How's everyone doing today? I've been reading some of the posts, and it's good to see so many men putting up a hard fight to get this addiction under control, or whatever you want to call it. It's encouraging.
But right now I'm feeling like a failure because I just looked at porn 10 minutes ago. I don't even know why I started looking. Maybe it was loneliness or boredom, I don't know. But I feel like a fucking loser. I hate myself. I wish I were dead. I'm so sick and tired of being a slave to this damned habit. Some 30 years spent battling pmo. All I have to show for it is unhappiness, misery, loneliness, and a stressed marriage.
God, why do I keep doing this to myself? My wife knows about my addiction. Still I'm not comfortable talking to her about my lapses. I even lie to her, telling her I'm fine when really I've been having problems. I'm so lonely. Sometimes the pain and loneliness associated with pmo is overwhelming. Sometimes, like now, I feel afraid that I will never move beyond pmo. Right now, I'm very sad, lonely, very afraid, and I just want the pain to end. I'm not saying I have plan to kill myself, I'm just expressing how I FEEL right now.
Please someone give me some feedback. Thank you.
But right now I'm feeling like a failure because I just looked at porn 10 minutes ago. I don't even know why I started looking. Maybe it was loneliness or boredom, I don't know. But I feel like a fucking loser. I hate myself. I wish I were dead. I'm so sick and tired of being a slave to this damned habit. Some 30 years spent battling pmo. All I have to show for it is unhappiness, misery, loneliness, and a stressed marriage.
God, why do I keep doing this to myself? My wife knows about my addiction. Still I'm not comfortable talking to her about my lapses. I even lie to her, telling her I'm fine when really I've been having problems. I'm so lonely. Sometimes the pain and loneliness associated with pmo is overwhelming. Sometimes, like now, I feel afraid that I will never move beyond pmo. Right now, I'm very sad, lonely, very afraid, and I just want the pain to end. I'm not saying I have plan to kill myself, I'm just expressing how I FEEL right now.
Please someone give me some feedback. Thank you.