GottaReboot
Member
So the subject line is cheesy but it is how I feel. I am soon to be 55 and have been using porn since I was about 12. Two things happened that year. I was sexually assaulted by a neighbor and my brother showed me his porn collection. Since then porn has be a constant in my life. I have been in therapy for about 4 months dealing with all of these issues and my therapist has been amazing but I know I need to take the next step. Porn has impacted me in so many ways. I use it when I am stressed. I use it when I am down. All the same reasons everyone says.
Right now I have been out of work for a couple of months and my use has escalated. I am suffering from PIED and used PMO today for what I want to be the final time. I have a loving wife and two daughters and though they are supportive of me they don't know most of what I have gone through and I want to be a better man for them. I am hoping as I recover, I become more productive, more sensitive, more loving. I hope to stop turning my head at anything in a skirt while my wife is with me.
Today, I deleted all the porn on my computer along with all the apps I used to access it and closed my usenet account. I also threw out the vast majority of the toys we had as I don't want them here as a trigger.
I am grateful for finding the site and for what I see as a supportive community. After 40+ years of addiction I have no idea what I am in for but I am going to do everything I can to get over this once and for all.
Note to self: stay strong. Note to everyone else: Stay well.
Right now I have been out of work for a couple of months and my use has escalated. I am suffering from PIED and used PMO today for what I want to be the final time. I have a loving wife and two daughters and though they are supportive of me they don't know most of what I have gone through and I want to be a better man for them. I am hoping as I recover, I become more productive, more sensitive, more loving. I hope to stop turning my head at anything in a skirt while my wife is with me.
Today, I deleted all the porn on my computer along with all the apps I used to access it and closed my usenet account. I also threw out the vast majority of the toys we had as I don't want them here as a trigger.
I am grateful for finding the site and for what I see as a supportive community. After 40+ years of addiction I have no idea what I am in for but I am going to do everything I can to get over this once and for all.
Note to self: stay strong. Note to everyone else: Stay well.