Timetoheal2396
Member
:'(I am new here and just starting my journey down this road to recovery. I am 40 years old and have been addicted to porn for many years. It all started like many of you did at an early age probably around 12. For many years I felt it was normal and I could control it but the beast grew within me. I was married for 10 years and my ex wife and I never had sex so of course I often turned to the old partner that never turned me down and was one click away. At first it was once in a while which grew into 3 or 4 times a week sometimes more. I always did it hid away when no one is home and I had time to myself. I have been separated for 5 years now and living alone has made my addiction explode. I had more time to my self and there were days I would spend hours watching p and using online chat rooms to find sexual chat partners. After these I was so full of shame and regret and in a complete mind fog. I felt numb inside and helpless. I have wanted to beat this for so long but never could get a plan. I have someone in my life now that I really care about and we have been dating for almost 2 years. I have hid this ugly side of me but I want to beat this and start a life with her. I feel shame as I do suffer from not being able to climax with her. One night after one of my marathon sessions I looked for help and stumbled onto reboot nation and I like this approach. It helped me to learn how my brain was affected and that what I felt was all because my brain had wired itself to this behaviour. I am only on day top of my journey but one step at a time, one day at a time I am comitted to beating this evil. Posting my story makes it all feel real and reading others story?s let?s me know I am not alone on this journey. Much love to all of you fighting this fight along side of me