Its time to really change
- Thread starter Do or die
- Start date
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Well done! Keep going day by day, 4 days is a good start already! 
L
Lero
Guest
Sometimes, when things don't go well, it's normal to feel down. It sucks but, at the end of the day, it's natural. But, you must not allow yourself to go deeper than that and feel super depressed and miserable. A mind in this state is a great facilitator for PMO going out of control. Allow yourself to feel down today but tomorrow start again.
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
Do or die said:
Definitely, my relapses always start with feeling depressed about life. It makes sense to feel sad after a relapse, but it's important to find better ways to deal with that sadness. Porn hides our pain, but it doesn't fix it.
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
This might be a tough question right now, but do you want to quit? Like really want to?
For years and years, I told myself that I wanted to quit, but I also knew that there was a side of me that didn't really want to. As soon as I picked myself up from a relapse, I already had a list of things I would look up and watch the next time the urges hit. I told myself that I wanted to quit, but that couldn't be true if I also had a plan for my next relapse.
There's a part of each of us that really likes porn and wants it. It wasn't until recently that I started to realize that I was never going to quit until I really, truly wanted a life without porn more than I wanted to comfort and pleasure of porn. Porn is fun and it feels good, so it makes sense that our brains and bodies will always pull us in that direction.
What can you see in the future that is better than porn? What will you lose if you continue a cycle of relapsing? I think it's much harder to stop if all you're doing is stopping. If you're working toward something better, though, then you have a motivation and a reason to keep going.
For years and years, I told myself that I wanted to quit, but I also knew that there was a side of me that didn't really want to. As soon as I picked myself up from a relapse, I already had a list of things I would look up and watch the next time the urges hit. I told myself that I wanted to quit, but that couldn't be true if I also had a plan for my next relapse.
There's a part of each of us that really likes porn and wants it. It wasn't until recently that I started to realize that I was never going to quit until I really, truly wanted a life without porn more than I wanted to comfort and pleasure of porn. Porn is fun and it feels good, so it makes sense that our brains and bodies will always pull us in that direction.
What can you see in the future that is better than porn? What will you lose if you continue a cycle of relapsing? I think it's much harder to stop if all you're doing is stopping. If you're working toward something better, though, then you have a motivation and a reason to keep going.
Do or die
Respected Member
Day 1 at june 19
A part of me want to quite but the other part loves the porn most. And every time i relapse. I have all knowledge about harms of porn addiction . then also i relapse. I made plans then also i relapse. It means we all here first need to do a unbreakable commitment and need to do daily meditation on what life you get by leaving this. The life you get by leaving this addiction is more pleasurable than this addiction.
A part of me want to quite but the other part loves the porn most. And every time i relapse. I have all knowledge about harms of porn addiction . then also i relapse. I made plans then also i relapse. It means we all here first need to do a unbreakable commitment and need to do daily meditation on what life you get by leaving this. The life you get by leaving this addiction is more pleasurable than this addiction.
L
Lero
Guest
Blue Heron is spot on. If I had to make a list for a recovery plan, one of the numbers would be: "Make yourself ready", which means you need to be 100% ready to quit. This addiction will always work in this way: A part of you wants to quit but another doesn't and there is a battle between them. Usually the part that likes the pleasure and/or self-medication aspect of PMO, wins. It might not be actually that simple to have not even 1% in you that doesn't want to abandon P. This is something we have to figure out how to do it but it's a very important step. The brain knows how to make you feel you will lose something, like a very close friend. First time when I told myself: "Okay, this is it, starting tomorrow I will get lost of PMO forever", I felt such sadness, it was unbelievable. "Why the fuck do I feel so sad about it? I'm supposed to be happy. I will be quitting something toxic."
L
Lero
Guest
It's seems like things are out of control. You've been relapsing more lately. Could you identify a reason why?
L
Lero
Guest
Do or die said:
If you have too much free time, you have to find something to do that keeps you away from PMO-ing.
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
I think you have already found some of your answers. You're relapsing more because you have less to do and you are spending more time alone.
What can you do to stay busier and spend more time around other people? I don't really like going out or being people that much, but it's a matter of survival if it means staying away from porn. Even if it seems hard, you have to be deliberate about filling your day with good activities. If you leave room in your day for porn, it will always take control.
What can you do to stay busier and spend more time around other people? I don't really like going out or being people that much, but it's a matter of survival if it means staying away from porn. Even if it seems hard, you have to be deliberate about filling your day with good activities. If you leave room in your day for porn, it will always take control.