I'm back and on day 47!
I disappeared from Reboot Nation for a while because I felt unmotivated to post. I kept slipping and was having trouble recommitting to my reboot, but I got there after a few weeks.
I somehow got out of my low motivation rut. I kept re-reading YBOP over and over, and downloaded a bunch of apps to count days and give me something to do when an urge comes.
I have one app counting down from 90 and 2 counting up. I downloaded some relaxing mobile games to play when I get an urge. I thought having something to occupy my mind would be helpful. Sometimes when I get an urge, I put on the audiobook of YBOP, and play games while I listen.
Benefits came in a similar timeline to the first reboot I journaled about here. Now I'm further along and the benefits are still increasing.
I generally have more motivation because of the natural reward pathways regaining sensitivity, but it fluctuates. Like right now I'm not particularly motivated, but I certainly have been at times over the past few weeks, and it's been wonderful! Being able to actually get things done around the house and work on my business has been amazing. It seems to come in waves, in an upward trend. So I'm confident that the next motivational wave I get will be higher than previous ones.
I remember my dreams more now. It's so weird! I read about that in YBOP and thought it was just overly enthusiastic guys reporting a placebo effect, but REALLY, I literally remember my dreams more often now. Most of my adult life I have very rarely had dreams. Now I dream often and can remember it when I wake up.
I get morning wood most days. The quality still fluctuates. It's stronger and lasts longer.
I have been using trimix for around 8 months to get erections. At first it was unreliable and I had to use around 10 units. Now it works every time (as long as I inject it properly), lasts longer, and I'm only using 5 units. So I believe that as my natural ability to get erections returns, the lower the dose of erection meds will be needed. Hopefully it eventually reaches a point where there is little difference between using or not using something. At the moment my erections are still soft in partnered situations without meds, but definitely improved. I can feel the tingle of arousal at least, and find it easier to climax.
My bedroom is fairly tidy and organised now. I got it to a point where it looked beautiful 2 weeks ago, but I've let it regress a little bit. I could tidy it up to that level again in 5-10 minutes, which is a huge improvement for me. My bedrooms have been messy my whole adult life.
I also notice I'm less anxious in social situations. This fluctuates too, but the trend is generally upward. I seem to carry myself more confidently and make eye contact easier. I am more engaged when having conversations with people.
I even notice young women paying more positive attention to me when I'm out shopping or doing errands. A girl setting up the chairs at a cafe the other day noticed me from about 50m away, then as I got closer she made a point of smiling and saying hi. THAT SHIT NEVER HAPPENS WTF?!
The next day I went to get a battery in my watch. I've had this watch for 2 years and never worn it because it had no battery, so even that is a sign of progress, that I finally decided to get it sorted. While I was waiting, I got food from Zambrero's, a Mexican place. As I was sitting there eating my burrito bol, a girl and guy came along, and the girl was talking really loudly, trying to get the guy to choose where they should eat. Then she chose to sit down right near where I was. After some playful arguing, the guy wandered off to check out a cafe he thought had a good sandwich, and the girl stayed there waiting for him. It felt like she was attracted to me...I was on the fence about whether to introduce myself and say, "I'd love to take you out and tell you what to eat sometime." I found their whole interaction amusing. The guy was clearly very into her, but too nervous to make a decision in case she didn't like it. I can relate, but lately I have been much more direct with people and it's a good feeling being able to speak your mind.
That's about all I have to report. I wanted to get something written down so there's a record of the changes I've been noticing.
I'm about half way through my 90 Day reboot and excited to see what happens in the 2nd half!