Finally getting the help I need

[AdamH312]

Been trying to quit Pornography for some time now. But I seem to crash hard which is annoying. Had some issues with the opposite sex in the past (Emotional Bullying) and I have Depression and Generalised Anxiety Disorder which doesn't help. I also have low self esteem mainly cause I have put on so much weight and porn was the outlet I had which in hindsight was a bad idea.

I will be glad when my mind doesn't crave it or I get those feelings which seem to draw me back to it. I am making the first step of what will be the final escape of it which will be a great feeling

 

[Promise]

You've made a good first step, mate.  Have you been to www.yourbrainonporn.com ?  It will help you understand what you're dealing with.  Many people who quit porn find that their issues with anxiety and self esteem lessen or disappear completely.  It'll also give you more time and motivation to exercise and lose that weight.  Let us know how you're feeling and how it goes.

 

[AdamH312]

Thank you I am glad for your kindness. That is an interesting article. Its amazing how the mind works when reacting to external stimulus. I hope I can rewire my brain back to how it should be.

 

[Username]

Welcome to the community, AdamH312!
You have my respect for deciding to change your life, joining this forum was the first step. Don't beat yourself up over your weight, a lot of people don't even realize that their lifestyle is seriously damaging their health. Since you might have some more spare time in the future, you could inform yourself a bit more about food, nutrition and cooking. I still remember how I've lost about 20 kg some years ago, it's hard and challenging but definitely worth trying. Nowadays, I'm quite a bit of a cook and really have a thing for getting to know new recipes and nifty moves around the kitchen. Give it a try!

 

[AdamH312]

Username I have always wanted to be able to cook and I hope I can make the time to learn. You would agree that if I have the skills I wont rely on these fast food places and able to make healthier meals. I try not to beat myself up about my weight though I keep getting remarks about it from people I know which doesn't help.

 

[AdamH312]

Damn it had a relapse.    It wont happen again. I am determined to beat this no matter how long it takes. It will be a long and hard road but I will get there. Might go hard mode for thirty days, could be a good reset for my mind and body. Here we go again

 

[Workman]

When I was quitting smoking way back when, I used to get pretty strong cravings. When the cravings hit me, I would immediately stop whatever I was doing, and do something else for five minutes...go for a walk, make a phone call, exercise, brush my teeth.... it didn't really matter what I did, as long as it was something to take my mind of the cravings for nicotine and the comforting ritual of smoking.

I do the same thing now when urges to PMO start coming on. I've been mostly lucky that my cravings have mostly been mild and infrequent so far, but there's been a few times when I've had to do the old five minute trick. Five minutes seems to be enough (for me at least) to get my mind off of porn and onto something else.

Maybe you can try it next time you feel the urge come on you. Hope it helps!

 

[fugu]

Been trying to quit Pornography for some time now. But I seem to crash hard which is annoying. Had some issues with the opposite sex in the past (Emotional Bullying) and I have Depression and Generalised Anxiety Disorder which doesn't help. I also have low self esteem mainly cause I have put on so much weight and porn was the outlet I had which in hindsight was a bad idea.

I will be glad when my mind doesn't crave it or I get those feelings which seem to draw me back to it. I am making the first step of what will be the final escape of it which will be a great feeling

It's great to have you man! The best advice I can give starting out is just to actively pursue recovery. Work on yourself, and do everything that you weren't able to do when you were jerkin' it behind a screen for so many years.

Again, great to have you here and always post when you need support or questions answered!

 

[AdamH312]

I am really glad to find a place where there is mutual support. I am really confident I can beat it and change my perspective to a more healthy outlook. Been trying to focus my mind as the urges have been really powerful like my body is trying to reset, I don't know what its doing to be honest I am doing my best to ignore them but admittedly its hard.

 

[vispren]

Welcome to the nation!

... I am really confident I can beat it and change my perspective to a more healthy outlook.

Yes, you can. Everybody can. The trick is to want to do it. Nobody relapses on accident. Relapse is a conscious thing. So is reboot.

Have you read William's "Get educated, get tools and learn to love withdrawals" thread? It's here.

Like the guys said, coming here is a good step. You will find support and understanding here. Good luck

 

[AdamH312]

Welcome to the nation!

... I am really confident I can beat it and change my perspective to a more healthy outlook.

Yes, you can. Everybody can. The trick is to want to do it. Nobody relapses on accident. Relapse is a conscious thing. So is reboot.

Have you read William's "Get educated, get tools and learn to love withdrawals" thread? It's here.

Like the guys said, coming here is a good step. You will find support and understanding here. Good luck

Thank you I really liked that thread, especially the warning about withdrawals. Already going through the withdrawals now lol. I have blocked sinuses, cold sweats and brain fogging. Its going to be a rough ride but I know that its going to be worth the pain and discomfort in the long term. I am willing to ride it through to the end

 

[AdamH312]

I feel that this will be a tough time, still getting bad withdrawals but I am going to push through. I am making a better conscious effort this time, there is really no excuse to not make 100% effort. I just wonder when the first signs of getting better will come.

 

[AdamH312]

Update

Going pretty well. Handling it better than I thought I would. I think I might be flatlining but I expected it. Just got to ride it out along with the tension headaches and fogging of my mind. I hate  the memory lapses but I know that its probably the brain beginning to rewire itself. I keep telling myself its all for the right reasons I am doing this so I keep going.

 

[AdamH312]

Just reset my counter and see if I can go 120 Days. I feel that I can definitely do it. If I do then I could probably forgo "Manual Mode" all together Hell its going to be the most difficult thing that I have ever done but I have decided that for this to work I need to make a real go of things.

I am glad that I have this site and forum for support along the way

 

[AdamH312]

Found a few photos and I thought I would share to give some support and motivation back:

 

[AdamH312]

Dammit. A damn relapse. I get into a down mood and I have a stupid slip up.

I know it could of been avoided and I could get angry, but I can't really do much about it. I have to not get disheartened by the relapse but continue to move forward. I have put in more safeguards to prevent it happening again. I am determined to succeed no matter how long it takes.

 

[AdamH312]

Dammit, relapsed yet again after having a couple drinks. Been residential at college and the fact that computers were few (outside my IT Course) made it easy. But I came home and ruined it. I was doing really well, had the longest length of time so far as well :/

 

[AdamH312]

This is getting annoying. A bit of bad news in the family and I relapse again due to my stress over it. I am really disappointed but nothing I can do. Its a step backwards but I don't want to let it stop me from succeeding.

 

[AdamH312]

Sorry I have been away. Lost my Nan on the 17th of last month so really been too busy to get on. Relapsed so many times that I hate myself for allowing myself to get into this mess, I feel like I wasted the good start I had.   I had such a good momentum up to that point and now I have crashed down.

I need to get back up and start the momentum going again. I know it will be hard but I am determined to get it right this time. I know that I can do it, I need to just prove it to myself that I can.

 

[Username]

My condolences for your loss, Adam. Everybody has a hard time maintaining the right focus during trying times and I bet most of us have experienced similar setbacks during their journey toward recovery. Don't let it get to you.
As I read it, you identified the most important aspect of all: determination. Show us and yourself that you can excel!