Day 98
I usually like to try and keep to the every five days business, but I want to include this between postings because it's important for the history of my reboot.
I noted at Day 95 that I have been having some really horny days lately, and this continued and escalated to the point that I was almost like, "what is going on here?!" The problem was the feelings were paired directly with a taboo / fetish I used to hold onto back in my P days, and I was really freaking mad that it was coming back and like this. I then realized, hold up, insanely horny feelings? Fetish fantasies? The fight still goes on, I had to push through it. It was tough, but it only gets tougher if you give in. A full day later and things began to calm down. I am in a calmer state now, but it was a few rough days.
The message I guess I want to throw out there is that this process takes time and commitment. I'm happy I am almost at 100 days, but I've got a ways to go. Great progress has been made and will continue to be made, but only if I stick with this and continue on. Libido coming back is a good thing, it's just still working itself out ; )
I feel good generally, not discouraged. It's fantastic to see how things change for the positive and really live through that change. Would it be great if a 90 day fix was done and done for me? Sure. Everyone is different, and to be honest, I think on some levels the fix is happening, we're getting somewhere for sure.
To the next post.