balls, and I let my guard down. Anyway, I'm proud of you brother. Good to hear about the gal. It's amazing that many women are very supportive and solution oriented when it comes to this issue. They just need us to communicate and do something we're not comfortable with, and that is being honest with them.

 

[Havetodothis40]

I am still doing well.  Life is good.  The girl is seeing her family 3 hours away for 4 days. It does leave a hole in my PMO defense.  But I am reminding my self that she will back soon, and I need to be strong for her.

Thimbuk2, I do not plan on letting my guard down, I did that before several times.  The method that I found that works for me is starting each day with a quick mantra of "I will not watch Porn today. I deserve more than what Porn offers"

I repeat that as needed through out the day.  It really helps me, and reaffirms my self image.

 

[lyon03]

Well done brother. Make a plan of action for when you get the itch because that little porn gremlin always calls. Be strong. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

 

[Havetodothis40]

I did have some P creep it's way into my head. But I pushed it away.  She is back in town and I am excited I was able to stay away from porn and fantasy while she was gone. 

I kind of think P will always find a way to creep into my head. I just have to keep reminding myself I have something better and I deserve that.

Be awesome guys.