Reclaiming the present
- Thread starter Dannybou
- Start date
I relapsed today morning.
Why: I was not mentally prepared for being this ridiculously horny.
Trigger: Deciding to just peek at escort sites in my area. Stupid, stupid decision. My girlfriend is in another country right now and I'll meet her in a couple of weeks. There is this messed up side of me that popped up and I started thinking things like "Oh I've never been with an x girl or a y girl, why not just do it? She'll never find out, and you can go back to your happy relationship having scratched that itch. At least check out the sites, what's the harm in that" I don't normally give these thoughts any weight, but the horniness and the long distance made those ideas a lot louder.
Finally, while a part of me was considering whether to contact someone, another bit was like "just look at the pictures, have a wank and get rid of these dangerous thoughts." And today I did. Now the idea of actually cheating on my girlfriend who I love to bits sounds so ridiculous.
I feel guilty about watching the porn/ sites, mixed with relief I didn't actually go through with physically cheating, and guilty again that I even thought about it. I'm going to take some time to process this. 23 days was good, but i need to be ready to hit this point and get past this phase next time.
Day 0 again.
Why: I was not mentally prepared for being this ridiculously horny.
Trigger: Deciding to just peek at escort sites in my area. Stupid, stupid decision. My girlfriend is in another country right now and I'll meet her in a couple of weeks. There is this messed up side of me that popped up and I started thinking things like "Oh I've never been with an x girl or a y girl, why not just do it? She'll never find out, and you can go back to your happy relationship having scratched that itch. At least check out the sites, what's the harm in that" I don't normally give these thoughts any weight, but the horniness and the long distance made those ideas a lot louder.
Finally, while a part of me was considering whether to contact someone, another bit was like "just look at the pictures, have a wank and get rid of these dangerous thoughts." And today I did. Now the idea of actually cheating on my girlfriend who I love to bits sounds so ridiculous.
I feel guilty about watching the porn/ sites, mixed with relief I didn't actually go through with physically cheating, and guilty again that I even thought about it. I'm going to take some time to process this. 23 days was good, but i need to be ready to hit this point and get past this phase next time.
Day 0 again.