Do you guys have any tips on what i could do to get better i am really not sure where I am at the moment in terms of rebooting. I still have no libido, no interest to chase the real thing, no interest at PMO at all.
I've posted on this thread and have been following you. I'm not as far in as you are, but I've recently seen some good results so I figured I'd share. I'm not keeping count of days, but I'm somewhere 100/110 plus. no PMO. No MO since around November 20ish. My biggest issue was PIED. All the tips you've seen (cold showers, exercise, intermittent fasting) ALLLLLLLL have helped me a lot. Especially the cold shower. shower regularly, then at the end just shut the hot completely off. Start off short....15 seconds or so. Then gradually increase your time in the cold daily until you can do a minute or two. It sucks and is a bit painful while you're in it, but as soon as you shut the water off you'll feel great. I found cold showers helped my mood IMMENSELY when I was in a deep and depressed flatline. Often times after I shut the water off I have to just stand there laughing for awhile. You'll actually feel a little high from it too.
It sounds to me like you're in a long flatline. You've been PMO free for a long time yet still struggling with libido. I have this struggle too. I had a wife laying in bed with me and zero desire to initiate anything. I think you sometimes have to force your libido awake. You've gotten used to "not using it" so your brain says "keep that shit shut down....it's not needed right now". You've got to convince your brain that yes....libido is, in fact, needed. In my case, my wife kind of took the lead. She knew where I was mentally and took it upon herself to initiate rewiring activities (the details of which we can get into in another conversation). My libido is in the process of coming back. It's not there yet. Here are some tips I've read about that seem like they'd be helpful for someone that doesn't have a partner to rewire with:
- socialize. Be around women
- take a yoga class
- better yet, take a dance class. You'll be in a situation where you have to be close to women. You'll be touching them, smelling them, interacting with them, moving with them, speaking to them. I like the idea of taking a class because it gives you the chance to interact with and look at women without being a creeper.
- don't be afraid to go on a few dates....and if you meet someone you're interested in, don't be afraid to enter into a relationship.
- utilize the other tips you've read about too. Exercise is the hardest for me to do consistently. Good diet and imtermittent fasting helps. Focus on your general overall health and fitness. It will help
The more and more I travel down this road, the more I'm coming to understand that it's all about conditioning brain responses to certain stimuli. That shit doesn't happen overnight and it takes repetition. You didn't break yourself by watching porn once and you didn't start healing yourself by stopping for just one day. I think you need to force yourself into situations where you need to interact with women. Every time you have an interaction with a woman you find attractive, you're training your brain a little bit more to respond a little bit more. Now that the porn is out of the way that is.
You've kicked serious ass on your reboot. It's my opinion that you're in desperate need of a person to rewire with.
To answer your stated question though. My general timeline is as follows:
day 1-30: No PMO, no sex, MO maybe twice.
Day 30-40: successful PIV with wife every day for 5 days. sometimes with viagra, sometimes not. I'm cured!!
Day 40-50ish: sexual frustration. instagram hottie scrolling. dick broke again quickly. failed sex a few times.
Day 50-100ish: massive flatline. NO PMO. NO MO. NO SEX. I just focused on staying the course during this time. (I discovered cold showers during this period)
Day 100 - present: long conversation with wife. Sexual activites with the expressed goal of NOT actually having sex. I would take care of her and touch her all over. Sometimes I would penetrate her....but I would NOT orgasm. We only did this one time....but I believe it was crucial. The two days following that, we had sex twice and I had an orgasm both times. This was last weekend and still no signs on a flatline. I woke up horny this morning and ready to go. I'm not confident it will work if I were to try for PIV right now. But I'm way better than a few weeks ago.
I hope this helps man. Good luck!