Thanks guys!
Yeah - Chris, I am getting a lot out of it. It's really changing my perspective on dating
Jeks - Yeah man good to see you too! That was part of why I left it was just discouraging to see people disappear, glad you are hear though.
You were around when Blueheronfan was right? Man me and him were posting on each others journals for like a year plus, was shocked he disappeared. I think I'll always at least check in here to check on familiar faces. I guess at this point the "OGs" are left what, like me, you, do or die, squid (very sorry to anyone I missed! I didn't look thoroughly just went off a few names I recognized toward the top of the page)
Today I had another "instadate"! I met a girl in the park, we actually spent hours together. It was quite the experience. I had a good time but I was a bit triggered on the date, some things she said triggered some porn fetishy thoughts. I think it was mostly my mind making up bs. So being aware of that is helpful.
Overall it was a cool experience! Basically I have been on dates the last two days.
On the models book: It really changed my perspective I have spent years and years working on my pick up skills. By no means is that time all wasted, but it's like a never ending project and it doesn't seem to change much at this point. I feel like I was so often feeling like I had to up my skills or change things, or regretting it if a woman doesn't like me, analyzing etc.
But really - The mindset shift is like - Go for it, don't be sold on a girl just because she is hot AND if we don't date it is no big deal. It's pretty refeshing, basically I am just talking to women I find attractive and not worrying if nothing happens.
A few weeks ago I was going out with a friend to "work on my skills" I was working on the way I spoke - sure I worked on how I spoke but got 0 dates, 0 phone numbers 0 connecting conversations. Really actually going for it, going for the girl and two dates in two days.
Having successfully cut out fantasy to a high level- my drive for women is STRONG. It feels good. I WANT to go out and meet women. Rather then the old chore of going out to "work on my pick up skills".
I should mention - I had a slight craving a bit before posting. But I thought... man I love this drive to meet women I have. This DRIVE comes from the success of my reboot, the stopping of that old fantasizing about porn behaviour. So double down on it! I was a bit triggered by the girl. But the time with that girl was a success, and that success is coming from my drive, which is coming from avoiding my fantasy lol. So ... keep doing what I am doing! That was just the beggining.
I am excited..... I feel momentum building, good dates and connections with women are right around the corner. But the abstinance, my recovery and my life emotions etc come first! The enjoyable dating affection etc are just nice out growths of that.
Random: Considering doing a positivity challenge at some point for a week or so.... controlling my thoughts to focus on what I want ( rather then worrying about what I don't want)