What the hell man. I'm almost 43. I don't have an addictive personality. I limit my drinking, I've been the DD on my own birthday for crying out loud. I've never done drugs. Tried weed when I was 16, didn't take to it. I've taken pain meds for injuries and never abused any of it. Why this? My story goes like this. I started checking out my older brother and Dad's porn mags when I was around 9 or 10. Wasn't long after that we got our first VCR. Found some of brothers stash and would partake any chance i had to be alone. It wasn't often, i had 4 sisters, my brother and my parents all under the same roof. Crazy days. So fast forward 30 odd years. I don't go too crazy, I'm a once a day kind of guy, 6 days into my first, and last, reboot. I've been married for 16 years now. Around year 3 I had an affair. It only happened the one time, but once was enough. My wife found out about it as they always do and lucky for me, she was able to live with me long enough to where we had some semblance of trust. It was the lowest point of my life, until the last few years. I never went out looking for a new affair. That was not for me either. I just replaced the real life girl, with the pixelated kind. It was great. It wasn't cheating, they weren't real. She's caught me quite a few times and I've destroyed her self esteem and her self worth more times than i care to remember. Every time she's stuck by me. The last 3 times have been the worst. I started getting a mild case of porn induced ED a few years back. It's gotten worse, but still functions off and on. I've tried Viagra, Cialis, some vitamin regimes. I've even had my testosterone checked, been on strange diets. Some of it kind of works, but until I found this group, I hadn't really put 2 and 2 together. My wife did, she's way more intuitive than i give her credit for. I would get clean and things would be good for s week or 2. I would flatline, sometimes no erections, sometimes just no interest. I would try and excuse it as stress, or being tired. I would turn to porn to try and "jumpstart" my libido. It didn't really work, i couldn't function for more than a few minutes and it would take forever for me to finish, if I did. We just kept doing this and i kept denying and lying. To her and myself. Well that's all over now. I have completely come clean with her and explained everything I've learned. It's been less than a week, but she's watched Gabe and Gary's videos with me now every night for the last 3 nights and together we have learned a ton. She still has a TON of trust issues and I don't blame her at all. I called a therapist yesterday and set up a couple of appointments for myself. I have been incredibly lucky to have my wife jump completely on board with all this. I feel for anyone that has to do this alone. It's a lot easier to imagine my life without porn than without her. Thanks for reading! Sorry if it's a little long