Still no urge for sex

[AG2161]

Ssup fapstronauts!
I'm here to seek your valuable advise again!
Today marks my 70th day of full hardmode reboot, after having indulged in porn for around 14 yrs and having masturbated in prone position for most of my life. I've been a victim of ED ( full blown ED) for around 3 years that I know of (didn't have sex before that), it's only a couple of months back i realised where I'm going wrong and decided to go full hard mode.
The last 70 days have shown me significant improvement in my overall mood, focus, patience and anxiety levels and I'm overall uplifted. Erections (MWs occassionally 50-60% hard) have been better but not 100%. In general I craved to masturbate more than I craved for porn, however I didn't indulge in it which led to around 3 wet dream over the course of the last 70 days.
However, I also didn't have sex or try to have sex until a couple of days back.
My gf visited me for around 3 days and left yday, my erections during intimacy have improved significantly compared to previous times and I even sustained it throughout a fellatio (didn't even get erections before) and eventually got off on a HJ. All said and done, my urge to have sex with her is still not back and I do not get aroused by her as much as I did by porn. Some arousal is there but not enough to want me to have sex.
I want to know whether this is normal and am I on the right track and also is there anything else in my end that I can do? Can't leave her hanging high and dry forever ...

 

[otanerferguson]

It's normal. 70 days is still early in your journey, but you are on the right track. It just takes time to rewire to real life women. Like a Pavlov dog, you are deeply conditioned to the cues of porn, which a real life woman can't replicate and so you only salivate to pixels. What you are noticing is something I noticed too. That with porn, the anticipation, the kink was so high and with my wife it was never like that. It was pleasurable but never as complete bliss like with porn. Until one day it was... The other day I saw her change for work and man I felt like ravaging her, and I did. It's been about a year since I started my reboot and it took about six months for me to heal (which you can read about here), so it's taken about another six months since I called success to feel that same anticipation with my wife that I used to feel with porn (that is about a year since the beginning of the reboot).

On your end, the usual advise for a daily routine, exercise but never to exhaustion (mainly lifting, CrossFit, or calisthenics but NOT running or aerobic exercises like elliptical machines or bicycles), hydrate, box breathing, take walks, commune with nature, eat healthy (without many processed foods and take it easy on the carbs). Spend time around women, be in their presence. There are certain neurochemicals that your body only produces when you are in the company of other humans. For me, a live yoga class was a perfect excuse to be in their company. It's a place where it's kinda okay to stare at real life fit women, bent over, in tights. Just don't be creepy. Talk to them before and afterwards, not coming on to them, just talking.

One thing that I think would have helped me during reboot is vagus nerve reset exercises, so you might want to try this and these exercises.

You'll be fine, just stick with it. It takes time.

 

[AG2161]

It's normal. 70 days is still early in your journey, but you are on the right track. It just takes time to rewire to real life women. Like a Pavlov dog, you are deeply conditioned to the cues of porn, which a real life woman can't replicate and so you only salivate to pixels. What you are noticing is something I noticed too. That with porn, the anticipation, the kink was so high and with my wife it was never like that. It was pleasurable but never as complete bliss like with porn. Until one day it was... The other day I saw her change for work and man I felt like ravaging her, and I did. It's been about a year since I started my reboot and it took about six months for me to heal (which you can read about here), so it's taken about another six months since I called success to feel that same anticipation with my wife that I used to feel with porn (that is about a year since the beginning of the reboot).

On your end, the usual advise for a daily routine, exercise but never to exhaustion (mainly lifting, CrossFit, or calisthenics but NOT running or aerobic exercises like elliptical machines or bicycles), hydrate, box breathing, take walks, commune with nature, eat healthy (without many processed foods and take it easy on the carbs). Spend time around women, be in their presence. There are certain neurochemicals that your body only produces when you are in the company of other humans. For me, a live yoga class was a perfect excuse to be in their company. It's a place where it's kinda okay to stare at real life fit women, bent over, in tights. Just don't be creepy. Talk to them before and afterwards, not coming on to them, just talking.

One thing that I think would have helped me during reboot is vagus nerve reset exercises, so you might want to try this and these exercises.

You'll be fine, just stick with it. It takes time.

Thank you so much man! Really appreciate you taking so much time and breaking it down for me! Here's hoping I get back on the right track sooner than ever!