Yugal , with all due respect I fell thats another lame excuse.
This just shows how strong an addiction can be ,
remember porn has thousands of ways to trap you into its web .
Dont let it fool you .
Adventure of a lifetime - The sobriety chain
- Thread starter legal_alien
- Start date
This just shows how strong an addiction can be ,
remember porn has thousands of ways to trap you into its web .
Dont let it fool you .
legal_alien
Member
I can't refute your point. It is true.
And indeed a measure of how strong this addiction is. I just remembered a movie dialogue, "the greatest trick the devil pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist.." Probably apt in this case, won't you say?!
I'll be mindful of this kind of situation henceforth. Thanks man!
So with that in mind, what's the plan for next time you feel unwell & badly need a good nights sleep? What are you going to do instead of PMO?
legal_alien
Member
Haha! I'm glad you asked because I'd have dodged the actual question for God knows how long. Also gives me insight of how promptly I talk about the issue and refrain from talking about the solution.
Well, let's see. I surprisingly do know what I shouldn't do when this happens again -
No TV and No mobile. It leads to PMO.
I'm gonna read instead. A healthy replacement to mindless scrolling and binge watching series and movies. Yeah! That's what I'm gonna do. I'll keep a book bedside starting today.
Thanks man! Thanks for asking
legal_alien
Member
Day 0 for me again.
Can't seem to break out of the binge.
Can't seem to break out of the binge.
Stay cool and don't worry about it Yugal.
* Reflect on how & why
* Change your routine accordingly to avoid it in future
* Rinse & repeat
You got this!
legal_alien
Member
I did reflect. And I knew exactly how and why.
But yet I did it again. I didn't change my routine accordingly. I should've. I should've slept early. Watching TV or even doing nothing somehow always leads to PMO.
I'm gonna keep trying. Tomorrow I'm gonna tell myself all day that I'm gonna sleep early. I'm just gonna picture it. Picture that I'm having a good night s sleep and waking up refreshed and energetic.
Yepp. As long as it takes. I'm gonna leave no stone unturned.
legal_alien
Member
Day 0 again.
Completely baffled.
Lately, I haven't tried to fight the urge at all. I've just readily gave in everytime. Not much to say other than this.
Completely baffled.
Lately, I haven't tried to fight the urge at all. I've just readily gave in everytime. Not much to say other than this.
legal_alien
Member
Day 0
Went a day sober before . Feel good about it.
I've noticed a slight change in the way I indulge ever since I joined the forums and started reading and watching content on why nofap is so important. I haven't succumbed mindlessly to the addiction but have exercised bit of a control over it. I understand from experience that although I feel in control now but it doesn't take much time to return to old patterns. I'm trying to be mindful of it.
I feel extremely sad when I see, how so many people in this world are going through so much pain and suffering while I squander away all the good that has been given to me to this addiction.
I haven't been sober since last week or two but have indulged much less than I usually do. Now, I plan not long timelines but only three days of sobriety. I'll be back here after three days to post update on how it went.
Went a day sober before . Feel good about it.
I've noticed a slight change in the way I indulge ever since I joined the forums and started reading and watching content on why nofap is so important. I haven't succumbed mindlessly to the addiction but have exercised bit of a control over it. I understand from experience that although I feel in control now but it doesn't take much time to return to old patterns. I'm trying to be mindful of it.
I feel extremely sad when I see, how so many people in this world are going through so much pain and suffering while I squander away all the good that has been given to me to this addiction.
I haven't been sober since last week or two but have indulged much less than I usually do. Now, I plan not long timelines but only three days of sobriety. I'll be back here after three days to post update on how it went.
legal_alien
Member
I succumbed on Day 1.
Gonna try again today. I know exactly the moment I decided I'm gonna do it. And more often than not it has to do with something I see on television or mobile.
Today, and for the next 2 days if I see something that I'm sure is gonna lead me to PMO - I will think of it as a mirage in a desert. I will tell myself this isn't the real thing and that it'll only lead me astray.
Gonna try again today. I know exactly the moment I decided I'm gonna do it. And more often than not it has to do with something I see on television or mobile.
Today, and for the next 2 days if I see something that I'm sure is gonna lead me to PMO - I will think of it as a mirage in a desert. I will tell myself this isn't the real thing and that it'll only lead me astray.
Knowing & managing the situation is important but doing that alone often only delays the inevitable relapse. What might be good to focus on is the inner dialogue that's going on in your head. What are you saying to yourself? How do you justify the decision to PMO in your head when you do?
I think knowing this will give you some deeper knowledge as to why these relapses are happening and how you can turn things around and say no to the inner addict.
Keep going!
I think knowing this will give you some deeper knowledge as to why these relapses are happening and how you can turn things around and say no to the inner addict.
Keep going!
legal_alien
Member
Took a moments pause as decided before PMOimg to think of 10 things I wish to accomplish. I slept while thinking about the third thing. So didn't indulge.
I'm thinking those 10 things right now ... This very moment.
And am gonna indulge once done.
Post updates tomorrow.
I'm thinking those 10 things right now ... This very moment.
And am gonna indulge once done.
Post updates tomorrow.
legal_alien
Member
I had been stressed since past few days regarding a certain issue. Mind has been programmed in these years of PA to medicate with P. The only difference this time being that I was mindful of the act. I could see it gain momentum and eventually I indulged a couple of times in last two days.
There's so much that needs to be done in life. Yet here I am struggling with this insignificant mundane addiction. The fatigue in my body seems hard to shake off and as soon as I start getting any better I succumb to PMO and I go back to the start. I've been telling myself that I'd start working out once I gather some strength but I guess I'll gather some strength once I start working out. So yeah, I'm going for long walk today.
Today morning I applied the breaks on the momentum PMO had gathered. Will go sober all day today and post the update same time tomorrow morning.
There's so much that needs to be done in life. Yet here I am struggling with this insignificant mundane addiction. The fatigue in my body seems hard to shake off and as soon as I start getting any better I succumb to PMO and I go back to the start. I've been telling myself that I'd start working out once I gather some strength but I guess I'll gather some strength once I start working out. So yeah, I'm going for long walk today.
Today morning I applied the breaks on the momentum PMO had gathered. Will go sober all day today and post the update same time tomorrow morning.
legal_alien
Member
Went sober 24 hours. Then I gave it.
It wasn't much of a giving in. I mean, I didn't put up any fight or didn't have any conflicting situation in my mind. A while after that I thought to myself if it made me happy. I thought something equivalent to saying, "meh".
So that's that. I'm bent on setting extremely small targets. So here's another one. Just the night.
I'm gonna be sober only for the night.
Be back here tomorrow.
It wasn't much of a giving in. I mean, I didn't put up any fight or didn't have any conflicting situation in my mind. A while after that I thought to myself if it made me happy. I thought something equivalent to saying, "meh".
So that's that. I'm bent on setting extremely small targets. So here's another one. Just the night.
I'm gonna be sober only for the night.
Be back here tomorrow.
Hi Legal,
I wanted to highlight a really important realisation that I hope you take to heart which is that we do not have to wait for X number of days clean or anything like that to start living the life we want to live. Doesn't matter if you were bingeing all day and you've only got 10 pushups in you, anythings better than nothing so by all means start today!
The more good things you have in your life, the less inclined you will be to PMO. It will also be easier to deal with the stresses, worries & problems in life because you will have good things in it to balance it out. Also exercise is one of the ultimate stress busters so the sooner you make that a habit the better!
Keep going, you'll get there!
legal_alien
Member
I do take it to heart and will try to think of it everytime I try to "wait for something to happen before I go about doing what's necessary ... ".
So, that said... I start working out right at this moment and will make it a daily habit.
Thanks man! Hope you're doing well!
Keep going you too !!
legal_alien
Member
Went sober another 24 hours before deciding to indulge. Not much substance and meaning to PMOing really. Mundane act. I find myself jumping from one video to another in search of novelty that mind has gotten programmed to. A lot of work involved for a pleasure that lasts but a few seconds. It's gotten me hooked nevertheless and many like me.
The power of this addiction or any addiction for that matter has got a lot to do with the momentum that sets to it upon repetition. And I've seen that momentum shake and its pace reduce gradually in the past few weeks ever since I've started with this thread. One of the benefits I noted of keeping small targets is that it helps ease down this momentum. And while that happened my dependency and compulsive behavior on and over PMO also seemed declined.
One more thing to note is that small targets in a certain way made me the controller and decider and not the controlled and victim. That has somehow changed how I look at this whole PMO thing in the past few days. But I won't be able to describe it until I fully understand it and experience it more.
So that's that. Won't indulge tonight.
Be back here tomorrow.
The power of this addiction or any addiction for that matter has got a lot to do with the momentum that sets to it upon repetition. And I've seen that momentum shake and its pace reduce gradually in the past few weeks ever since I've started with this thread. One of the benefits I noted of keeping small targets is that it helps ease down this momentum. And while that happened my dependency and compulsive behavior on and over PMO also seemed declined.
One more thing to note is that small targets in a certain way made me the controller and decider and not the controlled and victim. That has somehow changed how I look at this whole PMO thing in the past few days. But I won't be able to describe it until I fully understand it and experience it more.
So that's that. Won't indulge tonight.
Be back here tomorrow.
legal_alien
Member
Had a tiring day at work yesterday.
From past experience, I know that tiredness often makes is vulnerable to PMO. But yesterday was different. I wasn't feeling vulnerable yet I indulged. And then again today morning.
It was extremely mechanical a thing. I don't remember feeling ecstatic or anything of the sort. I kept moving from one video to another until finally deciding one to climax over. Both these times I felt a certain distance between me and the addiction. As if the addiction hasn't gotten over me but that I've let it. From past experience, I also have learnt that there are ways behind comprehension that the addiction might soon overwhelm me with. But I understand that the addiction in itself is powerless without me. Infact, it has no seperate existence while I do. And it is I who decide.
A strange thing happened a day or two ago. Often when I PMO a night, the next morning I tend to do it again involuntarily. It's like a set mechanism. But day before yesterday, the thought never crossed my mind. I feel a significant change is seen when we think of ourselves as the decider of indulgence and not the victim of indulgence.
So, that's that.
I've set another short goal. Just the night. Tonight. Be back here tomorrow.
From past experience, I know that tiredness often makes is vulnerable to PMO. But yesterday was different. I wasn't feeling vulnerable yet I indulged. And then again today morning.
It was extremely mechanical a thing. I don't remember feeling ecstatic or anything of the sort. I kept moving from one video to another until finally deciding one to climax over. Both these times I felt a certain distance between me and the addiction. As if the addiction hasn't gotten over me but that I've let it. From past experience, I also have learnt that there are ways behind comprehension that the addiction might soon overwhelm me with. But I understand that the addiction in itself is powerless without me. Infact, it has no seperate existence while I do. And it is I who decide.
A strange thing happened a day or two ago. Often when I PMO a night, the next morning I tend to do it again involuntarily. It's like a set mechanism. But day before yesterday, the thought never crossed my mind. I feel a significant change is seen when we think of ourselves as the decider of indulgence and not the victim of indulgence.
So, that's that.
I've set another short goal. Just the night. Tonight. Be back here tomorrow.
Hi LegalHad a tiring day at work yesterday.
From past experience, I know that tiredness often makes is vulnerable to PMO. But yesterday was different. I wasn't feeling vulnerable yet I indulged. And then again today morning.
It was extremely mechanical a thing. I don't remember feeling ecstatic or anything of the sort. I kept moving from one video to another until finally deciding one to climax over. Both these times I felt a certain distance between me and the addiction. As if the addiction hasn't gotten over me but that I've let it. From past experience, I also have learnt that there are ways behind comprehension that the addiction might soon overwhelm me with. But I understand that the addiction in itself is powerless without me. Infact, it has no seperate existence while I do. And it is I who decide.
A strange thing happened a day or two ago. Often when I PMO a night, the next morning I tend to do it again involuntarily. It's like a set mechanism. But day before yesterday, the thought never crossed my mind. I feel a significant change is seen when we think of ourselves as the decider of indulgence and not the victim of indulgence.
So, that's that.
I've set another short goal. Just the night. Tonight. Be back here tomorrow.
What you have described is nothing out of place. It is a typical day in the life of an addict.
So many millions of porn addicts are going through the exact same thing. That is the quintessential feature of addiction: what many of us here refer to as "autopilot". It feels like a parallel brain is guiding you towards PMO.
And that is the secret: this whole reboot/ recovery concept is gaining full control over your mind and shutting off that autopilot permanently.
Do read " Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson, visit the website and read daily. You will learn a lot about the science of porn addiction and lots of advice on how to reboot.
You will break free one fine day.
legal_alien
Member
Autopilot! That's the word.
Yeah absolutely it felt like an autopilot.
Assigning and abiding by small targets have helped me get a certain control and thus in a way helped me exercise some control over the autopilot.
I did start reading YBOP but couldn't continue it.
I will start reading it again starting today.
Thanks for checkin in yogi !! Appreciate it.