Hello everyone.
I am a 30 year old husband that has been addicted to PMO since age 9. I have struggled with extreme personality and mental health changes for the last 9 years. Brain fog almost everyday. It took me 20 years to realize that P is not normal and that it has withered away at who I am. It took me until yesterday to realize that MO everyday was not normal and also damaging me. My wife of 9 years is aware of my struggles and I am blessed she has been so patient with me. My first look at P were pictures I found under my brothers mattress and it slowly turned into an obssession from there. I was a very outgoing child always happy and always had friends. After about 2 years I started to become shy and lose friends after trying to introduce them to P. By the time I was in 7th grade I would stay up until 4am searching the internet for the next high. By the time i was a junior in high school I started to look at females as nothing more than objects and becane very isolated in my social life from friends. I would always have a girlfriend or some girl to just use and treated them like things. I met my wife in college and we got married after a couple years. During this time I started losing confidence and started to be depressed. I didnt feel real emotions anymore and the ideal of sex did not sound appealing to me unless it was P. These last 5 years for me have been a fog of anxiety and depression. My memory declined and I could barely carry a conversation with someone that wasnt work related. I no longer felt any sort of pleasure mentally or physically. 130 days ago i made it my mission to quit watching P. I made it to 80 days before relapsing. In those 80 days my anxiety was gone, I had a morning erection for the first time in 8 years, I cried, I felt real joy. The problem is I did not stop MO or rewire with my wife. MO led to fantasy and 2 relapses. Yesterday after finding reboot nation I discovered what I really need to do to reclaim my life that has been robbed by PMO. I cannot wait to be completely free.
I am a 30 year old husband that has been addicted to PMO since age 9. I have struggled with extreme personality and mental health changes for the last 9 years. Brain fog almost everyday. It took me 20 years to realize that P is not normal and that it has withered away at who I am. It took me until yesterday to realize that MO everyday was not normal and also damaging me. My wife of 9 years is aware of my struggles and I am blessed she has been so patient with me. My first look at P were pictures I found under my brothers mattress and it slowly turned into an obssession from there. I was a very outgoing child always happy and always had friends. After about 2 years I started to become shy and lose friends after trying to introduce them to P. By the time I was in 7th grade I would stay up until 4am searching the internet for the next high. By the time i was a junior in high school I started to look at females as nothing more than objects and becane very isolated in my social life from friends. I would always have a girlfriend or some girl to just use and treated them like things. I met my wife in college and we got married after a couple years. During this time I started losing confidence and started to be depressed. I didnt feel real emotions anymore and the ideal of sex did not sound appealing to me unless it was P. These last 5 years for me have been a fog of anxiety and depression. My memory declined and I could barely carry a conversation with someone that wasnt work related. I no longer felt any sort of pleasure mentally or physically. 130 days ago i made it my mission to quit watching P. I made it to 80 days before relapsing. In those 80 days my anxiety was gone, I had a morning erection for the first time in 8 years, I cried, I felt real joy. The problem is I did not stop MO or rewire with my wife. MO led to fantasy and 2 relapses. Yesterday after finding reboot nation I discovered what I really need to do to reclaim my life that has been robbed by PMO. I cannot wait to be completely free.
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