Hello,
I'm 36 and over the last 20 years I have had various addictions to certain degrees.. alcohol, weed, food, gambling, and porn induced disfunction.. porn for about 10 years but everyday and multiple times....I'm about 4 years free from cigarettes...
Up until a few months ago the addictions didnt bother me too much.. maybe it did but I masked my problems with the addictions.. but recently I have been feeling real lonely that even the addictions cant mask no more......and I knew it was now definately time to sort it out for good...
In december I went 3.5 weeks off alcohol weed and junk food but I relapsed after Christmas... I picked myself up just over a week ago and gave up Alcohol, weed, and junk food again and it's been going real well...I've been swimming...
I found some new sources of info and found actualized.org and getting into a self actualized life .. its truely an amazing source for self development and is what helped me find my pied problem.. I thought I just needed to do kegels and take some libido.. how wrong was I..
......it's pretty amazing opening my mind to this stuff and realizing that I always failed to remain sober because I focused on the external aspects rather than focusing on the internal...
For example losing weight because I wanted to show off my new body... and not doing it for say internal reasons like not wanting the consumption of the poison...
Watching lots of videos I somehow stumbled on Noah's videos and it all started to click that porn has done some serious damage to myself... im even now realizing porn has done more damage than the other addictions... I've had anxiety for 15 years and now I am confident it's because of pied... im also always tired ...so in the last day my world has been flipped upside down... I never cried in my adult life but now I have alot but I feel at least some of it is the joy of now having the tools and being able to remove the curse of the addictions.... Its all is starting to make sense...
So today I went sober on porn day 1...and I'm also doing no fap...
I'm not sure how no fap will go but I'm definitely going to stay off porn and see what happens with no fap...
Last night I was awake all night I couldnt sleep usually I masterbate to sleep...
I actually really like this girl too but geeze it's real bad timing I would like to heal and reboot at least abit before I talk to her.. I was even thinking of asking to be friends with her...
I've been single for a few years now and havnt had sex since then...
I'm going to share my story here to help with the healing process...
To keep these addictions managed forever I feel I will need to keep up the work to maintain them...
I will report back soon
I'm 36 and over the last 20 years I have had various addictions to certain degrees.. alcohol, weed, food, gambling, and porn induced disfunction.. porn for about 10 years but everyday and multiple times....I'm about 4 years free from cigarettes...
Up until a few months ago the addictions didnt bother me too much.. maybe it did but I masked my problems with the addictions.. but recently I have been feeling real lonely that even the addictions cant mask no more......and I knew it was now definately time to sort it out for good...
In december I went 3.5 weeks off alcohol weed and junk food but I relapsed after Christmas... I picked myself up just over a week ago and gave up Alcohol, weed, and junk food again and it's been going real well...I've been swimming...
I found some new sources of info and found actualized.org and getting into a self actualized life .. its truely an amazing source for self development and is what helped me find my pied problem.. I thought I just needed to do kegels and take some libido.. how wrong was I..
......it's pretty amazing opening my mind to this stuff and realizing that I always failed to remain sober because I focused on the external aspects rather than focusing on the internal...
For example losing weight because I wanted to show off my new body... and not doing it for say internal reasons like not wanting the consumption of the poison...
Watching lots of videos I somehow stumbled on Noah's videos and it all started to click that porn has done some serious damage to myself... im even now realizing porn has done more damage than the other addictions... I've had anxiety for 15 years and now I am confident it's because of pied... im also always tired ...so in the last day my world has been flipped upside down... I never cried in my adult life but now I have alot but I feel at least some of it is the joy of now having the tools and being able to remove the curse of the addictions.... Its all is starting to make sense...
So today I went sober on porn day 1...and I'm also doing no fap...
I'm not sure how no fap will go but I'm definitely going to stay off porn and see what happens with no fap...
Last night I was awake all night I couldnt sleep usually I masterbate to sleep...
I actually really like this girl too but geeze it's real bad timing I would like to heal and reboot at least abit before I talk to her.. I was even thinking of asking to be friends with her...
I've been single for a few years now and havnt had sex since then...
I'm going to share my story here to help with the healing process...
To keep these addictions managed forever I feel I will need to keep up the work to maintain them...
I will report back soon