Hi All,
My name is Pippin. I'm 29 years old, and I have been struggling with a fap/porn/sex chatting addiction for a very very long time.
I have acknowledged that this is a problem several times before, but have never managed to get the discipline and find the energy to really fight this thing.
However, especially the last year I've realized more and more how much this is slowly ruining me. Although I've had some kinky interests as long as I can remember, the constant fapping on porn and sex chatting websites has escalated my relatively innocent fantasies to pretty extreme hardcore BDSM. Stuff that now turns me on behind the computer screen are things I never ever would want to experience myself.
Although the intensity of me watching these things varies throughout the year, it's pretty clear that I'm addicted and that it is ruining my life. Especially my social/love life.
Although I know I'm gay I have never had a boyfriend, and never had a loving relationship with anyone. Despite strong cravings for BDSM porn/chatting, I know deep down that what I really want is a warm loving relationship. This is even more confirmed by my experience real-life with BDSM. Although I never experienced the extreme stuff I watch online, I did experiment several times with BDSM in real life. And guess what? It never really turned me on that much real life. So another sign that my brain is totally sensitized to the porn, not to my real sexual desires.
I'm feeling so stuck now that I know that this porn addiction is the thing that is preventing me from having a relationship. I guess because I know and feel deep down that I am so sensitized to porn, I won't be able to 'perform' during real sex. This deep insecurity
is what probably has ruined every romantic date i've had.
So: it's time to really start to get rid of this BDSM fapping addiction. As I've been addicted for over a decade, I don't think expect it will become easy, but that doesn't mean I can't do it. Few months ago I started with Zen meditation, and I have the feeling that this may be the perfect tool to help me deal with this addiction.
My plan:
-I'll start with 30 days nofap.
-delete all my sex chatting apps
-block all porn websites on my browser
-meditate 3x per day for 20 minutes
-turn of all my electronic devices after 20:00
My motivational vision for the future:
To motivate myself, I see myself with my future relationship. Anytime I feel tempted to fap to BDSM porn/chats, I remind myself of my deepest desire: a loving relationship.
Lets do this!
My name is Pippin. I'm 29 years old, and I have been struggling with a fap/porn/sex chatting addiction for a very very long time.
I have acknowledged that this is a problem several times before, but have never managed to get the discipline and find the energy to really fight this thing.
However, especially the last year I've realized more and more how much this is slowly ruining me. Although I've had some kinky interests as long as I can remember, the constant fapping on porn and sex chatting websites has escalated my relatively innocent fantasies to pretty extreme hardcore BDSM. Stuff that now turns me on behind the computer screen are things I never ever would want to experience myself.
Although the intensity of me watching these things varies throughout the year, it's pretty clear that I'm addicted and that it is ruining my life. Especially my social/love life.
Although I know I'm gay I have never had a boyfriend, and never had a loving relationship with anyone. Despite strong cravings for BDSM porn/chatting, I know deep down that what I really want is a warm loving relationship. This is even more confirmed by my experience real-life with BDSM. Although I never experienced the extreme stuff I watch online, I did experiment several times with BDSM in real life. And guess what? It never really turned me on that much real life. So another sign that my brain is totally sensitized to the porn, not to my real sexual desires.
I'm feeling so stuck now that I know that this porn addiction is the thing that is preventing me from having a relationship. I guess because I know and feel deep down that I am so sensitized to porn, I won't be able to 'perform' during real sex. This deep insecurity
is what probably has ruined every romantic date i've had.
So: it's time to really start to get rid of this BDSM fapping addiction. As I've been addicted for over a decade, I don't think expect it will become easy, but that doesn't mean I can't do it. Few months ago I started with Zen meditation, and I have the feeling that this may be the perfect tool to help me deal with this addiction.
My plan:
-I'll start with 30 days nofap.
-delete all my sex chatting apps
-block all porn websites on my browser
-meditate 3x per day for 20 minutes
-turn of all my electronic devices after 20:00
My motivational vision for the future:
To motivate myself, I see myself with my future relationship. Anytime I feel tempted to fap to BDSM porn/chats, I remind myself of my deepest desire: a loving relationship.
Lets do this!