quitforeverthenwin2
Well-Known Member
Hey man, way to go keeping up the good fight.
I can relate to how you are thinking, I thought that way a few years ago. The intense pressure and extreme emotions.
I recommend actually being a bit easier on yourself and taking the pressure off a bit.
I've found getting all riled up "this is the last TIME!!!" doesn't actually do much for making it the last time. The consistent work does. But when one is really hard oneself being consistent is hard - as each mistake seems like erases everything and progress is all gone.
When I've succeeded in cutting things out, I wasn't super amped up and mad when I did it.
And hey, give yourself credit for what you have got. You have a job ( even if you don't like it). You are good looking and strong and in great shape (that is all awesome). I am not surprised the girl was into you at the gym even with the lapse....
Quitting porn is really important but it is not the only aspect of life. Also for myself - I have always done better when I don't count days.
Basically I am saying all this stuff because I can relate so much to the way you are thinking and feeling - I felt similarly and though I am not perfect by any means I feel a lot better.
Two more things I guess haha
1) You can always choose to not look at porn. Thats a big one. No matter how strong the urge or even if you open your computer.
The one time this year I almost looked at porn this year, I entered a url into the web browser on my phone it was loading up but no images yet. I closed the page and haven't looked back since. You can always choose.
2) Hammering this point again - getting all angry and riled up doesn't necessarily help. It's the actions in the moments of urges that matter.
Like I would think about avoiding porn all day, but laying in bed at night I would still lapse. The only time that mattered was the times I'd lapse. By focusing all my energy on that time - it was less effort AND more importantly much more successful.
So perhaps you can give yourself some credit - relax a bit. Enjoy working out, set some chief aims that are not related to avoiding porn. Then have a game plan for when urges hit you. (i.e. go for a walk, meditate) and PLAN bs - like if meditation isn't working go for a walk, clean etc. and put most of the willpower into those times
You have the will man! It's just a matter of figuring out the alchemy of working hard but not being too hard on yourself
I can relate to how you are thinking, I thought that way a few years ago. The intense pressure and extreme emotions.
I recommend actually being a bit easier on yourself and taking the pressure off a bit.
I've found getting all riled up "this is the last TIME!!!" doesn't actually do much for making it the last time. The consistent work does. But when one is really hard oneself being consistent is hard - as each mistake seems like erases everything and progress is all gone.
When I've succeeded in cutting things out, I wasn't super amped up and mad when I did it.
And hey, give yourself credit for what you have got. You have a job ( even if you don't like it). You are good looking and strong and in great shape (that is all awesome). I am not surprised the girl was into you at the gym even with the lapse....
Quitting porn is really important but it is not the only aspect of life. Also for myself - I have always done better when I don't count days.
Basically I am saying all this stuff because I can relate so much to the way you are thinking and feeling - I felt similarly and though I am not perfect by any means I feel a lot better.
Two more things I guess haha
1) You can always choose to not look at porn. Thats a big one. No matter how strong the urge or even if you open your computer.
The one time this year I almost looked at porn this year, I entered a url into the web browser on my phone it was loading up but no images yet. I closed the page and haven't looked back since. You can always choose.
2) Hammering this point again - getting all angry and riled up doesn't necessarily help. It's the actions in the moments of urges that matter.
Like I would think about avoiding porn all day, but laying in bed at night I would still lapse. The only time that mattered was the times I'd lapse. By focusing all my energy on that time - it was less effort AND more importantly much more successful.
So perhaps you can give yourself some credit - relax a bit. Enjoy working out, set some chief aims that are not related to avoiding porn. Then have a game plan for when urges hit you. (i.e. go for a walk, meditate) and PLAN bs - like if meditation isn't working go for a walk, clean etc. and put most of the willpower into those times
You have the will man! It's just a matter of figuring out the alchemy of working hard but not being too hard on yourself