MattfromHR04
Member
I'm a 19 year old guy living in Canada, living with my family, and not much Luck with girls (I'm an attractive guy, I've certainly had opportunities to get a girlfriend, I'm just a dense idiot). Porn never affected my attraction to the women I knew, Porn was always one of my go to ways to relieve stress. Since I found porn, I was either 9 or 10 and I often went onto my father's work computer when he wasn't home, of course there were times I was caught, not directly but indirectly, like history and all that. When I was 12, I got a PC in my room and that PC got very slow, very quick. It was a porn machine, and eventually when I got a smart phone, that was a game changer. Just like any guy, I'd watch porn when I was alone, but I would also watch porn with one earbud in while my family was home and even in rooms right next to mine. At this point you could say I was addicted. By the time I was in high school, there were Tb's of porn on my PC, I would torrent 1080p scenes which were up to 5gb in size. In my high school years I would come home from school, watch a an hour of porn, get my homework done, play online with friends and after I was done for the day, reward myself for getting everything done with another hour of porn. If my friends were busy, the time I'd spend hanging with my friends, I'd use downloading and watching more porn. Porn from what I believe has merely been a hobby of mine that would double as an addiction. I just realized I'm making it sound like my life was all about porn, but no. Throughout those 10 years, I've done many many other things that I would call hobbies, but I've dropped some, and attained new ones. Porn has just be a constant in my life. Back then there were days where all I did was sit at my PC and watch porn/play videogames all day, and that's honestly normal for a guy that was in his teens. Although I have had rare days, where I was just horny the moment I wake up and the entire day, watch porn. But those days were far from frequent, like once everyone one or two months. During 2020, I graduated high school and because of covid-19, everyone's been working from home, and that made it difficult to try and reboot because I was starting college in the fall and all I could do was sit home on my pc all day. for that year of college, It was much okay. I didn't masturbate to often, If I remember correctly, but rebooting was out of the question at the time because of how the circumstances were for living in Canada at that time.
Back in September 2021 I was on these forums and around that time I really really wanted to quit or at the very least beat this addiction. Since then I've gone at most about 20 days before I relapsed. My Addiction always wins. I've read books on porn addiction and Its just extremely difficult. These recent months have been quite good, getting school work done, watching porn very few times a week. My addiction led to making a secondary account on social media sites, for perverse purposes, and I've deleted those accounts, I've also uninstalled my second browser that I used for anything porn related, with many many bookmarks. I deleted hundreds of porn videos off my PC. I've sit been home for the most part, rarely going out, not only because of covid, but now also because there has been massive amounts of snow outside, so going out is really not an option. So, as of now I'm still on college, still am addicted to porn, I never hated porn, I just understand I should take control of my use of porn.
Any Advice? I understand I didn't delete all my porn, that's because the Porn I still have are things I either purchased, or I cant find on the internet anymore.
Back in September 2021 I was on these forums and around that time I really really wanted to quit or at the very least beat this addiction. Since then I've gone at most about 20 days before I relapsed. My Addiction always wins. I've read books on porn addiction and Its just extremely difficult. These recent months have been quite good, getting school work done, watching porn very few times a week. My addiction led to making a secondary account on social media sites, for perverse purposes, and I've deleted those accounts, I've also uninstalled my second browser that I used for anything porn related, with many many bookmarks. I deleted hundreds of porn videos off my PC. I've sit been home for the most part, rarely going out, not only because of covid, but now also because there has been massive amounts of snow outside, so going out is really not an option. So, as of now I'm still on college, still am addicted to porn, I never hated porn, I just understand I should take control of my use of porn.
Any Advice? I understand I didn't delete all my porn, that's because the Porn I still have are things I either purchased, or I cant find on the internet anymore.
