try not to focus on things that the recovery hasnt done for you. those things will come just give them time. focus instead on the great things quitting porn has done for you, and realize that list will gorw and grow if you stick to it!
There's nothing called "balance" with porn and its triggers. You either avoid it totally or get sucked in and relapse.
Focus on the recovery prasamaccus. You can't fix it all, all at once. You'll be much better equipped to deal with other issues once the PMO is gone and done away with, because you'll be a person with much more energy and clarity.
Hobbies are great! Keep adding a diversity of things. Maybe something that involves you being physical, like mountain climbing or dancing. Believe!
Hey how are you, first off I want to say you’re not alone, we’re all trying our best, take it day by day.
secondly what does p sub mean, I’m still building my reboot plan and my working vocab
Yes, it's a hard thing to relapse after 90 days. I badly relapsed after a year. But somewhere, somehow, something wasn't working that made us vulnerable to relapse. I don't think PMO will ever done away with, but I think we can use it as an opportunity to change ourselves for the better. Porn addiction need not be the end, as it were, but a prelude. I also think that PMO isn't dealt with unless your overall life is in balance. We have the capacity to be gripped and enthusiastic over so many things; like Gabe says in one of his videos, getting rid of PMO is more about introducing new positive things into your life. I remember I once read that a lot US soldiers in Vietnam got addicted to morphine, but once they returned home most of them kind of naturally got off it. Why? I think they got back to good, balanced lives, with family, friends, social commitments, personal projects, work, hobbies, etc. This is the stuff that beats addiction.Is PMO ever totally gone and done away with? As I've said, I've done 90 day streaks and that kind of thing, but still I'm obviously not totally immune to acting out. Perhaps I'm like a "dry drunk" in some ways. Of course a person could change his lifestyle sufficiently to make it harder and harder for him to relapse, but he might still be prone at certain times. The best laid plans and all that. And I guess some people really do achieve long-term, reliable sobriety. But still they shouldn't be complacent. How are you doing, Wolfman?
Hobbies are definitely great. I do a lot of walking too, which is a great exercise as you don't get easily injured as you do with many other physical activities, so you don't need to take days off to recover. And I live in a hilly area so the walks tend to be quite physical. I'd like to get back into the habit of doing (safe) workouts of whatever kind soon too. I do stuff occasionally but not on a regular basis any more. But yeah, I do plenty of walking and quite a lot of mildly physical work, so I'm fairly fit.
Earlier I did some language learning and felt quite satisfied after doing it. Then I went for a walk and met a couple of people I didn't want to meet, which was awkward. When I got back home I played a video game for rather too long, which was almost certainly a reaction to this social thing (the people I met were the parents of a former "friend" of mine, whom I dumped, if that's the right word to use. A long story). But I also had a fairly productive day, including finishing that electronics project, hopefully. I haven't done a final test on it yet but it should be okay. And no acting out.
Yes, it's a hard thing to relapse after 90 days. I badly relapsed after a year. But somewhere, somehow, something wasn't working that made us vulnerable to relapse. I don't think PMO will ever done away with, but I think we can use it as an opportunity to change ourselves for the better. Porn addiction need not be the end, as it were, but a prelude. I also think that PMO isn't dealt with unless your overall life is in balance. We have the capacity to be gripped and enthusiastic over so many things; like Gabe says in one of his videos, getting rid of PMO is more about introducing new positive things into your life. I remember I once read that a lot US soldiers in Vietnam got addicted to morphine, but once they returned home most of them kind of naturally got off it. Why? I think they got back to good, balanced lives, with family, friends, social commitments, personal projects, work, hobbies, etc. This is the stuff that beats addiction.
I'm doing well, thanks! (Should be updating my own journal either today or tomorrow). I have quit video games for two weeks now and surprisingly feeling very good about it (I thought I would need it as a way to relax and give myself something instead of porn, but I think there are better ways to relax--especially now it's summer and the weather is nice.)
I just read about your relapse, prasamaccus. Don't be beat down, take it as something that just will happen. Reflect and learn from it. (Personally, I think P-sub is not a good idea.)