Rumson
Member
So, here it goes, the public confession although anonymous.
I am 32 years old and I've been addicted in some form to pornography since my early teens. I think my first exposure to it all was from friends and the rest is history. I thought I could quit at any time and later in life I realized my willpower was not enough.
I've only had one serious relationship in my life and I have felt unworthy to even try and pursue another relationship. My lack of self-confidence was/is not helping. I've realized that pornography has affected the way I see ladies and I have sexual thoughts quite often. Ashamedly, I have even thought of recording some ladies with a phone without them knowing. Yet I am the same person who knows it is wrong and shameful, yet I'm the very person who did this..
These lows are a part of how I realized how much I've fallen. This isn't who I am, this isn't who my parents raised and the people around me see the good in me yet I have been a hypocrite in so many ways. I've been watching YouTube videos (such as Gary Wilson's - The great porn experiment) and browsing forums today and I decided to share my story here.
I used porn yesterday because I was bored and I usually use it to feel better but today is Day 1 of no porn.
My triggers:
Nudity in movies.
Ladies on Instagram showing off too much.
I wish to start a reboot and start a new chapter in my life free from porn. I applied for professional counseling starting this week and I hope that I can share a story of success with you all soon.
I wish to be a better man, and hopefully a husband and father and at the very least, I hope to help younger men avoid the same mistakes and avoid this pit and void that porn creates.
What are some realistic expectations I can have? I don't want to relapse but it seems to be a common theme. How do I avoid them?
I am 32 years old and I've been addicted in some form to pornography since my early teens. I think my first exposure to it all was from friends and the rest is history. I thought I could quit at any time and later in life I realized my willpower was not enough.
I've only had one serious relationship in my life and I have felt unworthy to even try and pursue another relationship. My lack of self-confidence was/is not helping. I've realized that pornography has affected the way I see ladies and I have sexual thoughts quite often. Ashamedly, I have even thought of recording some ladies with a phone without them knowing. Yet I am the same person who knows it is wrong and shameful, yet I'm the very person who did this..
These lows are a part of how I realized how much I've fallen. This isn't who I am, this isn't who my parents raised and the people around me see the good in me yet I have been a hypocrite in so many ways. I've been watching YouTube videos (such as Gary Wilson's - The great porn experiment) and browsing forums today and I decided to share my story here.
I used porn yesterday because I was bored and I usually use it to feel better but today is Day 1 of no porn.
My triggers:
Nudity in movies.
Ladies on Instagram showing off too much.
I wish to start a reboot and start a new chapter in my life free from porn. I applied for professional counseling starting this week and I hope that I can share a story of success with you all soon.
I wish to be a better man, and hopefully a husband and father and at the very least, I hope to help younger men avoid the same mistakes and avoid this pit and void that porn creates.
What are some realistic expectations I can have? I don't want to relapse but it seems to be a common theme. How do I avoid them?
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