One of the hardest things I'm having to deal with right now is the lost trust of my wife, so many times I've given her my word and gone back on it, in the 5 days I've restarted my journey for recovery I want my wife so desperately to see that I've turned a corner and I want to be a better man, then something comes along and just as I feel like I'm some small progress out my pit I feel like I'm at the bottom again looking up at day light, let me explain I have a job interview tomorrow so I thought I'll give myself a trim, stupidly I didn't look in a mirror and ended up taking too much off one side, I forgot to use a mirror I'm balding anyway no big deal expect in the past when I used to act out for some reason I would shave my head after some times, my wife soon learn the link between the two, the first thing I thought she's gonna think I've acted out, I sent her a message to explain what happened, my wife sent back a series of messages say OK but I so desperately want her to believe me but I know I've broken my word to her so many times I feel like even I tell her the truth she never believe me again no matter what progress I make, she told me how she misses things how they used to be between us, I just feel like I want to run away a million miles, became a hermit on some island somewhere not hurting anyone but then I remember I love my wife and I want to be with her but my addiction is the thing between us I'm trying my hardest to kill it but its the bad smell that won't go away, in the past I would of just said F it I don't care let me get some porn.... But I'm not I cant keep on destroying myself and the people around me, if anything hurts so much is losing my wife's trust and love, so for all you fellow addicts out there don't be like this old fool, stop before it's too late before you lose the ones you love, I'm gonna go back to a bit of fantasy but it's Alien vs Predator, I know it's not a great film but it's better than porn.
Let's fight this thing one day at a time, I'm AK I'm a porn addict and this is my 5th day of recovery
Let's fight this thing one day at a time, I'm AK I'm a porn addict and this is my 5th day of recovery