build4life
Member
So thought best I start with some background information of exactly how i ended up to have PIED, and perhaps there are gonna be other guys out there that read this and can relate to my story somewhat.....
I had never heard about PIED up until about 4 months ago when I decided I wanted to get involved in the PE community and give that a try and that is when I learned about PIED.
Anyhow......... As a kid I had pretty shit time at school and didn't have the best of confidence especially around girls. I was a horny kid but had no outlet and had easy access to porn online from my computer at home. I think i started to PMO the moment I hit puberty which was around 12 years old. I may have seen porn before then but I can't remember for certain. I masturbated to porn for years before I had my first sexual encounter with a girl and because I was scared of performance anxiety I also took viagra. I got pretty good at sex over the years but always used viagra and was always constantly using porn.
I had also started using steroids and got heavily into bodybuilding. Certain drugs in the bodybuilding world can cause erection problems for some people and I found that to be the case for me. There were lots of occasions over the years where my dick just would not work properly and I always thought it was because of the hormonal imbalances I was creating using steroids and this was probably the case but I also never thought about how using porn was exacerbating the problem.
Over the years I struggled with my erection issues and I just solely put it all down to steroid use and if I sorted all that out then things would come back to normal but they never did.
The porn I was watching over the years had become increasingly more deviant and got into watching things that I know are not right and it made me question whether there was something wrong with me. Trouble was that these were now the only things that could turn me on enough to get an erection! This was very troubling to me but I couldn't stop using and PMO to it.
I have read plenty of posts and articles that all talk about this escalation in porn to more extreme genres and it now makes a lot of sense to me. I was turned on by these things and want to masturbate to them but the moment I orgasm and had my release I would not be happy by what I had done. Mainly because of the nature of what I was getting off too.
I have been pretty much in and out relationships non stop for the last 12 years and although there were erection difficulties I always managed to make it work on and off somehow but it was never great.
2 years ago me and the girl of my dreams broke up but we stayed in contact and I have been hoping that we will work things out at some point. Anyway I have barely had any sex over the last two years as I have deliberately remained single but with no sex meant I had to heavily rely on porn and masturbation. So for 2 years my Porn and masturbation use has been at an all time high and I think my brain has just completely lost the ability to be turned on by normal women anymore. I know they are attractive but I get no feelings of excitement at all. It is near impossible for me to get an erection with a woman now.
I did have sex a couple of times with my ex over these two years but it was literally a couple of times and she said to me its like I am just not there anymore and I know exactly what she is getting at. When I was having sex with her it was like I was just doing it to get myself off as best I could and because I had to focus heavily on keeping my erection I was not focusing on her and just enjoying the situation. The sex itself just does not feel that pleasurable anymore either. All down to porn I suspect.
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Some other things worth noting is that over the years I cannot remember the last time I ever got morning wood. Probably not since I was 16 / 17 maybe? Again I have now learnt that this is a symptom of PIED
There were days were I would literally jack off up to 8 times in a day to porn. It was like I was trying to drain every last drop out of nut sack and I don't know why lol. I would jack off when I needed to feel good or have a release but also i used to do it simply to entertain myself if I was bored :-\
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Where I am now and what I am doing about this:-
So 3 weeks ago I started No Fap Hardmode and it has actually been very easy for me to give up the porn and masturbation side of things knowing what the end goal is and how many people have achieved it is all the motivation I need to stay away.
What happened in week 1:-
My dick shrank to something rather small and cold lol.... It was not a pleasant experience
Week 2
My dick stopped hanging so small and I actually had some incredible nights sleep along with a couple sexual dreams
Week 3
No sexual dreams and sleep have not been as good. During the day whilst I am at work my brain randomly starts thinking of the deviant things I used to watch and I can feel a slight response in my dick to those thoughts but I immediately try shutting those thoughts down but its not easy.
That is where I am at the moment.
What I want from this journey:-
I want to be turned on by woman again where the lightest touch or look of desire for me from one will give me a semi in my pants.
I want to be free from using drugs like viagra.
I want to experience that great pleasure again you can get from sex which I no longer am getting.
I want to remove all these deviant sexual thoughts and tastes that have developed from all my years of porn use and escalating.
Basically I want to be a horny pubescent teenage boy again LMAO hahahaha ;D ;D ;D
Lets see how we do... 21 days down and I imagine a lot lot more to go!
I had never heard about PIED up until about 4 months ago when I decided I wanted to get involved in the PE community and give that a try and that is when I learned about PIED.
Anyhow......... As a kid I had pretty shit time at school and didn't have the best of confidence especially around girls. I was a horny kid but had no outlet and had easy access to porn online from my computer at home. I think i started to PMO the moment I hit puberty which was around 12 years old. I may have seen porn before then but I can't remember for certain. I masturbated to porn for years before I had my first sexual encounter with a girl and because I was scared of performance anxiety I also took viagra. I got pretty good at sex over the years but always used viagra and was always constantly using porn.
I had also started using steroids and got heavily into bodybuilding. Certain drugs in the bodybuilding world can cause erection problems for some people and I found that to be the case for me. There were lots of occasions over the years where my dick just would not work properly and I always thought it was because of the hormonal imbalances I was creating using steroids and this was probably the case but I also never thought about how using porn was exacerbating the problem.
Over the years I struggled with my erection issues and I just solely put it all down to steroid use and if I sorted all that out then things would come back to normal but they never did.
The porn I was watching over the years had become increasingly more deviant and got into watching things that I know are not right and it made me question whether there was something wrong with me. Trouble was that these were now the only things that could turn me on enough to get an erection! This was very troubling to me but I couldn't stop using and PMO to it.
I have read plenty of posts and articles that all talk about this escalation in porn to more extreme genres and it now makes a lot of sense to me. I was turned on by these things and want to masturbate to them but the moment I orgasm and had my release I would not be happy by what I had done. Mainly because of the nature of what I was getting off too.
I have been pretty much in and out relationships non stop for the last 12 years and although there were erection difficulties I always managed to make it work on and off somehow but it was never great.
2 years ago me and the girl of my dreams broke up but we stayed in contact and I have been hoping that we will work things out at some point. Anyway I have barely had any sex over the last two years as I have deliberately remained single but with no sex meant I had to heavily rely on porn and masturbation. So for 2 years my Porn and masturbation use has been at an all time high and I think my brain has just completely lost the ability to be turned on by normal women anymore. I know they are attractive but I get no feelings of excitement at all. It is near impossible for me to get an erection with a woman now.
I did have sex a couple of times with my ex over these two years but it was literally a couple of times and she said to me its like I am just not there anymore and I know exactly what she is getting at. When I was having sex with her it was like I was just doing it to get myself off as best I could and because I had to focus heavily on keeping my erection I was not focusing on her and just enjoying the situation. The sex itself just does not feel that pleasurable anymore either. All down to porn I suspect.
------------------
Some other things worth noting is that over the years I cannot remember the last time I ever got morning wood. Probably not since I was 16 / 17 maybe? Again I have now learnt that this is a symptom of PIED
There were days were I would literally jack off up to 8 times in a day to porn. It was like I was trying to drain every last drop out of nut sack and I don't know why lol. I would jack off when I needed to feel good or have a release but also i used to do it simply to entertain myself if I was bored :-\
--------------------
Where I am now and what I am doing about this:-
So 3 weeks ago I started No Fap Hardmode and it has actually been very easy for me to give up the porn and masturbation side of things knowing what the end goal is and how many people have achieved it is all the motivation I need to stay away.
What happened in week 1:-
My dick shrank to something rather small and cold lol.... It was not a pleasant experience
Week 2
My dick stopped hanging so small and I actually had some incredible nights sleep along with a couple sexual dreams
Week 3
No sexual dreams and sleep have not been as good. During the day whilst I am at work my brain randomly starts thinking of the deviant things I used to watch and I can feel a slight response in my dick to those thoughts but I immediately try shutting those thoughts down but its not easy.
That is where I am at the moment.
What I want from this journey:-
I want to be turned on by woman again where the lightest touch or look of desire for me from one will give me a semi in my pants.
I want to be free from using drugs like viagra.
I want to experience that great pleasure again you can get from sex which I no longer am getting.
I want to remove all these deviant sexual thoughts and tastes that have developed from all my years of porn use and escalating.
Basically I want to be a horny pubescent teenage boy again LMAO hahahaha ;D ;D ;D
Lets see how we do... 21 days down and I imagine a lot lot more to go!