I WILL DO THIS

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anubu0

Active Member
Hey dude. Eating healthy food is extremely beneficial.

For breakfast, I eat a bowl of oatmeal and then 2 eggs. For lunch, I eat another healthy meal, sometimes food from restaurants but all healthy stuff. Like for example, today I ate some thai food (stewed beef with brown rice). For dinner, I am very fortunate to have a mom who cooks so I just get to eat some really healthy home food.

In regards to its benefits, eating healthy food helps me focus and stay energized. Eating unhealthy food puts me in this mindset that, eh fuck it, gorge. When you get in that mindset, you think of other negative activities, like video gaming and then PMO. Its kind of like a change in lifestyle: changing my eating habits is changing my pmo habits.

 
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anubu0

Active Member
November 6, Day #17

Last night was very very very confusing. I spent the night up till midnight talking to friends which I'm not even mad about; I had a great fucking time and I realized just how much I love them all. The bad part was when I tried to go to sleep. It was around 1 A.M, I had just brushed my teeth, checked the news for election results, and was ready to go to sleep. When I tried to sleep, for at least an hour, all I could think about was my first attempt at sex, my failed attempt at sex. I started beating myself up; this girl was gorgeous and I couldn't fuck her. What the fuck.

These thoughts have always been inside my head but I guess they just came into full effect last night. It made me really sad, but on the bright side, its motivating me to persevere. I will get through this to better myself and never feel bad about my sex life again.

Also, another thing that happened last night: I had a wetish dream?? It was weird and I have to put a trigger warning just in case.

****************************************************TRIGGER WARNING******************************************************

The dream was really fucking eye opening. I was literally dreaming of watching porn, not even having sex, just watching porn. It started off with me on youtube, I saw a thumbnail with a little bit of cleavage and I started to get horny. Then, I was on a website that had a bunch of naked girls, some in bikinis, some clothed, but it was youtube styled not porn styled. I then proceeded to masturbate in my dream, and it felt very realistic. I genuinely thought I was relapsing for a second there, and then I woke up. I was humping the fuck outta my bed and I was about to orgasm but I stopped myself, ran to the bathroom, took a piss, and then went back to sleep. I got really close to orgasming. I also realized that if I'm having dreams about watching and masturbating to porn rather than actually fucking a girl, porn really does/did have a hold on. NO FUCKING LONGER, GET OUTTA HERE!

**************************************************************************************************************************

Trust the process guys, I am beginning to as well. I am normally very impatient and easily frustrated when I don't see results. The thing is, I am seeing results. I am seeing my brain fight against its two sides, the side that wants to recover and the side that is being controlled by p. Recovery Kayden will come out on top, I am sure about it. Remain vigilant and strong, we got this fellas.

TO DO'S:
- Fuck it, have fun: talk to your friends when they're online and play guitar when you want to. Don't feel forced to do anything! Its your life, do what you want with it, as long as its abstaining from toxins. I know gaming is bad for me but I am using it as a transition into life without pornography. I am not addicted to video gaming, at least I don't think, and I've heard its easier to recover from than porn addiction so I will deal with it second.
- Eat healthy and feeeeeeel gooooood

DONT'S:
- DON'T PMO
- DON'T show friend activity on spotify
 
A

anubu0

Active Member
November 7/8, Day #18/19

The website was down yesterday so I couldn't log my progress.

Sexual urges have been extremely limited through out the day. I feel like I have no libido/sex drive, that is until I go to sleep. I didn't realize this before but when I go to sleep, I always begin to think about sexual scenarios. I've been doing this for like 2 years now and I really need to stop.

No morning wood these past few days, which is slightly disappointing. I trust the process however, and a lot of youtube videos are very reassuring; I need to give this time and I will see GUARANTEED results.

COME ON KAYDEN! YOU GOT THIS! YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!

TO DO'S:
- Work hard today
- Take 30 minute breaks (maximum)

DON'TS:
- Don't check your Spotify activity for B
- Don't binge youtube videos even if they are PIED related

 
L

laneboy

Member
Hey!
You are really doing fine!
You are doing well not feeling bad for the morning woods!
And yes, you are in control!

Your energy is amazing and contagious :)
 
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fapstranaut02

Active Member
Hey Kayden,

Glad to see you are still going ham. Personally, I think it's okay to watch a few PIED videos on youtube, after watching and going through the comment section, it boost my morale further and remind me why I started this journey.

Anyway, stay strong. I believe you will recover faster than most of us. =D
 
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anubu0

Active Member
November 9, Day #20

It's day 20 today and I don't really know how I feel. Content maybe... happy? Indifferent? I don't know where my head is at right now, but at least I know I'm not depressed.

No dream last night and no morning wood today. I am relatively certain I am in a flatline; I have no real desire to look up anything sexual or stare at women, real or digital.

Reddit.com/r/noFAP is an amazing support tool. Don't get me wrong, this forum is great but the reddit page has so many memes and motivation blurbs to keep you going through out the day. I avoided it at first to stay away from nsfw posts but I've only unblocked that one specific page on my computer. If you haven't already, head over there and read some of the memes; they're hilarious and help you stay positive about your reboot. There was one post in particular regarding AV (artificial voice) which helped me tremendously. I'll find it and link it for those who are interested later.

WE ARE WARRIORS! LETS GOOOOOOOOOO! WE ARE TREMENDOUSLY IMPROVING OUR LIVES!

TO DO'S:
- stay focused and don't waste time
- have a hard and exhausting swim practice
- get to bed by 9-10 P.M

DON'TS:
- don't snack on foods
- don't check spotify activity

 
A

anubu0

Active Member
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/hqg2nh/quit_any_bad_habit_instantly_without_willpower/

Here is the link for the post I alluded to. Be weary, its on reddit which can have a lot of nsfw posts.
 
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anubu0

Active Member
November 10, Day #21

3 weeks! Lets goooo!

I am currently in a flatline for sure. I saw a very attractive girl yesterday and felt absolutely nothing. It made me kind of sad but a flatline is a sign of healing, so I should see it positively. No morning wood today and no sexual dreams and limited urges.

I have a crazy hard calc 3 test today and I feel slightly underprepared. I watched a lot of review videos yesterday and instead of trying to pull an all nighter, I slept at 9 just because I wanted to. I hold my mental/sleep health way above my schooling journey, especially as of right now. I don't want any factors to lead me to PMO

I also came to another big decision. Once I get through the first flatline, as long as I have hit at least the 90 day mark, I will stop logging in my journal daily. I feel like with journaling, unless I make it a permanent thing or just drop it, makes it seem as if this just a challenge that I am partaking in. No, this is a change in lifestyle. I will never watch porn again.

TO DO'S:
- Nail your test
- Work on supplemental essays
- WORKOUT HARD

DON'TS:
- Don't be weak
 
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fapstranaut02

Active Member
Stay strong Kayden, keep going

I recommend you to read this

http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=282.0

the guy kind of gives off the same vibe as you, I hope to see you posting in Success Stories section one day.

Don't. Give. In.
 
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wwalker19

Active Member
Glad to see you're going strong my man.  Keep it up.  You're growing fast, it's awesome to see.  Remember you never know the exact path to the future you want because life is unexpected, it's all about making the right decision every time you're given a choice.
 
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anubu0

Active Member
Thank you guys so much for the overwhelming support!

November 11, Day #22

This is THE reboot for me. Yesterday, the urges were insane. Every other second, a p flashback would kick in and every single time I was able to dismiss it.

Thank you fapstranaut for providing that post. It was very insightful and yeah I agree he does give off very similar vibes LOL! I think the best motivation I saw in that post was the idea that time is limited. I am only 18 and am extremely grateful for being cognizant of this issue "early" in my life, at least relative to a few of you guys, but my time is still limited. I will be going to college in a year; do I still want to be suffering from porn addiction and PIED by that time? Hell fucking no. And I won't be. I will remain resilient and get through this bizarre and horrible time.

I am still experiencing a flatline. I have very low libido despite the flashbacks and no morning wood today. I just took a shower however, and when I touched my dick, I noticed some sensation and like an 80% erection after touching it for a while. I stopped myself because I shouldn't be trying to do this. I need to give myself time to heal and avoid and stimulation until at least 90 days.

Guitar is coming along nicely, playing video games with my friends is enjoyable, and swim practices are brutal. Life is good. The only thing dragging me down are thoughts about B (my ex, i don't even know if I can call her that) and my PIED. I feel like when my PIED is cured, I will be able to interact more socially and maybe start talking to a few girls, which should also help me get over her.

Chris, I am glad that the artificial voice helped you. I personally found it to be extremely beneficial and recommend that everyone checks it out. For me, I envision Gary.

Gary is a 26 year old, ugly, warty, crooked nose, pimple-infested fella, or should I say pervert. He can't interact with anyone, he doesn't get aroused by anyone. When he sees someone he thinks is traditionally attractive, he googles her instead of talking to her, crossing his fingers for a leaked nude or sex tape. He's pathetic and weak. He's known about his porn addiction for 10 years but has never quit. He's frail and has a hunched back from bending over his desk to look at P. What a loser.

I'm sorry if that offended anyone or was too close to home. If you've been struggling with your addiction for 10 years, I by no means intend to belittle you. I'm just describing someone who is symbolic of my fears. What if I'm not strong enough... what if I do get caught up in this... what if Im not part of that 1%.

SIKE. I AM PART OF THAT 1%. I AM A BEAST WHO IS IN FUCKING TOTAL CONTROL. THESE PIXELS HAVE GOT NOTHING ON MY 5'10 140 LB SELF. TRY TO HOLD ME BACK P YOU CAN'T. YOU HAD THE UPPER EDGE ON ME FOR THE LONGEST TIME BUT LOOKS WHO COWERING IN THE SHADOWS NOW. GET YOUR CRINGE SELF OUTTTTAAAAA HERE. REAL LOVE > WEAKNESS ANY DAY.

LETS GO BOYS WE GOT THIS. PERSEVERE. STAY STRONG. IN A FEW MONTHS/YEARS WE'LL ALL LOOK BACK ON THIS TIME AND REMEMBER OUR HEROIC JOURNEYS. CAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE ARE. WE ARE HEROS!

TO DO'S:
- Eat healthy
- Finish supplemental
- Take a break from a screen every hour
- Think about Gary

DONT'S:
- Don't fantasize
- Don't be GARY
- Don't disappoint your future self
 
A

anubu0

Active Member
November 12, Day #23

No morning wood and very little libido. A flatline is very demotivating. Trust the process and results will come.

To Do's:
- Stay focused
- Eat health

Dont's:
- Don't be Gary
- Don't be WEAK!
 
A

anubu0

Active Member
November 13, Day #24

Last night I had a nightmare about relapse. It wasn't a wet dream, I thankfully woke myself up before it got to that stage. I won't describe all of the details but I was essentially watching two people have sex and was M'ing to it, one was a specific p star. I wasn't watching them through a computer screen, it felt more realistic and in my face.

That nightmare really scared me. I've realized now the sheer amount of dopamine that PMO'ing gives to me. In just that brief segment of my imagination, I felt so good that for a second when I woke up, I wanted to go straight back to sleep and just have the same dream. I stopped myself and then went back to sleep.

I have had some really nice swim practices thus far. My motivation and my focus are insane right now and I need to keep going. NoFap is giving me so many benefits, don't lose them for 10 minutes of pleasure. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION!!!!!!!!

If you can't get an erection with a real girl, a beautiful girl, in real life, don't EVEN CONSIDER MO'ing.

YOU CAN DO THIS. DO NOT FALTER. ITS NOT ABOUT STOPPING, ITS ABOUT ACCEPTING THAT YOU HAVE STOPPED!

TO DO'S:
- Be productive and study

DON'TS:
- Don't play video games today, there isn;'t enough time
- Don't PMO
- DON"T FANTACIZE!

 
Chris Oz

Chris Oz

Well-Known Member
Wow, i'm amazed at your progress and happy for you. Can't wait for you to reach the 30 day mark

Indeed porn is never an option and we need to find ways to remind ourselves daily of that fact, to never lose a beautiful sexual life and experience for 10 minutes of mindless pleasure to a computer.
 
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