One day at a time

Timetoheal -- Don't be to hard on yourself. This is a journey and I have had several relapses in the past and have failed to completely quit PMO. I recently decided based on my journal post 30 days ago that I was completely defeated and deflated, but I dug into several resources that I have posted about that helped me. In context they are based on my faith but hopefully you can understand regardless of your position that you can do this. Start over, your covered in Grace, and move on and learn from your triggers and urges. We have all been there but the good news is we all are all here trying to be better men! GOD Bless you
Thank you for your kind works address it does help to know that I am not the only one who has stubbled on this journey to become free from porn. I have taken a lot of time to reflect and learn from my relapse and it proves this journey won’t be easy but it will be worth it. I continue to just take it one day at a time.
 
Sorry for your recent struggle, Time... But I like your attitude here, that it's another fresh start- just like each new day is for us.

For your count, it may be day 1, but don't dismiss the days prior that you abstained, that also counts toward your healing.
Thank you for your kind words. You are totally right I have abstained for longer then ever before. So that proves I can do this I just have to learn from my mistakes and get back on the horse so to speak.
 
I haven’t been on in awhile and i have been struggle with porn use again. I have done a lot of soul searching and think that I have a stronger urge then ever to beat this evil demon. The feeling of head fog and depression have set in again and it is not a place I want to waste my time. I need to get my life under control and beat this. I have rewatched some of the YBOP videos and it made me realize what I am doing is just feeding the evil beast in my head and I need to cut him off once and for all. Here to starting once again up the ladder to success. I have a clear picture of what triggered my relapse and need to focus harder on avoiding them. This place is a huge help to me and I wish you all success on your journeys as well
 
I am currently on day 4 without any p or m after my recent relapse and I am learning so much about myself and that I can do this. The ethers do creep in now and then but I snap myself out of it with thoughts of how it made me feeling watching p and also thinking of the life I want to build with the girl in my life. We have been together 2 years and I have never been able to cum during sex with her. It has brought me a lot of shame and although she has questioned it she had been patient with me. I have never been able to tell her the true reason why I am not able to cum. I am working up the courage to tell her it’s not easy but it would be a huge step for me to tell her the truth and that I want to become better then that. Sending positive vibes to all of you recovering or struggling to
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Good luck to you. It's a hard struggle for sure. Glad you decided to come back. This forum is helping me stay focused. Any time I get a serious urge, I come and read the journals. I love success stories, but I also love seeing people struggling just like me. Somehow it helps knowing there are others out there going through the same things.

You can do this!
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Congrats on day 4-5, Time!

Hoping the best for you and your girl. That's a difficult call, but it would give her understanding... It could also 'test' how understanding she will be of the 'imperfect you', the 'struggling you'...

My wife knows of my past struggles with all this, but I more or less keep my own (current, if any) struggles to myself..., but that's our [unfortunate] dynamics...

Regardless, do it first for yourself- and then, do it for her. It sounds like you got a great lady.
 
I am sick of the cycle I have been stuck in. So far I have made it to the two week mark before caving and going back to my old ways only to end up feeling down and defeated. It has been 4 days since I last pmo and this time I really want to make it off porn for good. I am tired of the vicious cycle that leaves me feeling down. It's time to start living again. I have started an exercise routine and I think that will give me something else to focus on. At this point I know what I need to do I just have to find my own strength and beat this once and for all.
 
To day I am feeling strong and able to resist the urges but I know I must stay vigilant as it only takes one moment of weakness to slip back to my old ways. Reading what others are going through reassures me that this is possible. I really want to be one of those guys proud to be at 30 or 60 days and going strong but I also don't want to set my sights on a far off target and focus more on making it one day at a time and in some cases one moment at a time. I want to leave this evil world of porn behind me once and for all and know I have a long road ahead but one worth taking. Sending much love to all the others struggling down this road together we can all make it.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
I hit 60 days a few days ago. I'm still struggling. I've had my ups and downs but I am moving forward. Take it one day at a time. Don't look to hit 60 days, 90 days. Just get through today. Although I have my bad days, I'm still determined not to go back.

Have a great day today. Be positive, find something you enjoy to focus on. Stay strong.
 
So far I am having a good week. I have been. Keeping busy between work and getting things done around the house. Seeing things getting done makes me feel good and gives me strength to be the man I want to be free of this life sucking addiction. The urges haven't been to bad the last couple of days but I know I can't let my guard down. A few times my mind has started to wander back to those thoughts but I have been able to shake them off and refocus on something positive. It's been a good 3 days since any pmo and I look forward to another day free of it tomorrow. It feels good to not have to lie to my girl about what I have been doing all day or feeling the shame or making sure I have hid what I have been up too. This is the man I want to be. I have learned a lot about what triggers me and drags me back to pmo and I feel stronger now that I can fend them off.
 
Another day done and another day pmo free. I am feeling really good and know that despite the ups and downs on thus journey to recovery I want to be free of porn and the many ill affects of being addicted to it. A few times the thoughts started to creep in but I was able to shrug it off and move on to something else. I am proud to say it's been 4 days since my last relapse and here's to many more or these pmo free days ahead. Last time I went 2 weeks before giving into the temptations for me my goal is to get back to 2 weeks again and beyond.
 
Day 5 complete and it was a good day I kept busy with work and didn't have any thoughts relating to pmo. I know the temptation will creep in again and I am keeping strong. I have also limited my social media exposure as well as I find sometimes that can act as a bit of a trigger sitting online sometimes makes my mind wonder into my old thoughts so best to avoid or at least limit that. I am looking forward to reaching my one week goal and beyond.
 
Day 6 is complete and I did start to stumble a bit but did manage to pull myself out before It was to late. I was tempted to log into and old chat site I use to frequent but when the page opened I realized I couldn't throw away the good week I have been having so quickly closed it before I engaged. I am proud that I could pull myself back from the edge this time. Had i engaged I know it would have drawn me right back in like an old friend but this is one friend I no longer have time for. Instead I got out for a long walk with my dog and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon. This is going to be a long hard road but I want to be a better person not hiding at home wasting my days on pmo. To all the others struggling stay strong we can do this.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Good job on pulling yourself out, Time!

Be aware of any further urges that may arise because you acted on the other urges in opening the site. This time, dismiss the urges without acting either for or against them. Be nonjudgmental with yourself, and breathe through until the urges pass.

Be well.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Day 6 is complete and I did start to stumble a bit but did manage to pull myself out before It was to late. I was tempted to log into and old chat site I use to frequent but when the page opened I realized I couldn't throw away the good week I have been having so quickly closed it before I engaged. I am proud that I could pull myself back from the edge this time. Had i engaged I know it would have drawn me right back in like an old friend but this is one friend I no longer have time for. Instead I got out for a long walk with my dog and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon. This is going to be a long hard road but I want to be a better person not hiding at home wasting my days on pmo. To all the others struggling stay strong we can do this.
Hang in there TimeToHeal. It is a long road with bumps, curves and potholes. But I believe as long as we stay on the road or get back to the road if we stray off it all will eventually get us to where we want to go.

You are doing great. Thanks for your support as well.
 
Hang in there TimeToHeal. It is a long road with bumps, curves and potholes. But I believe as long as we stay on the road or get back to the road if we stray off it all will eventually get us to where we want to go.

You are doing great. Thanks for your support as well.
Thanks so much guitar this is a great place and it gives me strength knowing I am not alone in this battle.
 
It's been awhile since I posted and unfortunately I have had a rough couple of weeks with relapes and self loathing but I have finally found my way back to this site and started reading some of the journals and success stories and think to myself I really want to be one of those guys that is getting shit done and kicking ass.

Today I turn 41 and the last few days I have been doing a lot of self reflecting and thinking why have I been stumbling. What the hell is triggering my relapse back into the dark depths of my addiction. I really think I need to look at this different then in the past. Before I looked at it as I am losing porn but instead i need to start looking at it as taking back control of my life. I am not losing anything I am gaining back my life. The life I want to live free of this addiction.

So this year my gift to myself is gaining control of my life and taking this hard journey to better myself. I am taking this leap again to be free from the big monster in my head and I know it's going to be hard as hell but I need to find me the real me again not this porn addicted mess I have become.

Thank you everyone for your support and sharing your struggles and success. It helps me a lot to read what others are going through. I know deep down I can do this so here's to 41 years old and day one of my journey. What better gift could I give myself
 
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