New Here. Nothing to Lose.

[SkazkiDreamin82]

UGH! I effed up again.

I was home in bed, recuperating from a flu bug. Meant to just watch Netflix. But me + lots of idle time + a laptop resulted in a revisiting of some porn sites and chat rooms.

Setting the counter back to zero. I at least got a solid nine days out of this stretch. And honestly, if it weren't for this journaling on Reboot Nation, I would probably have not even made it that long.

 

[SkazkiDreamin82]

Made it through 24 hours of no PM. But the temptations are fierce. I?m going to have to fight this with everything I?ve got, just to make it through the next 24.

 

[changemylife]

Stay strong, man. This is a tightrope. Any wrong step and we fall the fuck down from the 20th floor.

 

[Loving_Mary]

Made it through 24 hours of no PM. But the temptations are fierce. I?m going to have to fight this with everything I?ve got, just to make it through the next 24.

Hi man,

I wanna share what works out for me, maybe it's good for you too.

I figured out that an alcoholic with bottles at home wasn't a good idea, so I just blocked all my computers and cell phone.

K9 Software for the laptops and Spin Browser for the cell-phone.

as K9 can be disblocked through email, I created an email to open the account and gave away the password to a friend.

Maybe you wanna try and when you feel prepared you can block everything for good.

In my case I figured out that pain didn't come only from the addiction, so fixing the rest of my life is also important. 

cheers

 

[changemylife]

Made it through 24 hours of no PM. But the temptations are fierce. I?m going to have to fight this with everything I?ve got, just to make it through the next 24.

Hi man,

I wanna share what works out for me, maybe it's good for you too.

I figured out that an alcoholic with bottles at home wasn't a good idea, so I just blocked all my computers and cell phone.

K9 Software for the laptops and Spin Browser for the cell-phone.

as K9 can be disblocked through email, I created an email to open the account and gave away the password to a friend.

Maybe you wanna try and when you feel prepared you can block everything for good.

In my case I figured out that pain didn't come only from the addiction, so fixing the rest of my life is also important. 

cheers

Yes, I definitely agree with this.

 

[SkazkiDreamin82]

Hey. It's my first entry here in months. Because I'd failed in my recovery goals and screwed around with the smut some more over the last few months. So here I go again.

It's now two days since I last fapped or porned. I've got an accountability partner on this site, as well as this journal. And I'll stay engaged with both daily or close to it, going forward.

And off-site, I'm busy improving my life in general and shaping it into a life that's full of better things than porn. I've joined a Meetup book club, for instance, and am getting back into a solid exercise program--the latter starts with a few rounds of physical therapy, as I've got several joint issues that have hobbled my attempts at being physically active in the past year; a state of affairs that has unfortunately left me with too much pent-up energy, which makes me all the more tempted to blow off steam with porn.

Anyhow, I've got my hands full making a lot of internal and external improvements. I've repeatedly screwed up, but I'm going to look hard and see what I can learn from the latest screwups. And do a better job of not screwing up this time.

 

[J01]

Smart move on making a recommitment to rid yourself of this addiction.  I would think that as a writer clearing your brain of this junk would open up new insights and metaphorical adventures that would propel your craft forward.  You are doing the right thing-it is never too late to start doing what is right.  Best wishes going forward.

 

[SkazkiDreamin82]

17 days

This is my first post on here in a while. Tripped up a few times since my last entry, but climbed back up onto the wagon and have managed to stay on for the last 17 days. I'm noticing the attractiveness of real-life women around me a bit more, and starting to find other, better things to do with the time I'd been throwing away on porn and X-rated chats (the online chats were an especially toxic drug of choice for me), like reading more books and joining Meetup groups for trivia nights, nature walks, and things like that.

But the risk of relapse is ever at my shoulder. Just last night, it occurred to me that there are a few things I haven't tried out in my erotic chats. And that thought led me to Google a few pornographic things and click on a few links. Thankfully, I realized what I was doing within the span of two-three minutes, and I logged off of it all before I could indulge myself further and fap.

All the same, I woke up this morning and thought about "browsing" in that crap some more. I'm still thinking about doing so. But I decided to log onto here and type about my feelings instead.