On the Road to Being My Best Possible Man

[sempervirilis]

Things are going well with the girl, have plans to see her for a beach trip pretty soon. We shall see Flat lines are rough, but I remember how the last one seemed to last for weeks, and here I am today feeling fine. It seems that it's just more short lived which is great. The libido will happen, and I can't say it's not there at all, but it just isn't screaming at me yet like it used to. It has definitely improved and every morning I am really reminded of it I'm in my 20s after all!

Look forward to writing for Day 85 or even once I hit the big 9 0!

 

[GermanKangaroo]

Congratulations on your progress 

Your blog interests me, as we are the same age and seem to share similar character traits. So you inspire me as well, keep up the good work!

 

[sempervirilis]

Day 90

The 90 day mark is finally here! I write today feeling more confident amongst both women and my male friends, generally more productive and focused professionally, and looking pretty darned good after keeping up with a little weight lifting for a month or so. Morning wood isn't a dream, it's just something that comfortably happens to me every morning now. Results have been garnered, that is for sure. I am happy with the progress made and I am happy with the changes that seem to be getting better over time.

I am happy to have reached the 90 day mark, but I see it as just another milestone on the way to the promise land. I had been using porn in escalating formats for a long time, since my mid to late teens. As long as I've been interested and dating women that is how long I have also been a porn user. This is the first time in my life that I am pursuing women without also pursuing porn, and the separation will take time.

There is no longer any desire to return to porn, desire to return to M comes at times, and I am distanced from both. I still get fantasies from time to time, although these weaken by the day it seems. My brain will throw a curve ball to me now and again, but I almost laugh at these episodes because often the memory or fantasy is so far back in time that it seems like it's working hard to come up with new material, and eventually I know it'll have to just stop working, and focus on the real, the now because that's my future.

The rewiring will be my focus going into the next 90 days. How can I take what I've gained so far and push into new spheres, or at least push into something  Happy to be here, appreciate all the support and look forward to continuing my posts. To another 90 days of taking back my manhood, go and get 'em fellas.

 

[LS90]

Good job! Happy to see in someone else some improvement on mood and personality. to 365 and beyond then.  8)

 

[sempervirilis]

Day 95

Greetings Men,

Onwards to day 95! Nothing too new to write about today, but have been having a serious case of what I can only describe as 'horniness' ; ) Felt restless and energetic, was having trouble keeping still, on and off erections and realized, huh, this is something I haven't felt in a while. Promptly went into a lifting workout and made some gains further than I have in a while. Happy and frustrated, happy to be a little frustrated, and happy to feel this again soon. Also excited to see that girl I've been hanging out with lately in a few short weeks!

I have also been keeping a separate counter for the days since my little release session with a friend. As I described earlier, isn't a relapse, but something I don't want to be doing again, thus am keeping track of it for 60 days at which point it's solely my counter on this thing. For the time Being:

Day 32

Till next time, big 100!

 

[readytobefree]

sempervirilis, you are such a super hero man. You're an inspiration because you've broken the big Nine Zero. I've been relapsing so much for the last 4 years I almost thought to give up (i've never gone longer than 15 days). The consistent MW is pretty awesome, I'm just getting it back and I'm just 5 days in.

Have you had any wet dreams in the 90 days?

I'm planning to do what you do, beat my old record of 15, get to 21 days, then 30 days, then 60 days, then 90, and then 120 and then 180 and finally a year.

I'm hoping to get off hard mode after 90 days but I'm thinking hard mode just heals you way faster.

What do you think of rewiring with real sex while avoiding P?

 

[sempervirilis]

Day 98

I usually like to try and keep to the every five days business, but I want to include this between postings because it's important for the history of my reboot.

I noted at Day 95 that I have been having some really horny days lately, and this continued and escalated to the point that I was almost like, "what is going on here?!" The problem was the feelings were paired directly with a taboo / fetish I used to hold onto back in my P days, and I was really freaking mad that it was coming back and like this. I then realized, hold up, insanely horny feelings? Fetish fantasies? The fight still goes on, I had to push through it. It was tough, but it only gets tougher if you give in. A full day later and things began to calm down. I am in a calmer state now, but it was a few rough days.

The message I guess I want to throw out there is that this process takes time and commitment. I'm happy I am almost at 100 days, but I've got a ways to go. Great progress has been made and will continue to be made, but only if I stick with this and continue on. Libido coming back is a good thing, it's just still working itself out ; )

I feel good generally, not discouraged. It's fantastic to see how things change for the positive and really live through that change. Would it be great if a 90 day fix was done and done for me? Sure. Everyone is different, and to be honest, I think on some levels the fix is happening, we're getting somewhere for sure.

To the next post.

 

[sempervirilis]

readytobefree, thanks for the positive encouragement! You'll get there man, the benefits are and will be amazing, just let it happen, and prepare for it to be tough. The time goes and you'll get there.

In regards to wet dreams, I hadn't had any for a long time and then maybe a couple weeks ago had one, and then five days later had another. Guess something is changing with my body. It's been about five days since the last one. I'll start including those if they do happen again.

Yeah, plan on staying on hard mode for as long as possible, but even when you 'go off' hard mode, my advice would be to keep ALL sexual activity to with another person. It'll be tough, but that's the rewiring part of the whole thing. I'm technically off hard mode after day 57, but am only having fun with other people, and due to my odd living circumstances right now (really rural developing country) there aren't too many opportunities. I do have a girl I'm pursuing and looking forward to seeing her soon ; ) For the real sex part, I would say absolutely! If you're at the point where having sex won't throw you back into a relapse cycle. I feel confident right now that when I do have sex again, I'll be able to keep it together afterwards and continue on the road.

Keep up the good work man!