Phone sex
- Thread starter Oldmanme
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OldHornyGuy
Active Member
Obviously it depends on what "negative effects" you are thinking about. It sounds like it would not have a negative effect on your relationship. It might have a negative effect on your PIED or other symptoms. It might also give you have hangover effect where afterwards you might be more prone to seek out porn again. On the other hand, having phone sex, but no MO might really cause you to seek out porn.
So, ultimately you will have to be the judge. I would probably say, talk all you want about anything you want, but don't MO, but YMMV.
So, ultimately you will have to be the judge. I would probably say, talk all you want about anything you want, but don't MO, but YMMV.
Havetodothis40
Active Member
Your mileage may vary
OHG, so glad you responded to my post. have been reading your original post & some followups this morning. While our issues might not be all the same, we have some things in common. You say you're old, but I have about 15 years on you. I was also raised Catholic & had the proverbial problem connecting love & sex. Cost me a few when I was younger.
I started a relationship with my lady when I was about your age, & it's gone strong ever since. She lives about an hour & 1/2 away & we both have obligations that prevent us from moving. 1st few years was like teenagers, all night stands with constant sex, all kinds, till 4-5 in the am. I knew her growing up & we had a brief fling after high school, but I wasn't ready to settle down.
She married & then I did & we only saw each other at class reunions. After reuniting, we became fuck buddies but it has turned into a full blown love affair. I never thought I would find someone that would love sex more than me, but I conceed to her. She's open to anything & everything & loves giving full BJs. But a while back I started having a problem keeping it up. Like you & Karen, we both love to touch & kiss & hold, sometimes for hours without sex. We talk constantly, even though I am not a great conversationalist with others. It just turns me on to hear her talk & laugh.
I've watched a good deal of porn in the last couple of years, & probably average 4-5 times a week of PMO. When I found this site, it seemed to make sense so now I'm on board. When my issue came up, I wasn't so much bothered about me as I was for her. She says it's no big deal, that it's just great that we know how to satisfy each other in several other ways, but I know she enjoys me cumming inside her a lot. She liked for us to cum together saying it was so intimate for her. Anyway, I'm committed to giving this a whirl & hope I can stick with it. I just liked the way you described your things & hope I can stay in touch going forward.
PS - Her most favorite toy is the vibrating ring. I used to put it on my cock but can't do that as well now. But she still loves it when I hold it and finger her while we're kissing passionately. Some of her best Os. Hopefully it might work with you & Karen.
PPS - on the phone sex, my concern was if MO would set me back even though all I'm focused on is her. She cums, sometimes 2 or 3 times & that gets me hot. What do you think?
All for now.
I started a relationship with my lady when I was about your age, & it's gone strong ever since. She lives about an hour & 1/2 away & we both have obligations that prevent us from moving. 1st few years was like teenagers, all night stands with constant sex, all kinds, till 4-5 in the am. I knew her growing up & we had a brief fling after high school, but I wasn't ready to settle down.
She married & then I did & we only saw each other at class reunions. After reuniting, we became fuck buddies but it has turned into a full blown love affair. I never thought I would find someone that would love sex more than me, but I conceed to her. She's open to anything & everything & loves giving full BJs. But a while back I started having a problem keeping it up. Like you & Karen, we both love to touch & kiss & hold, sometimes for hours without sex. We talk constantly, even though I am not a great conversationalist with others. It just turns me on to hear her talk & laugh.
I've watched a good deal of porn in the last couple of years, & probably average 4-5 times a week of PMO. When I found this site, it seemed to make sense so now I'm on board. When my issue came up, I wasn't so much bothered about me as I was for her. She says it's no big deal, that it's just great that we know how to satisfy each other in several other ways, but I know she enjoys me cumming inside her a lot. She liked for us to cum together saying it was so intimate for her. Anyway, I'm committed to giving this a whirl & hope I can stick with it. I just liked the way you described your things & hope I can stay in touch going forward.
PS - Her most favorite toy is the vibrating ring. I used to put it on my cock but can't do that as well now. But she still loves it when I hold it and finger her while we're kissing passionately. Some of her best Os. Hopefully it might work with you & Karen.
PPS - on the phone sex, my concern was if MO would set me back even though all I'm focused on is her. She cums, sometimes 2 or 3 times & that gets me hot. What do you think?
All for now.
PMOVictory
Active Member
Oldmanme and OldHOrnyGuy
You guys rock, Hope I will still have it the way you's do when I get to your ages!
Stay strong and be Blessed!
You guys rock, Hope I will still have it the way you's do when I get to your ages!
Stay strong and be Blessed!
OldHornyGuy
Active Member
If you have read my posts, then you have a pretty good idea of what is happening to me. Now, I am only one person, so I don't know how it might apply to you. I said in one of my early posts that I was having sex during my reboot because, basically, as long as I am with Karen, I don't care how long a "full" reboot takes. Because like your SO, when things don't work right, she doesn't mind at all. We have had a few times where intercourse was pretty much impossible -- we did other things and she was fine. There have been times where I had unintentional DE, and she didn't seem to mind that either.
There are still plenty of areas where I am not happy with my performance, but I am 110% sure that she would not agree with me one bit.
So, I would say to you what people have basically said to me...if you and your lady are fine with whatever happens in bed -- go for it. If you have times when "it doesn't work right" no big deal, don't lose any sleep over it, she certainly won't.
That being said, I would (and to a large extent, I have been) avoid porn altogether, even if she were to want to watch it together. I would not do anything that disassociates you from your lady.
You might find that you recover more quickly if you don't MO, so maybe, try not MOing during your times apart even on the phone. I took a couple of weeks off from regular orgasm and it seemed to help the recovery move along. In my case, she really doesn't like it when I "hold out" on her, so I have been orgasming with her. I don't think it set me back, but I do feel as though it has slowed my forward progress and I do feel a bit of a hangover in that the urge to peek is returning when I am not with her.
You've got a good thing going. Talk to her, be honest about your feelings and where you are at and I am pretty sure things will work out fine.
There are still plenty of areas where I am not happy with my performance, but I am 110% sure that she would not agree with me one bit.
So, I would say to you what people have basically said to me...if you and your lady are fine with whatever happens in bed -- go for it. If you have times when "it doesn't work right" no big deal, don't lose any sleep over it, she certainly won't.
That being said, I would (and to a large extent, I have been) avoid porn altogether, even if she were to want to watch it together. I would not do anything that disassociates you from your lady.
You might find that you recover more quickly if you don't MO, so maybe, try not MOing during your times apart even on the phone. I took a couple of weeks off from regular orgasm and it seemed to help the recovery move along. In my case, she really doesn't like it when I "hold out" on her, so I have been orgasming with her. I don't think it set me back, but I do feel as though it has slowed my forward progress and I do feel a bit of a hangover in that the urge to peek is returning when I am not with her.
You've got a good thing going. Talk to her, be honest about your feelings and where you are at and I am pretty sure things will work out fine.
Thank you for your reply, your words are very comforting. I did share what I'm doing with my lady last night, & she was thrilled that I told her. She said it didn't matter that I haven't been rock solid, but as I said I know she's not complete without it. I'll probably share our posts with her when I get comfortable I can do this.
Had a setback this morning. Was reading the paper online & saw the piece about the Jennifer Lawrence nude photos, & before I knew it I was Goggling to see them. Didn't find any, but came across some others on a site. Quickly closed it, but all of a sudden had this strange physical feeling like withdrawal from smoking (which I did Memorial Day with the help of vaping). Only way I got through it was thinking about my lady & your posts. Still feel shakey. Is this normal & will it happen a lot during reboot?
Had a setback this morning. Was reading the paper online & saw the piece about the Jennifer Lawrence nude photos, & before I knew it I was Goggling to see them. Didn't find any, but came across some others on a site. Quickly closed it, but all of a sudden had this strange physical feeling like withdrawal from smoking (which I did Memorial Day with the help of vaping). Only way I got through it was thinking about my lady & your posts. Still feel shakey. Is this normal & will it happen a lot during reboot?
PMOVictory
Active Member
Glad to hear you are doing so good with the reboot.
Regarding your question about feeling shaky, I don't know. I suppose it is different for different people.
I was not exposed to a similar situation since my reboot so I'm probably the wrong guy trying to render an answer.
Anyways
Stay strong and be Blessed!
Regarding your question about feeling shaky, I don't know. I suppose it is different for different people.
I was not exposed to a similar situation since my reboot so I'm probably the wrong guy trying to render an answer.
Anyways
Stay strong and be Blessed!
OldHornyGuy
Active Member
Feeling all kinds of things are probably normal during the withdrawal process. When I peeked a bit, I could feel my heart just racing. I look at is as your brain will do anything to get you back into your old habits!
And as your lady has told, you, you don't need to be "rock solid" to have great sex. It is about connection and fun. Look here for some ideas in this area: www.reuniting.org.
I would also say that as we get older our needs and wants change and so should our sexual positions. I have found that the missionary postion (for example) is horrible for me/us right now. I have to support my weight (I am much bigger than her!) and the sensation I get is not enough to keep me hard. Her on top works much better, and she also likes the scissor positions. I was looking at some position sites and most of the ones that they said are a bit "boring" or "slow" or not for "fast penetration" seem to work best for us. I also noticed in the descriptions of those that they are good for long sex and deeper satisfaction. Just what we need as we get older.
And as your lady has told, you, you don't need to be "rock solid" to have great sex. It is about connection and fun.
Look here for some ideas in this area: www.reuniting.org. I would also say that as we get older our needs and wants change and so should our sexual positions. I have found that the missionary postion (for example) is horrible for me/us right now. I have to support my weight (I am much bigger than her!) and the sensation I get is not enough to keep me hard. Her on top works much better, and she also likes the scissor positions. I was looking at some position sites and most of the ones that they said are a bit "boring" or "slow" or not for "fast penetration" seem to work best for us. I also noticed in the descriptions of those that they are good for long sex and deeper satisfaction. Just what we need as we get older.
new here, so hi
i have been porn free 7 days, never thought of myself as an addict to porn, as i don't sit there for hours masturbating, just found what i needed ejaculated and that was that. normally at least once a day, occasionally i would go a day without which didn't bother me.
however i encountered a situation where i had no visual stimulation and i couldn't get aroused. so i tried an experiment tried to fantasise without watching anything, felt like i had a mental block. was so used to ejaculatig to porn.
found your brain on porn which kind of put my mind at ease and hoping i return to normal
so thats me
i have been porn free 7 days, never thought of myself as an addict to porn, as i don't sit there for hours masturbating, just found what i needed ejaculated and that was that. normally at least once a day, occasionally i would go a day without which didn't bother me.
however i encountered a situation where i had no visual stimulation and i couldn't get aroused. so i tried an experiment tried to fantasise without watching anything, felt like i had a mental block. was so used to ejaculatig to porn.
found your brain on porn which kind of put my mind at ease and hoping i return to normal
so thats me
Havetodothis40
Active Member
Hey Andwat. Welcome to forum. This place has been good to me since I came here last week, and it will be good for you as well.
The people here are great and pretty helpful.
The people here are great and pretty helpful.
