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Never lose focus of the reason why you're doing this. Every day you can prolong a streak you're going in the best direction.wecandoit said:Day 5
I must not forget the reason why I'm doing this.
I found that I had to make other changes to my daily routine to stop me slipping back into previous habits. In the morning I had to get up straight away and get out of the house ASAP, even if meant going to a local cafe for breakfast. I was out of the "trigger zone.
Keep going. You're doing good.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Jeks said:Yes man, hold on to your reasons. They will carry you through the cravings and withdrawals.
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Simonly said:Never lose focus of the reason why you're doing this. Every day you can prolong a streak you're going in the best direction.
I found that I had to make other changes to my daily routine to stop me slipping back into previous habits. In the morning I had to get up straight away and get out of the house ASAP, even if meant going to a local cafe for breakfast. I was out of the "trigger zone.
Keep going. You're doing good.
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 8
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 9
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 10
P addiction is tricky. It's not just watching P that I must stay away from. It's a "Give an inch, take a mile" kind of thing. The addiction tries to trick me into doing something "small" to push me eventually to what it wants: The hardcore videos and compilations.
I have a list where I keep all the things that I shouldn't do if I want not to be pushed back to P. I will add things to it if I find more. The list of things that I must avoid is (not neccesarely in this order):
1) Alcohol;
2) Getting involved in fantasizing if P flashbacks and fantasies come to my head;
3) Masturbation without P;
4) Touching myself;
5) Checking my erection;
6) Edging to anything;
7) Looking at pictures;
8 ) Watching that type of music videos and other Youtube videos that contain triggering stuff;
9) Watching TV shows (cause almost if not all of them have triggers nowadays - I think it's intentional to steal the audience);
10) (Obviously) watching P.
Okay, number 3, 4 and maybe 5 are not done while watching/fantasizing about P but they've pushed me to full blown PMO in the past so I have to add to the list absolutely everything that sabotages me. (That's why I tell people to check out how masturbation works for them when they ask if it's okay to do it without P. It's made me relapse full blown so if it makes you too, maybe you should think about it).
And when urges and craving for P comes, I pay attention to my addiction and what it asks me to do. Until now it's understood that I won't give it P, pictures, music videos, pants checking on Youtube and stuff like that. So my addiction has changed the plan and moved to fantasizing and masturbation without P. When I get urges, I can see it coming. Fantasies and flashbacks come to my head and I am literally watching P in my head. If I do a good job ignoring this, it even tries to make me masturbate without P telling me that it's fine because masturbation is fine, it's not P. But I know that I've relapses not long ago exactly like this, why should I be stupid enough to repeat it?
If I don't touch anything that's on that list, I'm good to go. Of course, the urges and the craving are not fun at all. They can be suffocating sometimes but I've come to accept that they are part of the withdrawal, I can't change that. They are something characteristic to this addiction. Only time will make them go away. Of course I can do some things about it (things that I've heard people saying like exercising, cold showers) but they will not go away for real until that day is here. I need to have patience and keep in mind that this day will come for sure.
P addiction is tricky. It's not just watching P that I must stay away from. It's a "Give an inch, take a mile" kind of thing. The addiction tries to trick me into doing something "small" to push me eventually to what it wants: The hardcore videos and compilations.
I have a list where I keep all the things that I shouldn't do if I want not to be pushed back to P. I will add things to it if I find more. The list of things that I must avoid is (not neccesarely in this order):
1) Alcohol;
2) Getting involved in fantasizing if P flashbacks and fantasies come to my head;
3) Masturbation without P;
4) Touching myself;
5) Checking my erection;
6) Edging to anything;
7) Looking at pictures;
8 ) Watching that type of music videos and other Youtube videos that contain triggering stuff;
9) Watching TV shows (cause almost if not all of them have triggers nowadays - I think it's intentional to steal the audience);
10) (Obviously) watching P.
Okay, number 3, 4 and maybe 5 are not done while watching/fantasizing about P but they've pushed me to full blown PMO in the past so I have to add to the list absolutely everything that sabotages me. (That's why I tell people to check out how masturbation works for them when they ask if it's okay to do it without P. It's made me relapse full blown so if it makes you too, maybe you should think about it).
And when urges and craving for P comes, I pay attention to my addiction and what it asks me to do. Until now it's understood that I won't give it P, pictures, music videos, pants checking on Youtube and stuff like that. So my addiction has changed the plan and moved to fantasizing and masturbation without P. When I get urges, I can see it coming. Fantasies and flashbacks come to my head and I am literally watching P in my head. If I do a good job ignoring this, it even tries to make me masturbate without P telling me that it's fine because masturbation is fine, it's not P. But I know that I've relapses not long ago exactly like this, why should I be stupid enough to repeat it?
If I don't touch anything that's on that list, I'm good to go. Of course, the urges and the craving are not fun at all. They can be suffocating sometimes but I've come to accept that they are part of the withdrawal, I can't change that. They are something characteristic to this addiction. Only time will make them go away. Of course I can do some things about it (things that I've heard people saying like exercising, cold showers) but they will not go away for real until that day is here. I need to have patience and keep in mind that this day will come for sure.
W
wecandoit
Guest
So far, regarding the list, I've made 2 mistakes. On day 6 I edged for about 1 minute and on day 10 I masturbated without P for a few minutes. Okay, they are not the end of the world, they are small mistakes, but I need to be more careful. I've been there too many times. Things like those can easily make me binge. I'm writing this now for motivation to avoid mistakes in the future. Sometimes I have this feeling that I will never stop making mistakes because, despise knowing what I have to do, this addiction is very strong and it takes control of me sometimes. Right now, after 10 days, the day when I'm not an addict anymore seems so unreal, like an utopia. I know, I have to believe in it but sometimes it's too fucking hard.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 12
In the last days I've felt lifeless, lethargic, with no energy and mood. Everything feels overwhelming, like every small thing to do feels like a mountain to climb. I've been just surviving, no really doing much. Today was my first day of work after free days and I was barely able to communicate with people. I don't know what's going on because I remember feeling better after 12 days without PMO in the past. It really feels like some sort of flatline, but I don't know what to say.
In the last days I've felt lifeless, lethargic, with no energy and mood. Everything feels overwhelming, like every small thing to do feels like a mountain to climb. I've been just surviving, no really doing much. Today was my first day of work after free days and I was barely able to communicate with people. I don't know what's going on because I remember feeling better after 12 days without PMO in the past. It really feels like some sort of flatline, but I don't know what to say.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Paul96 said:Hi, man! I have exactly the same mood three days straight. Yesterday I wrote about it in my journal. I guess every rebooter face this problem. You need to get through this.
Thanks, man. I appreciate the support.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 13
It was better than yesterday, I functioned better but I'm not there yet. I still felt kind of "drained" and quite anxious when talking to people at work. It's that feeling like life has been sucked out of me or something. I had a little bit of urges which maybe it shows that things will get better or maybe not. Usually, when I have urges I feel good too. When I don't have urges, I feel lifeless.
It was better than yesterday, I functioned better but I'm not there yet. I still felt kind of "drained" and quite anxious when talking to people at work. It's that feeling like life has been sucked out of me or something. I had a little bit of urges which maybe it shows that things will get better or maybe not. Usually, when I have urges I feel good too. When I don't have urges, I feel lifeless.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 14
It's been a while since I've had 2 weeks of textbook rebooting. I didn't watch/look at anything.
I had some urges in the morning but then I was left alone for the rest of the day.
I still don't feel a boost in energy. This streak is slow. I remember feeling better after 2 weeks. I had some social anxiety at work at the beginning of the shift but then it stabilized and it was alright. I'm still waiting to feel better.
It's been a while since I've had 2 weeks of textbook rebooting. I didn't watch/look at anything.
I had some urges in the morning but then I was left alone for the rest of the day.
I still don't feel a boost in energy. This streak is slow. I remember feeling better after 2 weeks. I had some social anxiety at work at the beginning of the shift but then it stabilized and it was alright. I'm still waiting to feel better.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 15
I got an energy boost. It's the first time in those 15 days when I jump out of the bed right away (and sleeping less than yesterday). I felt better than the last days. Because urges have returned, that's why. Like I've said: When I don't have urges, I feel like shit, when I have urges, I feel good. It's crazy. The withdrawal shows signs of coming back in full force. I craved P in the first part of the day.
I got an energy boost. It's the first time in those 15 days when I jump out of the bed right away (and sleeping less than yesterday). I felt better than the last days. Because urges have returned, that's why. Like I've said: When I don't have urges, I feel like shit, when I have urges, I feel good. It's crazy. The withdrawal shows signs of coming back in full force. I craved P in the first part of the day.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 16
Strong craving and urges.
Strong craving and urges.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 17
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wecandoit
Guest
Jeks said:Dude, you doing great!
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
W
wecandoit
Guest
Day 18
It's like yesterday my streak was only 3 days long and I was feeling like shit. Now after 18 days I started feeling a lot better. The first thing that I've noticed is energy level. I got a boost in energy. After less sleep, I can function without problems. I came home from night shift and I felt that I could've gone on with my day without even sleeping, but I went to sleep of course. I also have less anxiety. I most not forget all this and lose it with a relapse because I hate to start all over again from day 1. Yes, it would be day 1 because I binge. I rarely don't binge. When I lost control, I really lose it. This streak is the streak. No more being a victim of their drug. They tweak things to get me hooked. Fuck this. I can't dry the ocean but I will get out of the water and leave everything behind.
It's like yesterday my streak was only 3 days long and I was feeling like shit. Now after 18 days I started feeling a lot better. The first thing that I've noticed is energy level. I got a boost in energy. After less sleep, I can function without problems. I came home from night shift and I felt that I could've gone on with my day without even sleeping, but I went to sleep of course. I also have less anxiety. I most not forget all this and lose it with a relapse because I hate to start all over again from day 1. Yes, it would be day 1 because I binge. I rarely don't binge. When I lost control, I really lose it. This streak is the streak. No more being a victim of their drug. They tweak things to get me hooked. Fuck this. I can't dry the ocean but I will get out of the water and leave everything behind.