PIDE - Porn Induced Delayed Ejaculation

[chiefmitch88]

You're right Visp, we will never be able to trust ourselves around P. We can't even dabble with it without losing ourselves in the process.

You're also right that we will always be in the danger zone. The world is one big danger zone.

However, I would like to hope that given sufficient time, discipline, and a sturdy battle plan formulated from studying the Addict Playbook I will be able to keep my guard up with less mental effort.

Just remember this thing can take years to beat, don't sell yourself short. Maybe one day resisting an urge will be as simple as shooing a fly.

 

[Therewolf]

You're right vispren.  We can't let our guard down; that's what did me in last time.

I have a buddy that I talk to about addiction.  He's a recovering alcoholic who has been sober 23 years.

He admits that he keeps his guard up every single day.

 

[chiefmitch88]

60 days! Congratulations on hitting your goal Vispren! That's cause for a little celebration. Hope your battles are going well.

 

[dhira]

Good on you. Keep up the good work!

 

[vispren]

Thanks guys.

The past week was really chaotic at work and at home. Too much work and too much traveling. Too little tender moments with the wife and too little feel good times in general.

Been getting into fights with the wife about pretty much everything. It's gotta be the nicotine withdrawal, I don't know.

For the first time since I started rebooting, I feel lost and hopeless.

I will not succumb to the pressure and relapse, but I can't get motivated again and it bothers me. It's hard to maintain a positive outlook on life when I feel depressed and down.

I think I'll be ok, once the storm settles. Just gonna wait it out.

 

[Mikel]

Welcome back Brother!

Sorry to hear that you've had a tough week. From my experience in the World of recovery, it's not always a walk in the park. Sometimes we have to go through pain in order to learn from it and move on.

Well done for getting past the sixty mark though. That is definitely something to feel positive about.

 

[vispren]

Zero relapses. No P, M or O and no cigarettes.

 

[vispren]

Day 86

Had sex, reached climax within 10 minutes.

 

[chiefmitch88]

Good news Vispren. Sounds like a lot of progress is being made.

 

[neon tiger]

Day 56th

I'm getting closer to my second goal, which makes 90 days my next one. However, I came to realise that days, weeks or months don't matter at all. This has to be permanent, because that is the only way to really incorporate reboot/rewiring into my life. I believe that I'll never be able to put my guard down. Ever.

...In my most humble opinion, no one gets out unscathed. No one heals, without losing a limb or two. Nobody. Not even Gabe. Even when we think we're done, the need for the crutch, as chiefmitch88 puts it, will always be here. The crutch not being porn, but discipline and keeping ourselves in check... 

...Miracles don't happen. Results do.

And the best way to get results (in my case) is to man the fuck up.

Weeks and months matter because the more time we put between our last acting out and ourselves, the more we starve the PMO wolf that lives within us.  You're right.  It doesn't die, but it weakens. And the way it weakens is with time, and manning the fuck up- in our discipline, in our relationships, in our habits, in our character, in our heart, in our soul, in our inner fire, in our essence.

Time also matters when new fellows come to the forum in despair seeking help and read testimonies from people like you that once acted and lived like them, and have found a way to recover.  I know for myself, reading through your posts was (and still is) a great source of strength and inspiration.

Congrats on 90 bother. To many more!

 

[chiefmitch88]

Proud of you for reaching that goal Vispren.  ;D