40 YO, never married, addicted to porn since 14.

[unchained]

It makes sense to try to get all the help you need.

This forum and ybop, yourbrainrebalanced.com and others are where I turn right now.  In the beginning, I was hoping to go 4-5 weeks done and it would be over.  I am beginning to realize that 27 years of porn will not be erased for a long long time.

 

[Havetodothis40]

I found a website for LDS that said that they have counselling about porn addiction.  I hope they are not too "god forward" but I reached out to them. 

I understand and know why some people reach out to the church for this and other issues.  I just have some "church issues" 

Tonight I went for a drive and a great dinner experience.  I feel better.  I hope I wake up in this mood.

 

[unchained]

Glad you are feeling better.  I hope it continues.

As far as your "church issues"...please investigate it deeper yourself.  Please don't keep God at a distance in your life for something caused or created by what a person (s) has done in the past.

Driving has always helped me clear my mind, too.  Proper tunes help as well while driving .

 

[Havetodothis40]

I only bring up the religion issue because I am not particular religious and do not wish to become religious.  I just want to change this one part of my life PMO.  But as I research and look for places to reach out to, it seems a lot of churches are offering services for this.  I am not going to close the door just because it is tied to a church, but I am cautious.  I hope that makes sense and does not offend anyone.

That being said, I threw my tablet in the garage this morning.  ( Garage is not attached and a good 100 feet away from my front door) 

Next time the tablet is going in the trash.

 

[Albert]

Havetodothis40: I am new here. But if you want my advice. I spend years working and researching about to lose weight. And I tell you: the secret is very simple: RETAKE ! Close your eyes, retake your walk. And 2 or 3 days after you will feel better. If you fail, retake and retrial until you bet. Retake EVER. Don't permit your lapse became a collapse ! My best wishes for all of us !

 

[Havetodothis40]

Yesterday, I reached out to LDS for their porn addiction program.

I feel much better today, despite PMOing last night and this morning.  I put my tablet in my garage and may just throw it out.  K9 does not seem to work on it at all.  K9 is working fine on my PC, and lately my tablet has been my porn provider for years.

LDS called me back today.  They would counsel me once a week via webcam/webex.  the sessions would be one on one until They felt comfortable about putting me in a group therapy, (after 10 to 20 weeks.  Each session is about an hour long and the single sessions are 95 bucks a piece.)

I am really considering it.  But I also want to give this some more effort on my own.  I also want to look around for other options.

 

[2heal]

Hi, Havetodothis40.  There is no shame in having to reset your counters.  Those counters are for you and no one else.  We all have those days and we all slip from time to time - you should feel no shame in this.  The important thing is to get back on the horse and carry on.  I come back here every day for motivation to carry on.  I post on my journal just to help myself get through one more day.  I read other journals and success stories to help encourage myself.  You're doing great -  keep it up.  We're all behind you.

 

[Havetodothis40]

I am feeling good.

 

[Havetodothis40]

This past weekend I drove to visit a friend.  She is a recovering addict for booze and drugs, but I have known her for years.  We decided to meet up and go on a wing tour.  We basically went from place to place eating and rating their wings.  No booze was involved and it was a great time.

We talked a bit about overcoming addiction and she told me that she starts every day with saying "I will not drink today"  I found this interesting. I have watched some positive thoughts videos and a lot of them say to start the day with saying a positive saying, or a daily goal. 

Since Monday I have started each morning with "I am not watching porn today"  So far it has worked, and I have said it couple times during the day.  I still get urges.  But I seem more resolved.  That could be a number of reasons.  I would be naive to think that I can turn my mind around in just 3 days.  But it feels good to have some sort of method.

One thing I have learned during this process is that reaching out to friends and family can be really useful.

Keep being awesome guys.

 

[PMOVictory]

HTDT this is great news.

YEs people can be a great support, be it family and friends.
Sometimes it just takes somebody to say something that you know and have heard for ages, but they say it in a way that just make the click for you.

talking about saying positive things to yourself.
You could also make a list of positive affirmations starting with "i am..."
This is a great tool for being and staying positive. It gets used in the business world, personal development, healing etc.
You make the list and then you repeat it first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.
Out loud, while looking to yourself in the mirror. I suggest you include other positive things as well. and then you build on it.

A typical "I am..." statement example for you could be.

I am successful in whatever challenges comes my way.
I am a healthy person with a regular exercise programme that keeps me fit.
I am successful in my job.
I am a handsome adorable man.
I am in control of my physical weight.
I am in control of how I handle whatever life throws at me.
I am in control of my emotions.
I am in control of the decisions I make for my life.
I am the best when it comes to saving money for ...
I am perfectly in control of my desire to drink.
I am in control of my decision making.
I am successful in rebooting from porn addiction.
Etc, etc.

But I think you get the idea.
The more "I am" statements you have that cover a wide range of your personal life the better.

Have Fun!

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!

 

[nobother]

HTDT:

I have read all the posts.  Sorry your heart keeps getting beat down.  One thing I have learned from this site is sometimes you have to just give up sex for a while until the reboot has taken effect.  If your relationship with someone keeps you down and giving you cause to PMO then you might consider putting that relationship on hold until you are in a really good place.

It is interesting that you and your friend share common interests:  your addiction to porn and her addiction to alcohol.  You both could be good for each other.  Keeping each other on the wagon and helping each other when you are feeling the urges.

I have become familiar with the LDS addiction program.  It seems to me you could just show up at their group meeting and participate.  In my local area they meet every Wednesday.  No questions asked.  They just welcome in everyone who want to participate.

Stay strong brother.  Look at life through clear eyes (no PMO).  The longer you can withstand it the clearer your eyes become.  Everything seems different when you are free from the bondage of porn.  Not that you won't have problems - but it seems that you will be able to handle the problems better when you feel good about yourself.

Happy days.

 

[Havetodothis40]

So far I have been using "I am not watching porn today, I deserve better than porn" 

It seems to be working and self affirming.

Thanks for the suggestions!

 

[PMOVictory]

I'm sure glad for you that it is working!

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!

 

[savingmysoul]

Hang in there.

Know what you are trying to rebuild, find the pieces and put them together one at a time.

Stay strong.

 

[Havetodothis40]

I have been doing well since employing the morning ritual of saying That "I will not watch porn and I deserve better than porn." into the mirror.  I repeat that through out the day randomly.

Be well everyone!

 

[lyon03]

Good luck brother and stay strong. You're suffering but we're all cheering for you. Thanks for sharing. It's not easy but your words teach and motivate us all. 

 

[Havetodothis40]

Things are going well,  I am still PMO free.  I am still reciting my "I am not watching Porn today, I deserve better than Porn" every morning.

I have a new girl that is interested in me, and last night we slept together. No sex, but in the middle of the night I woke up with night wood and she played with it for a while.  I was happy I was able to stay hard.  I am really sensitive though.  I would have came if she kept doing what she was doing.  But I will take that. Anything is better than no wood at all.

Guys I have relapsed a lot in the past, but I feel really good this time.  Last night seems to show that even if you relapse it's not a lost cause.  Just keep focusing on not watching porn and you will get better, and some day you will build a good streak.

I still have a ways to go.  I still can not get a boner on demand, but I do show some progress overall.

 

[Havetodothis40]

I am still doing good.  I am really happy to have a streak (26 days!!) of no porn going.  It just gives me more reason not to watch porn.
I very seldom of think of porn or not watching porn.  I think this is key.  I still look in the mirror in the morning, and repeat my mantra.

That really seemed to do the trick for me. 

I hope everyone finds what works for them.

 

[PMOVictory]

HTDT

This is great news. I am happy for you and want to congratulate you on accomplishing what I think is your record...?
Well done!

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!

 

[Havetodothis40]

Yep, this is a record for me.  I had to go back to read some of my old posts.  I reached 25 days on my first attempt over 4 months ago.  Since then it was a series of very short streaks of no PMO until this one.  It just goes to show that no matter how many times you relapse, you can get over this if you keep at it and keep trying new things.

Remember guys, what worked for one person might not work for you,  keep searching until you find the method or methods that work for you.