Taking back my life

anewlife

New Member
Very tired of living this empty and soulless life. Have been stuck in reboot-relapse cycle since several years. I don't have much hope that I can change at this stage. I feel that life has already slipped out of my hands. Living as a zombie with no motivation or goals in life.
I still want to give this another try like every time. Maybe I was doing it all wrong? Don't know but I made some changes. I started with controlling my social media addiction a month ago which thankfully is not a problem anymore. added exercise and meditation but have to become more consistent here. Out of my office hours, I am very unproductive and sometimes this causes me stress and eventually a relapse. Want to fill that time with personal development.
Since I cannot share this problem with people in real life, I decided to write here. I think a little bit of motivation and accountability is all I need. Would be updating here every few days or whenever I feel like.
P.S. - Forgive my English, I am not a native speaker. Thanks
 

anewlife

New Member
Have to start over again. Recently had a month long streak, but lost the momentum since then and have been relapsing every few days. Earlier I usually felt some guilt and sadness after a relapse which would be enough to get me up, but now even that has disappeared. What I have noticed is that once I am able to abstain for a week, my mind usually stabilises and does not wander towards P unless I am not vigilant enough. So 7 days is my next target and I would complete it by any means and I would not post here until then.
 

anewlife

New Member
Day 5 - Had to resort to MO today. I do not consider it a relapse in the traditional sense. The pressure buildup was very high and there looked no way out but to release it. As long as there is no P or mental stimulation, I am okay with it for now. However, I consider it too as an unhealthy habit that needs to be put to a stop. I also wish to spend less time browsing this forum and stop using it as a SM alternative and ultimately stop feeding my addiction which can take numerous forms for its survival.
 

anewlife

New Member
It has been around 50 days since I stopped using P. I saw through the illusions and it is no more a part of my life and I have no fear that I might fall back. Once we see through the illusions, it is impossible to even think about going back to the miserable state we were in. This also requires us to stop thinking that we are in the "recovering" phase, as we are already recovered. And that includes not keeping a track of days, or visiting a forum like this which keeps reminding us that we are still not there. However, I think it may be useful for me to check-in here every few weeks/months, to reflect on how far I have come.
 

tay97

Active Member
Great progress. There is not one single thing that you gain from using porn. The opposite is the case ...

We are free, because we feel good. We feel good, because we are free.
 
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