I want to say 'induced fetishes' but I don't know how it works, I mean no one does - the research is unclear it seems on the internet. Other than that I'm recalling past videos I've watched of porn that I would 100% turn on if I were to relapse! Do you feel me?
22 year old, day 29, need to reach out
- Thread starter og123xx
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D
Deleted member 26092
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I don't understand 'induced fetishes'. Can you describe it?
Recalling past videos of porn you have watched is triggering the same nerves. In order to change the structures in your brain (and weaken these pathways that were created because of p) I think you should avoid MO.
Source: https://oceanrecoverycentre.com/2016/07/the-ultimate-guide-to-overcoming-internet-porn-addiction/
Recalling past videos of porn you have watched is triggering the same nerves. In order to change the structures in your brain (and weaken these pathways that were created because of p) I think you should avoid MO.
Source: https://oceanrecoverycentre.com/2016/07/the-ultimate-guide-to-overcoming-internet-porn-addiction/
jberg
Active Member
Euphoric recall releases the same dopamine to the brain as watching porn does. Some people have given themselves some time to dry out from the dopamine release so that the brain can heal (dopamine receptors need time to reset and heal). Going 30 days with no masturbation, no porn, and no edging might be a good start.
Thanks for your thoughts guys. I think I am going to try and avoid MO for about 20 days or so for personal circumstances. In about 20 days life gets stressful and I've predicted that I'm going to be much more likely to 'act out' to porn. I think no MO will be too difficult to sustain at that point. I also don't want to quit masturbation, I want to do it in a healthy way and without porn, with greater emphasis of sex. This is what I want out of this and this is perfectly reasonable... in this world of addiction we all have our own personal goals.
I do value the advice you both have given and I think I am going to try nofap for 20 days or so. My streak of no porn has already been great so far and I feel really optimistic that trying this alongside rebootnation / therapy etc will give me a 'normal' sex life again.
Its been 1 day without MO (that said it has drastically decreased over the past 40 days to at most one a day because I can't finish without porn more than that so it has to build up). I'm already having urges to have my 1 a day but going to stick it out for 20 days or so. I have done no fap in the past for like 40 days and I was just really horny and ended up finding a real-life partner to have sex with. This sounds healthy but it was purely for sex. I then relapsed to porn, so I think the horniness will be reduced by going back to MO but just without porn. The 20 days or so without MO I think will be a real catalyst in all of this.
D
Deleted member 22651
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Happy new years mate!
always good to see you doing well.
In my experiences, I've had moments when I first started to reboot where I would only think about the stuff I'd watched previously during sex (masturbating for me was not an option as it would cause to have ED for a while), eventually I decided to be in the moment instead of having my mind run elsewhere with unwanted thoughts. Nowadays I usually get the odd flashback every few weeks or so.
Also I fully agree and see where you're coming from about how we perceive porn to be good. To this day I think about what I was like when I forgot about porn before high school and I would be into a girl purely for her personality and company and now I always feel like I want one that fits the criteria for the porn I was watching and im not as happy as I want to be otherwise which has been a big dilemma along the way. The high from porn isnt worth the mental destruction it brings
day 4 no MO, day 45 no porn. I felt an urge before to masturbate but thought I would come on to the forum instead. The urge wasnt strong enough for it to get me convincing myself that it is OK to relapse. This is something I must commit to!!! I guess I was strong enough to resist it. I was informed that it would happen and I know whys it happening and although some would say masturbation is healthy I must remind myself why I am having a break from masturbation for 20 days. Firstly all it gives me is a little high/stress relief/buzz. Yes, it's natural. So why am I doing it? I'm doing it so that my sexual desire increases to the point where it counteracts some of the effects porn has had. Not only am I not watching porn, but my arousal level is therefore increasing at the sight of more VANILLA things. Isn't this where I want to be? Or do I want to need more and more 'taboo' things to arouse me? I don't think I do? It's not given me the desire to pursue a relationship. It's not led me to enjoy sex.
I am doubting why I am doing this now. This is difficult -- things that come easy, are they worth having?
I am doubting why I am doing this now. This is difficult -- things that come easy, are they worth having?
Thank you for your advice. As a follow on from my above post about my doubt about why I am doing a phase of no masterbation, porn, or edging, may I ask you why you would suggest this?
I think the 'relapse hijacker' in my brain is talking right now :/
D
Deleted member 22651
Guest
Short answer, no. Long answer, it depends on what the easy thing is and the long term effects.
I feel like this is something only you can answer, why did you want to stop porn to begin with, what happened that made you realize that it wasn't worth carrying on with? How would it effect you if you were to go back to porn?
jberg
Active Member
For me, porn and MO killed my ability to have true intimacy with a real person. I found that porn/MO was not deeply satisfying, and left me feeling empty. I also found that it was impossible for me to have both--deeply satisfying connection with a real person while using porn and MO. The SA white book explains it this way:
amazing. Yeah thanks man. Ill also give this book a read
jcwright
Member
Hang in there friend. You are not alone. Please check out my profile. I posted a plan to overcome this for good. I did. It works.
Thank you for the support. Really appreciate it. Its a great thing to keep spreading the love and support.
Thank you for your response. My effects from porn are literally like, as someone else said: I'm a good-looking, smart guy, and have had many offers over the years from people (as I say im bi). Sexual intercourse has never been 'that good' because porn has kinda lowered my drive. Porn has also led me to types of porn that I think are not the best things to be watching. So yes I've not watched porn and this is fine. I'm currently also having a dry spell of MO, around 20 days say --- this specifically is TOUGH. I want to MO, so why don't I do it right now if it is so natural and as if I 'deserve' it ---- I chose to do this to 'jump start' my sex drive. I had advice from @jberg and @Ichschaffdas that regarding some of the fetishes etc I would benefit from some 'nofap'. I agree and I'm giving it a go. It's quite hard, I'm on day 8 of no MO and like day 50(ish) of no porn.
The easy thing is PMO. The hard thing is abstaining from P and abstaining from MO FOR A WHILE, in order that...... i dont know. I don't know if i want or have time for a relationship. I think it could be a distraction. I know that all of this I'm going to have sex soon, or I will end up relapsing to porn. Or I continue in like 15 days to MO and I think I'll be in a good position.
I really do think that for me, the easy thing is to go back into PMO. The reason this is easy is because I have quite bad social anxiety that I do not show but I have it inside. The idea of my sexual encounters happening in 'real life' is scary. I think I am scared for this change. I think porn keeps my sex drive down and i do not have to confront my desire for intimacy in a sense. However this desire for intimacy bubbles up every so often and I'm like I want a relationship
D
Deleted member 26092
Guest
Interesting statement with the real life fear of encounters. I suggest that you try living the life of a celibate priest for a few days. During this period, sex is not an option, either in real life or in porn. Detach yourself from the thought of having sex again someday. There are no commitments.