15December18
Member
On the fifteenth of December I went to bed with a girl I had met days previously in college. She was very attractive, especially when unclothed. I was able to get an erection for the blowjob, but consistently lost in when I tried to put it in. The extreme embarrassment of this situation brought me to thoughts of suicide, and severely hurt my self-confidence. In the depths of a psychological hell that night I decided that I would never watch porn again. My sexual wiring seems to be more inclined to find digital erotica more appealing than a voluptuous, flesh and blood woman. She's gone back to her home country now thankfully, but I am determined never to lie flaccid and impotent beside an eager sexual partner again. I have known that I have a porn problem for a long time; the porn I watched got steadily more hardcore and obscene as the years went on. The pain of that night was nigh unbearable. But it is such a relief to be (I hope) free of that poisonous addiction, a daily habit which regularly caused me to be quite ashamed of myself and eventually led to the pain of 15/12/18. I have avoided PMO for three days now. Many times I have attempted to stop, but never have I lasted a week. So here's to a return to the path of nature. Here's to recovery of my divine masculine desire.