TheHeartacheKid
Active Member
King Leer said:
Last sentence is so key. Brain constantly tries to find ways to push you back into what fuels the dopamine rush. You're doing well man!
Self analysis can be embarrassing
- Thread starter King Leer
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Last sentence is so key. Brain constantly tries to find ways to push you back into what fuels the dopamine rush. You're doing well man!
King Leer
Active Member
So I think I have made a little bit of progress. I'd stumbled across a nude photo of a woman while admittedly looking at scantily clad photos on social when I realized she was nude I ended up backing out did not allow myself to become aroused. Challenge will be to not think about it. Also it goes to show it's a bad idea to lurk around these scantily clad girl posts. I want to change completely not just refrain from watching porn, but be at a place that I do not sexualize or fantasize about other women. I know today was a hick-up but I think it went ok otherwise.
TheHeartacheKid
Active Member
You're doing good man. Idk if anybody can ever truly do away with fantasy or sexualizing that which they are attracted to. While we as addicts do it way too much, I think it's natural. So if it does happen, don't beat yourself up, I think it's normal to a degree. Trick will be not indulging in the fantasy and let overly occupy are thoughts.
But very impressive you backed out immediately! Great sign of progress!
But very impressive you backed out immediately! Great sign of progress!
King Leer
Active Member
So I fell off the wagon pretty hard a few days ago. It was that day I came across a nude I've been clean no fap no pmo for close to 4 days I think now and it's harder than it was before. I don't know why I started so strong. In a video I watched on YouTube they said typically it gets harder after 2 to 3 weeks of being free from no pmo.
Anyway back on the wagon. It's tough
Anyway back on the wagon. It's tough
TheHeartacheKid
Active Member
I don't think I've read a journal on here yet that didn't have relapses, it happens. I think doing the math, you made it nearly 4 weeks, which is incredible! There's no doubt you can fully beat this thing if you made it that long once. I know it feels shitty right now, but it's alright. Like you said, back on the wagon. But remember, you haven't undone your progress, just resetting a number is all. You're in good shape 
King Leer
Active Member
Back to day zero. Hopefully with the new work week will come the stability I need to control myself. I have forgiven myself I am moving on again. No one said it would be easy. I have been trying to quit for years I know it's not easy. Anyway hope everyone else is doing well
TheHeartacheKid
Active Member
Stay strong man, we all stumble, you can do this.
King Leer
Active Member
Today went well so far. There has been a lot of stress in the past weekend but I did my exercises and put the problems aside until I can actually solve them. I want to to well and I am feeling positive again, for a while there I was dragging with self doubt. Keeping my head up. Gonna give that pornocrap I one two punch. Thanks for everyone's support especially the heartache kid. Peace
brandon1984
Member
dude, that 2-3 week mark like you said!!!!!! I was shaking, like a real addict lol. This is crazy!! I'm married as well but the kicker is we are trying to get pregnant smh. So much pressure, so much anxiety. I'm getting back on the horse though!!
King Leer
Active Member
Today is seven days clean. The last week has been fairly easy. I don't know why. I was struggling on day two and I am far more against porn than fapping so I fapped that day just to relieve the tension because I could tell I was close to relapsing with porn. It seemed to work; though, I have not fapped since because I don't want to foster wrong thoughts either. I have done my best to reject fantasies and quickly leave social media posts that trigger me. It seems to be working. Though I know the two to three weeks barrier can be tough last time I relapsed after 28 days, but frankly that was a milestone for me. The longest I have ever made it without fapping and while having unrestricted access to the internet(i.e. no p blockers)
King Leer
Active Member
Do I have decided to do a personalized form of hard reboot. No p no m no o. No sex unless it was unquestionably initiated by my wife. I don't want to discuss my quitting with my wife cause she is really bad at weird conversations. This way if sex does happen it's not because I was just trying to satisfy my own urge.
King Leer
Active Member
So tired pretty stressed too. But today I was listening to the universal man podcast and he mentioned something about talking to yourself being realistic with yourself. "Yes porn would be exciting write now but later I will regret it." Type stuff. So I was thinking yeah porn would be great right now but then thought of course I would regret it tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. I am 10 days clean and still regretting the last time I relapsed. That kinda helped shock me out of my short term thinking.
TheHeartacheKid
Active Member
Hang in there man. 10 days back in, you're doing well! Glad you're starting some self talks, they are so beneficial with nearly everything, it takes practice, but you will get there I'm sure. Stay strong!
King Leer
Active Member
Thanks thk. Still doing pretty well I had a few small set backs with social media. It's clear that mindless scrolling at night gets me into trouble. I stay up too late lose my guard and stumble across something. It seems like at least at night I am far better off just watching my shows. That will have to be a new rule for me if I am going to succeed in the long term. Still porn Free though and for that I am oh so grateful. Time seems to be crawling by 15 days free has felt like an eternity. But I am grateful too for the struggle. It lets me know I am still alive and fighting.
imsorrynotsorry
Active Member
Hello King Leer,
It's very important to know about the process of addiction. On one hand you 'feel' like you want to watch P and ob the other hand you know that it's resetting your reboot. To know about this dilemma is a muscle one can train and that muscle is growing bigger and bigger the more you face difficult situations and the more you decide for the part where you're going on without P. I say, very important to know about that, but it's only one piece of the puzzle.
All the best
Imsor
It's very important to know about the process of addiction. On one hand you 'feel' like you want to watch P and ob the other hand you know that it's resetting your reboot. To know about this dilemma is a muscle one can train and that muscle is growing bigger and bigger the more you face difficult situations and the more you decide for the part where you're going on without P. I say, very important to know about that, but it's only one piece of the puzzle.
All the best
Imsor