RunPierreRun
Member
Hi to the one(s) who read my lines.
I am 48.
I use porn fom my teenage times, more than one time a week.
I am living in a relationship with a beautiful woman with her 19y old daughter from her previous marriage and our 4y old daughter.
I have no other relationship, no other woman and there is no need.
Porn gives everything I need. No specialities. But an action may take 2-3 hours.
I smoke during watching porn, that gives double addiction (probably), I dont know. Normally I don't smoke.
Some weeks ago it turned out, my partner found me. She was so good not blaming but trying to help.
A week after i fell back. Shame, I blame myself.
I could list the reasons why I do it or why I fall back again and again, but that would be pathetic.
I want to be strong, now I am not.
Yesterday night I made it again and she realized, I tried to lie not doing it, but she knew.
I want to start a new life (age 48!), to come back to life since now I am an outsider of my own life.
So I list the BAD of porn:
loosing time-putting important things aside-being tired watching by night-loosing focus of life-loosing friends-feeling depressed-loosing partner-focusing on myself, being selfish-not seeing the nice things around me-feeling more and more weak
I list the GOOD as well, to know what to substitute:
nice shaped bodies-nice look of girls-feeling shivering during watching-excited about forbidden thing-being alone-loosing link to real life.
Ok so lets RUN.
I come back tonight to give me strength to hold on.
I am 48.
I use porn fom my teenage times, more than one time a week.
I am living in a relationship with a beautiful woman with her 19y old daughter from her previous marriage and our 4y old daughter.
I have no other relationship, no other woman and there is no need.
Porn gives everything I need. No specialities. But an action may take 2-3 hours.
I smoke during watching porn, that gives double addiction (probably), I dont know. Normally I don't smoke.
Some weeks ago it turned out, my partner found me. She was so good not blaming but trying to help.
A week after i fell back. Shame, I blame myself.
I could list the reasons why I do it or why I fall back again and again, but that would be pathetic.
I want to be strong, now I am not.
Yesterday night I made it again and she realized, I tried to lie not doing it, but she knew.
I want to start a new life (age 48!), to come back to life since now I am an outsider of my own life.
So I list the BAD of porn:
loosing time-putting important things aside-being tired watching by night-loosing focus of life-loosing friends-feeling depressed-loosing partner-focusing on myself, being selfish-not seeing the nice things around me-feeling more and more weak
I list the GOOD as well, to know what to substitute:
nice shaped bodies-nice look of girls-feeling shivering during watching-excited about forbidden thing-being alone-loosing link to real life.
Ok so lets RUN.
I come back tonight to give me strength to hold on.