One day at a time

:'(I am new here and just starting my journey down this road to recovery. I am 40 years old and have been addicted to porn for many years. It all started like many of you did at an early age probably around 12. For many years I felt it was normal and I could control it but the beast grew within me. I was married for 10 years and my ex wife and I never had sex so of course I often turned to the old partner that never turned me down and was one click away. At first it was once in a while which grew into 3 or 4 times a week sometimes more. I always did it hid away when no one is home and I had time to myself. I have been separated for 5 years now and living alone has made my addiction explode. I had more time to my self and there were days I would spend hours watching p and using online chat rooms to find sexual chat partners. After these I was so full of shame and regret and in a complete mind fog. I felt numb inside and helpless. I have wanted to beat this for so long but never could get a plan. I have someone in my life now that I really care about and we have been dating for almost 2 years. I have hid this ugly side of me but I want to beat this and start a life with her. I feel shame as I do suffer from not being able to climax with her.  One night after one of my marathon sessions I looked for help and stumbled onto reboot nation and I like this approach.  It helped me to learn how my brain was affected and that what I felt was all because my brain had wired itself to this behaviour. I am only on day top of my journey but one step at a time, one day at a time I am comitted to beating this evil. Posting my story makes it all feel real and reading others story?s let?s me know I am not alone on this journey. Much love to all of you fighting this fight along side of me
 
Well it?s day 3 and fighting the urges hard this morning but hey I am in it to win it this time. This ol brain of mine it is craving but I am not giving in. Hey am going to spend my day doing some long put off projects that were pushed aside to make time for p and chat rooms but not anymore. I am strong and I totally got this so far so good brothers. To all the other fighters out there struggling a bit today too keep strong and fight the fight you got this too. To those that do stumble get back up dust yourself off and get back on track no shame in that you?re a warrior
 
Thank you workinprogressUK for your encouragement all the best to you on your journey as well. I know it won?t be easy but it will be worth it to get my life back and become the man I want to be.
 

JerryTX

Member
One day at a time is perfect.  That is exactly how to take this journey.  Ups/Downs but keep fighting the good fight.
 
Thank you JerryTX. So far it?s been working and I am not looking at large goals at this point just focusing on each day and trying to hold the course. I am not ending day 4 strong and committed to beating this evil force within my head. Take care brother and I wish you all the best on your journey as well.
 
I am now on day 5. I am staying strong and although the urge to masterbate is present in my mind I am not giving in. I am committed this time and looking forward to getting one week. For me I have never stopped for a full week before so the thought of getting to that point and beyond is rewarding. For me it?s not about long term goals I am just taking it step by step day by day. I have been keeping myself busy with other tasks to fill the time I spend hidden from the world watching p. It?s surprising how much more of my day I have to enjoy with things that are fulfilling life is good brothers
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Hey Time To Heal ... just wanted to say congrats on your strength and courage. 

You are about to get to 1 week, and that's a great thing, just take things one day at a time ... one small step then another.  You are about to enter a new place you have never been before so embrace it, celebrate it .... and know you can go many steps further.   
 
Thank you for your kind words Nick Simens. Reading others stories of reaching many more days then I have gives me hope and makes me push forward. I like this place it is very helpful and encouraging to me. I want to be free from this evil once and for all and I am like you said taking it one step at a time and will celebrate the little milestones along the way.
 

jjacks

Active Member
Good work, timetoheal. Keep vigilant and keep counting days and keep writing in your journal here and the healing will happen. Simply put by a wise friend, "porn is not an option".
 
I love that jjacks thank you and it?s so true porn is definitely not an option anymore and these cravings that pop up are just my brain trying to play tricks on me but I am wiser now and my will is stronger then those urges now.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Welcome to Reboot Nation, Timetoheal.

I'm glad for your will power, as that is key.

Yet it seems that the habit itself seems to take over at times, and our determination be damned.

So, it's not will power alone, but learn to habitually dismiss urges when they come (instead of reacting to them, for or against).

Always be nonjudgmental with yourself, and you can outlast any urge.

Rooting for you, brother!
 
Thank you so much for you wise words Phineas. I have read many of your writings in other journeys and you always have great advice to give. I have learned that they urges can strike at anytime and out of the blue so your so right that I have to be prepared to fight through them. Thank you and I wish you all e best as well
 
Day 7 and am still holding strong although the urges have been strong today. I have kept busy and avoided falling back to my old habits. I am noticing a bit of mind fog today as well and I am sure it’s to do with my mind fighting me for a fix. I want this more then ever so I am not giving in this time. I got this!!
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Great job TTH ... you do have this. You may also want to read through a bunch of the success stories on this forum or on the YBOP site - I find that provides me with a steadying influence (especially when the urges flare up). See yourself in their shoes and feel the joy that come after they break through. Stay strong!
 
Great job TTH ... you do have this. You may also want to read through a bunch of the success stories on this forum or on the YBOP site - I find that provides me with a steadying influence (especially when the urges flare up). See yourself in their shoes and feel the joy that come after they break through. Stay strong!
Thanks for your support nick. I have read a lot of different stories on here and I find it very helpful. Reading of others that have made it months and years gives me inspiration and reading about their experiences reassured me that the feelings I go through are all part of the process of becoming the person I want to be. Wishing you success on your journey as well!
 
I have been busy and haven’t updated in awhile but I am happy to report that I am on day 15 with no porn and still feeling strong. I did masterbate twice this past week but I did it without porn just thoughts of my girl who I haven’t seen in 3 weeks. We do not live together and because of restrictions due to covid in my area we cannot travel to see each other. I do have mixed feelings about masterbating after the fact. Was it the right thing to do? However being porn free for 2 weeks I do consider a win. I do have some urges but so far have resisted that temptation. I am serious I want to get off porn for good this time.
 
Well almost 3 weeks and I hit a bad patch and relapsed back into my old ways again. It’s Something I am not proud of but definitely something that I need to work through and get myself back on track. This has definitely taught me that I need to be more aware and pay attention to the little things that can easily draw me back into Pmo. So although I am back to day one it’s definitely another fresh start and once again I will re focus and get back on track.
 

JerryTX

Member
Well almost 3 weeks and I hit a bad patch and relapsed back into my old ways again. It’s Something I am not proud of but definitely something that I need to work through and get myself back on track. This has definitely taught me that I need to be more aware and pay attention to the little things that can easily draw me back into Pmo. So although I am back to day one it’s definitely another fresh start and once again I will re focus and get back on track.
Timetoheal -- Don't be to hard on yourself. This is a journey and I have had several relapses in the past and have failed to completely quit PMO. I recently decided based on my journal post 30 days ago that I was completely defeated and deflated, but I dug into several resources that I have posted about that helped me. In context they are based on my faith but hopefully you can understand regardless of your position that you can do this. Start over, your covered in Grace, and move on and learn from your triggers and urges. We have all been there but the good news is we all are all here trying to be better men! GOD Bless you
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
So although I am back to day one it’s definitely another fresh start and once again I will re focus and get back on track.

Sorry for your recent struggle, Time... But I like your attitude here, that it's another fresh start- just like each new day is for us.

For your count, it may be day 1, but don't dismiss the days prior that you abstained, that also counts toward your healing.
 
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